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Old Yesterday, 07:15 AM
 
Location: 49th parallel
2,425 posts, read 1,246,990 times
Reputation: 5011

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Quote:
Originally Posted by ClaraC View Post

And then, again, there are those who don't care at all if they're offensive to other people.
This^^

You have been asked not to wear black by someone. If that someone is the bride or someone in the close family, then it's politic to listen. If it's just a busybody and you don't think you'll be offending anyone, wear the dress you want to wear.
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Old Yesterday, 08:56 AM
 
Location: STL area
910 posts, read 439,722 times
Reputation: 1948
I can't imagine anyone under 80 being offended by someone wearing black at a wedding. It is simply not a real rule anymore. I try to be respectful of other people, but there are certain beliefs that really aren't worth worrying about whether or not someone is offended and wearing black at a wedding is one of those things that is NOT worth worrying about. (Unless it is a deep rooted cultural belief...like when I got married, we kept white out of our wedding, my dress was ivory, and we used red and black...because my husband is Chinese and white is a funeral color in their culture). Now if it was the bride or her mother who asked you not to wear black, that would be different, but just some other friends who are going...you don't have to please them.

That said, I'd probably rather wear a lighter color to a beach wedding just because it would fit the location better. If you don't want to buy or don't have another dress though, just wear what you have and don't worry about it.
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Old Yesterday, 09:01 AM
 
Location: Former LI'er Now Rehoboth Beach, DE
7,487 posts, read 10,129,060 times
Reputation: 7354
Tell them that is too bad you won't be able to attend,
because you planned to give them a $500 check and then thank them for saving you the $$$.
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Old Yesterday, 09:42 AM
 
1,033 posts, read 601,923 times
Reputation: 2127
Is there an underlying tension between the bride and yourself?
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Old Yesterday, 09:57 AM
 
802 posts, read 997,494 times
Reputation: 1396
It’s just common sense to not wear white or black to a wedding. But even if you didn’t know, you said the bride asked you to not wear black so you already have your answer. What you’re really asking is of you should listen to the bride. That’s up to you. Usually when I go to a wedding I care about the person getting married and want my actions- such as how I dress- to reflect that. However she. I was bride- I didn’t pay any attention to what guests worse except my husbands step brother who came dressed in full military dress. We are not formal people, no one wore a suit other than the groomsmen, so that really stuck out.
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Old Yesterday, 09:58 AM
 
802 posts, read 997,494 times
Reputation: 1396
Quote:
Originally Posted by earslikeacat View Post
Is there an underlying tension between the bride and yourself?
You picked up on that too?
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Old Yesterday, 10:16 AM
 
8,940 posts, read 4,512,444 times
Reputation: 30995
Black to a wedding doesnít bother me. But I wouldnít want to wear a black dress on the beach.
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Old Yesterday, 11:02 AM
 
3,973 posts, read 4,747,499 times
Reputation: 10385
I always thought that destination weddings were planned that way to keep the number of actual attendee guests quite low. Folks who aren't very close family/friends are invited but not really expected to attend. I say send them a nice card and host the newlyweds for dinner once they get back to town, and you don't have to worry about the dress or whether you can actually afford the travel.
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Old Yesterday, 01:13 PM
 
1,676 posts, read 681,207 times
Reputation: 2976
Quote:
Originally Posted by Adriank7 View Post
My friend is having a destination wedding in a few months that we can’t really afford to go to but we are going. It’s a 5 pm wedding on a beach and reception on a patio. I have a nice black off the shoulder sun dress I was going to wear my friends tells me I can’t wear black. Is it really that wrong to wear black? My other friend showed me her dress which is similar but in blue.
No, it is not wrong to wear black. I have worn black to several weddings. Many others also have worn black to weddings I have been too.

ETA: If anyone is offended over someone wearing a nice black dress to a wedding they need to get over it. There are more important things in life to be upset about.

Last edited by NorthofHere; Yesterday at 01:26 PM..
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Old Yesterday, 02:24 PM
 
6,657 posts, read 6,990,125 times
Reputation: 9395
Quote:
.... you said the bride asked you to not wear black so you already have your answer. What you’re really asking is of you should listen to the bride. That’s up to you. Usually when I go to a wedding I care about the person getting married and want my actions- such as how I dress- to reflect that.
If the bride asks you not to wear something. You shouldn't wear it. YOU want to wear it, YOU look nice in it. The event and the day is not about YOU. I'm sure that black dress is not the only thing you can wear and dress appropriately.

Quote:
If anyone is offended over someone wearing a nice black dress to a wedding they need to get over it. There are more important things in life to be upset about.
Yes, So the friend should not wear black if asked by the bride herself.

Whatever the event is, if you can't come to my event, not wearing, something I've asked you not to wear, then don't come. I wouldn't miss you that much.
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