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Old 03-31-2019, 07:15 AM
 
Location: 49th parallel
4,605 posts, read 3,295,372 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ClaraC View Post

And then, again, there are those who don't care at all if they're offensive to other people.
This^^

You have been asked not to wear black by someone. If that someone is the bride or someone in the close family, then it's politic to listen. If it's just a busybody and you don't think you'll be offending anyone, wear the dress you want to wear.
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Old 03-31-2019, 08:56 AM
 
Location: STL area
2,125 posts, read 1,395,120 times
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I can't imagine anyone under 80 being offended by someone wearing black at a wedding. It is simply not a real rule anymore. I try to be respectful of other people, but there are certain beliefs that really aren't worth worrying about whether or not someone is offended and wearing black at a wedding is one of those things that is NOT worth worrying about. (Unless it is a deep rooted cultural belief...like when I got married, we kept white out of our wedding, my dress was ivory, and we used red and black...because my husband is Chinese and white is a funeral color in their culture). Now if it was the bride or her mother who asked you not to wear black, that would be different, but just some other friends who are going...you don't have to please them.

That said, I'd probably rather wear a lighter color to a beach wedding just because it would fit the location better. If you don't want to buy or don't have another dress though, just wear what you have and don't worry about it.
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Old 03-31-2019, 09:01 AM
 
Location: Former LI'er Now Rehoboth Beach, DE
13,055 posts, read 18,096,128 times
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Tell them that is too bad you won't be able to attend,
because you planned to give them a $500 check and then thank them for saving you the $$$.
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Old 03-31-2019, 09:42 AM
 
Location: Minnesota
1,394 posts, read 1,257,141 times
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Is there an underlying tension between the bride and yourself?
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Old 03-31-2019, 09:57 AM
 
1,216 posts, read 1,463,073 times
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It’s just common sense to not wear white or black to a wedding. But even if you didn’t know, you said the bride asked you to not wear black so you already have your answer. What you’re really asking is of you should listen to the bride. That’s up to you. Usually when I go to a wedding I care about the person getting married and want my actions- such as how I dress- to reflect that. However she. I was bride- I didn’t pay any attention to what guests worse except my husbands step brother who came dressed in full military dress. We are not formal people, no one wore a suit other than the groomsmen, so that really stuck out.
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Old 03-31-2019, 09:58 AM
 
1,216 posts, read 1,463,073 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by earslikeacat View Post
Is there an underlying tension between the bride and yourself?
You picked up on that too?
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Old 03-31-2019, 10:16 AM
 
16,414 posts, read 12,487,571 times
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Black to a wedding doesn’t bother me. But I wouldn’t want to wear a black dress on the beach.
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Old 03-31-2019, 11:02 AM
 
5,014 posts, read 6,597,909 times
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I always thought that destination weddings were planned that way to keep the number of actual attendee guests quite low. Folks who aren't very close family/friends are invited but not really expected to attend. I say send them a nice card and host the newlyweds for dinner once they get back to town, and you don't have to worry about the dress or whether you can actually afford the travel.
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Old 03-31-2019, 01:13 PM
 
3,217 posts, read 2,425,895 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Adriank7 View Post
My friend is having a destination wedding in a few months that we can’t really afford to go to but we are going. It’s a 5 pm wedding on a beach and reception on a patio. I have a nice black off the shoulder sun dress I was going to wear my friends tells me I can’t wear black. Is it really that wrong to wear black? My other friend showed me her dress which is similar but in blue.
No, it is not wrong to wear black. I have worn black to several weddings. Many others also have worn black to weddings I have been too.

ETA: If anyone is offended over someone wearing a nice black dress to a wedding they need to get over it. There are more important things in life to be upset about.

Last edited by NorthofHere; 03-31-2019 at 01:26 PM..
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Old 03-31-2019, 02:24 PM
 
10,611 posts, read 12,115,646 times
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Quote:
.... you said the bride asked you to not wear black so you already have your answer. What you’re really asking is of you should listen to the bride. That’s up to you. Usually when I go to a wedding I care about the person getting married and want my actions- such as how I dress- to reflect that.
If the bride asks you not to wear something. You shouldn't wear it. YOU want to wear it, YOU look nice in it. The event and the day is not about YOU. I'm sure that black dress is not the only thing you can wear and dress appropriately.

Quote:
If anyone is offended over someone wearing a nice black dress to a wedding they need to get over it. There are more important things in life to be upset about.
Yes, So the friend should not wear black if asked by the bride herself.

Whatever the event is, if you can't come to my event, not wearing, something I've asked you not to wear, then don't come. I wouldn't miss you that much.
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