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Old 06-28-2019, 04:38 PM
 
6,293 posts, read 3,564,804 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hertfordshire View Post
I agree to a degree.

To be honest, it's something I've put some thought into because I've had to deal with my late parents' 54 years of accumulated crap over the past few years (and they were both mild hoarders. Not in the trash-to-the-ceiling way, but they kept way more than they should have).

It's put my own belongings in a new light. I don't really care what happens to my stuff when I'm gone, and it won't be my problem, but it will be my sister's (or my niece's) problem. And I love them enough to make sure it's as smooth a process as possible. That means I've done a massive amount of downsizing so they don't have to.
I was surprised after my parents' deaths to discover how much downsizing they had done. That was the kindest, most thoughtful thing, I thought. I'm still sorting through the few special things they left behind and they are so meaningful (such as all of Dad's letters to Mom during the four years he was in WWII) that it takes me forever to do.

Other than the common household items and clothing I know what was left behind was meaningful and meant for me to look through. It's not an easy gift to accept.

I want to clean things out for my children before I'm gone but it's not working to plan. Every time I make space DH fills it up with new stuff! So I guess they will have quite a task ahead of them if I die first.
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Old 06-28-2019, 04:50 PM
 
255 posts, read 64,766 times
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I have downsized significantly. If I die first my husband won’t get rid of anything. I would get rid of his stuff in a few months. I would let my stepson take anything he wants.
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Old 06-28-2019, 05:23 PM
 
Location: Pittsburgh
22,533 posts, read 24,120,629 times
Reputation: 48896
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lodestar View Post
I was surprised after my parents' deaths to discover how much downsizing they had done. That was the kindest, most thoughtful thing, I thought. I'm still sorting through the few special things they left behind and they are so meaningful (such as all of Dad's letters to Mom during the four years he was in WWII) that it takes me forever to do.
I recently read an article that said that the children of parents who are "getting up there" in age should gently start the process of helping them downsize or clear out storage. Then they get to hear the stories about the items and it puts the parents in the drivers seat about what should stay and what should go.
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Old 06-28-2019, 06:05 PM
 
Location: Wisconsin
17,005 posts, read 17,320,800 times
Reputation: 41270
I wanted to point out that you can also give away things to extended relatives when you downsize. I had more things that belonged to my late mother & father (wedding presents from 1942, special dishes, depression glass, various keepsakes, other antiques, etc.) than either of my adult children wanted so I asked several of my nieces and nephews if they wanted those items. Obviously, my parents were their grandparents, too, but their parents (my brothers) were not interesting in those things when our parents died so their children did not have special things like that from their grandparents.

In my widow/widowers support group you would be surprised how many children and grandchildren wanted a favorite piece of clothing from the deceased. One widow had very fancy, stuffed teddy bears made out of her late husband's dress shirts. Another had pillows made out of his favorite shirts. And, a third used some of the clothes in a special handmade quilt. Favorite jewelry, special purses, etc. was also something that relatives might like to receive.
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Old 06-28-2019, 07:59 PM
 
Location: USA
2,660 posts, read 2,033,078 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WRM20 View Post
My grandmother said "who cares, I will be dead, so it's not my problem".
I like her attitude lol. I have a few nice things. My family can decide for themselves. Then either donate or trash it.
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Old 06-29-2019, 10:32 AM
 
Location: Upper Left Hand Corner
2,532 posts, read 949,484 times
Reputation: 4141
The makeup should be tossed since it isn't hygenic to use other's makeup, especially eye makeup. Everything else could be donated to thrift stores since it would be a blessing to others. Many thrift stores benefit needy people, like the handicapped, etc, so it's like making a cash donation to them. Throwing away perfectly good clothes is wasteful, and adds to the mountains of waste at the landfill. Other than that I won't care since I won't be needing them anymore.
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Old 06-29-2019, 07:52 PM
 
Location: Colorado
18,827 posts, read 4,939,389 times
Reputation: 5476
My daughter would decide what should be kept, donated or thrown away.
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Old 06-29-2019, 11:04 PM
 
Location: Chicagoland
5,655 posts, read 8,658,273 times
Reputation: 6768
My daughter would inherit everything. Iíve already started educating her on what designer items to keep/resell. We both consign/sell clothes together. At 16, she can appreciate quality, fabrics, and designers like Chanel.
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Old 06-30-2019, 07:59 PM
 
923 posts, read 252,508 times
Reputation: 2529
Quote:
Originally Posted by germaine2626 View Post
I wanted to point out that you can also give away things to extended relatives when you downsize. I had more things that belonged to my late mother & father (wedding presents from 1942, special dishes, depression glass, various keepsakes, other antiques, etc.) than either of my adult children wanted so I asked several of my nieces and nephews if they wanted those items. Obviously, my parents were their grandparents, too, but their parents (my brothers) were not interesting in those things when our parents died so their children did not have special things like that from their grandparents.

In my widow/widowers support group you would be surprised how many children and grandchildren wanted a favorite piece of clothing from the deceased. One widow had very fancy, stuffed teddy bears made out of her late husband's dress shirts. Another had pillows made out of his favorite shirts. And, a third used some of the clothes in a special handmade quilt. Favorite jewelry, special purses, etc. was also something that relatives might like to receive.
IF they want that stuff. Often people already have too much "stuff" of their own and don't want more. I tried to get some of my relatives to take some of my mom's bigger stuff, figured I'd rather see it go to family than the thrift store. No luck.
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Old 07-01-2019, 09:03 PM
 
Location: Edina, MN, USA
6,954 posts, read 7,387,939 times
Reputation: 16278
I just want to mention that if your children are boys and if you have nice things you may want to take care of donating or giving these things away before hand, if possible.

I watched my next door neighbors 3 boys fill up 2 large dumpsters with their mother's things. She had nice stuff but it meant nothing to these boys nor did they have a clue what they were throwing away - nor did they care. Just get the job done. It made me sick. Many ladies would have loved to have some of her things. Such waste.
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