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I know the correct answer is “whatever makes them happy” but I’m asking more along societal standards.
My grandmother sometimes makes comments about how I should dress “older” and I think by “older” she means more “feminine” and “frilly”.
In my opinion I don’t dress “boyish” but it’s also not overtly “girly”.
Instead of skinny jeans and a floral pattern blouse w/ heels and jewelry I’ll wear skinny jeans with a solid color shirt, UGGs, flip flops or basic shoes and I do my hair and make up.
I don’t wear graphic t’s, shirts with words, stuff written on my ass, etc.
Everything she shows me is always more dressy or more formal, slacks, frilly floral blouses, heels, jewelry and shirt that looks like it would wrinkle if you wore a jacket over it. I never go places where I would need to wear heels or wear a bunch of jewelry.
I go to the store, her doctor visits, my physical therapy and if/when I go out to dinner I have outfits that are super cute and don’t require looking like I’m headed to a receptionist job in the 70s.
I’d say jeans, leggings, solid color tanks, tees and long sleeves, shorts, some cute dresses, flannel button ups.
That’s all crap people in their late 20s and early 30s wear.
I mean she finds things at Chico’s she thinks would be cute and I haven’t see anyone my age at Chico’s.
I know she has the best of intentions but I don’t even have children yet and I’m not about to start dressing like I have 3 grandchildren.
Help?
How do I explain to her what I wear is on par for my age?
When she points people out to me they’re always older than me and she never agrees with me when I tell her that.
I'm not sure it's that she wants you to look frilly. I think you hit the nail on the head, with the "receptionist job in the 70's" comment. She thinks you're at an age when you should dress a little more formally or elegantly. And she probably hasn't heard about casual office dressing being the norm, today.
I would advise you to ignore those comments, but the problem is, you're a part-time caregiver to her, so you can't ignore them. IDK, maybe the only way to make the peace would be to get one outfit that came close to her expectations, like a pair of straight-leg pants with a nicer top of some kind, that you find on clearance. (The fact that dressing well can be expensive seems to escape her.). You could think of it as your "Driving Miss Daisy" outfit. Heels would be overkill, though.
Instead of skinny jeans and a floral pattern blouse w/ heels and jewelry I’ll wear skinny jeans with a solid color shirt, UGGs, flip flops or basic shoes and I do my hair and make up.
I don’t wear graphic t’s, shirts with words, stuff written on my ass, etc.
When you say "a solid color shirt" ... what kind of shirt?
Retire the UGGs and skip the flip flops when you're going to be around granny. Find some simple flats.
When you say "a solid color shirt" ... what kind of shirt?
Retire the UGGs and skip the flip flops when you're going to be around granny. Find some simple flats.
My thought, exactly. I forgot to mention that. It's an easy concession to make. In hot weather, some nice, leather non-flip-flop sandals would probably work--something with a heel strap and some style. I'm not a fan of heels; I wouldn't go that far, but I'm getting the picture, that granny thinks wearing heels is the sign of an adult. Too bad, unless you don't mind a sandal with a low heel.
I think what you're wearing sounds fine. To me, frilly has less to do with age and more to do with personal style. I can't think of any reason I'd wear heels or even uncomfortable flats to please anyone. My MIL (when we were still talking to her) used to try to get me to wear heels or sandals with a lot of straps and beads. She even bought them for me, but she didn't believe a woman could wear size 11 shoes, so she'd buy an 8 and be shocked when I couldn't even get half my foot in.
I'm not sure it's that she wants you to look frilly. I think you hit the nail on the head, with the "receptionist job in the 70's" comment. She thinks you're at an age when you should dress a little more formally or elegantly. And she probably hasn't heard about casual office dressing being the norm, today.
I would advise you to ignore those comments, but the problem is, you're a part-time caregiver to her, so you can't ignore them. IDK, maybe the only way to make the peace would be to get one outfit that came close to her expectations, like a pair of straight-leg pants with a nicer top of some kind, that you find on clearance. (The fact that dressing well can be expensive seems to escape her.). You could think of it as your "Driving Miss Daisy" outfit. Heels would be overkill, though.
Hopefully you get along well with her, otherwise?
Her comments aren’t enough to make me change what I wear when I help her.
Usually I have my left hip taped and I wear leggings because they don’t mess with the tape. I also love leggings and people can just fight me on that one if they have to. Lol. Most my pairs have pockets and it’s just amazing. They’re like black skinny jeans with leg pockets.
We’re best friends otherwise.
Quote:
Originally Posted by hertfordshire
When you say "a solid color shirt" ... what kind of shirt?
Retire the UGGs and skip the flip flops when you're going to be around granny. Find some simple flats.
Like a solid color tank top, solid color long sleeves and short sleeves with various neck cuts, some V-neck, some crew neck, some off the shoulder. I don’t like patterns really. Just solid or sometimes cute boyfriend flannels with leggings.
Retire the UGGs? They’re for winter, if it’s cold I wear UGGs, I want warm, comfortable feet. Not sad, cold, aching feet. My snow boots are a pair of waterproof North Face boots.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth
My thought, exactly. I forgot to mention that. It's an easy concession to make. In hot weather, some nice, leather non-flip-flop sandals would probably work--something with a heel strap and some style. I'm not a fan of heels; I wouldn't go that far, but I'm getting the picture, that granny thinks wearing heels is the sign of an adult. Too bad, unless you don't mind a sandal with a low heel.
Except it’s not that easy if a concession actually.
I loathe strappy sandals, they leave tan lines, I’ve had the same flip flop tan lines for the last 29 years now.
As for the UGGs I wear those when it’s cold, I’m not wearing flats in the winter.
I don’t do heels. I have way too much wrong with my spine to be wearing heels. I’d have to be making 10K a month before I even would think about wearing any kind of heel for anything.
If I ever make it into acting I’m wearing a pair of flip flops on the red carpet.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hedgehog_Mom
I think what you're wearing sounds fine. To me, frilly has less to do with age and more to do with personal style. I can't think of any reason I'd wear heels or even uncomfortable flats to please anyone. My MIL (when we were still talking to her) used to try to get me to wear heels or sandals with a lot of straps and beads. She even bought them for me, but she didn't believe a woman could wear size 11 shoes, so she'd buy an 8 and be shocked when I couldn't even get half my foot in.
My grandmother will just seem mildly disappointed but it’s like it’s 2018 and women in their 30s don’t dress like they did in the 50s and 60s and I won’t tell her this but I rather curl up in my oven on broil than dress like that.
Like a solid color tank top, solid color long sleeves and short sleeves with various neck cuts, some V-neck, some crew neck, some off the shoulder. I don’t like patterns really. Just solid or sometimes cute boyfriend flannels with leggings.
Retire the UGGs? They’re for winter, if it’s cold I wear UGGs, I want warm, comfortable feet. Not sad, cold, aching feet. My snow boots are a pair of waterproof North Face boots.
Perhaps upgrade to some different boots that you can wear with socks. UGGs weren't a good look when they were the current trend. Even less so now.
To be honest, what you're describing sounds like what 20-somethings wear. You don't have to go old fashioned and stodgy, but your 30's might be time to consider polishing your look a little.
Perhaps upgrade to some different boots that you can wear with socks. UGGs weren't a good look when they were the current trend. Even less so now.
To be honest, what you're describing sounds like what 20-somethings wear. You don't have to go old fashioned and stodgy, but your 30's might be time to consider polishing your look a little.
I agree....
age-appropriate clothing is what you should focus on, you're not a kid anymore. That's likely what your grandmother is trying to say...You don't have to give up jeans but a pair of smart leather booties is more appropriate than Uggs. Shop in stores that have styles for women your age. Walk about boutiques or review magazines and see what you like.
You're not the age range for junior size/style shopping. Jewelry not necessary if you don't care for it. Go for a more put together look than just throwing on comfort clothes. They look sloppy.
Have fun choosing clothing a bit more sophisticated.
It could be a generational thing too. My mom tells me to cut my hair short, I am too old to have shoulder length hair. She has never stayed with the times, so I take her advice with a grain of salt.
To your friends your age dress the same?
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