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Old 07-01-2019, 02:18 PM
 
2,274 posts, read 1,559,500 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by silibran View Post
. This is the hard lesson I have had to learn. For most of my life, Iíve felt as if I was not worth treating especially well. I think I got that message beginning in childhood, and it stuck.
.

You could be my emotional twin. If I dig deep enough, most of my fashion/style related time wasted is because I feel I am not worthy enough for special treat. When the "not worthy" feeling gets overwhelming, I push out of my slump & take care of myself. Then I feel good for while but I revert back. It doesn't matter what I do, 6 months later or 1 year late I will get back to that "not worthy feeling". Mine is definitely from childhood, that is why it is so hard to shake off permanently
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Old 07-01-2019, 05:49 PM
 
3,062 posts, read 1,563,443 times
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If you know more about style than me, then these might be basic concepts for you. I hope you find them helpful.

Quote:
Originally Posted by chiluvr1228 View Post
How do I find that site? I would love to see if I'm doing things right with my personal style.
Justine Leconte's "Find your style"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?reload=9&v=AP9EiAFe7Pw

She has some YouTubers she follows. So far I have been following Audrey Coyne. Her style does not fit mine exactly but I like her tips in "How to look better in your clothes."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wVB1fEkjixU
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Old 07-02-2019, 05:45 AM
 
Location: SW Florida
10,280 posts, read 4,859,674 times
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Thank you Elyn02. I'm going to watch them right now.
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Old 07-02-2019, 02:19 PM
 
Location: Southwest Washington State
21,845 posts, read 14,356,798 times
Reputation: 30697
Quote:
Originally Posted by keraT View Post
You could be my emotional twin. If I dig deep enough, most of my fashion/style related time wasted is because I feel I am not worthy enough for special treat. When the "not worthy" feeling gets overwhelming, I push out of my slump & take care of myself. Then I feel good for while but I revert back. It doesn't matter what I do, 6 months later or 1 year late I will get back to that "not worthy feeling". Mine is definitely from childhood, that is why it is so hard to shake off permanently
I know this. You just become so used to thinking, “this is not for me. I can’t have those things.” The thoughts become subconscious. You tell yourself, “I don’t need it. It is frivolous.” And if your body is not up to the current beauty standards, you feel that the search for clothes is too hard.

But, things are different now. There are more things out there for us.

I just bought two new tees from Life is Good. I like wearing their affirming statements, and their sizing is generous, and works for me.

Find your place, local retail or online, and buy from them. Treat yourself like you would a much loved relative. Be good to yourself. You only get one chance to be the age you are today.
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Old 07-02-2019, 02:25 PM
 
Location: New to Bay Area
886 posts, read 210,498 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sassybluesy View Post
Aw! Don't beat yourself up over it! Maybe buying new clothes would be more fun and rewarding if you took a friend with you?


Sometimes my sister and I would go shopping, and we'd play kind of a game. We would pick out an outfit for each other. The other person HAD to try the outfit on, but not forced to purchase the outfit.


It was really interesting to try on an outfit that you'd never have picked out for yourself, and then find out that "hey...this looks pretty good!"
I always love shopping with my friends (or my sister when I can)...but this is a really cute idea! We're going to try this next time!
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Old 07-02-2019, 09:45 PM
 
9,271 posts, read 9,220,181 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by keraT View Post
I am not a fashionable person, I am not into trend. I look like a slob most of the time yet I spent disproportional time thinking about style and fashion. I don't shop much, I am trying to me a minimalist but I was never in to constantly buying and never kept up with fashion. I always figured out "in trend" when everyone else is wearing it & impossible to avoid.

For someone who doesn't care about fashion, for someone who doesn't put too much effort in her look, for someone whose goal is to be a minimalist... why do I spent so much time on pinterest, instagram, google, shopping websites looking at clothes/accessories/etc. Lot of the things I spent my time borrowing online is:

1) Outfit ideas, specially modest summer clothes that doesn't involve blazer or anything too formal. My work place has people who wear business casual to tshirts/jeans. I try to dress more business casual but often end up in the tshirt/jeans crowd. I am also overweight with top heavy, so lot of conventional things just don't fit me right
2) Learn about fit and DIY alteration as I am overweight, top heavy & short. Sometimes I find petite large but often times I buy from regular section with full intention of altering which I never get to but I have lot of ideas saved on what I need to do
3) I hate throwing clothes away, even when they have holes on them, I look for ways I can wear them at home or for sleep or gym. The clothes get so warn out, I know I can't donate them so I end up looking online for ideas on how to upcycle. but I am terrible at clothes DIY and 99% of the ideas I tried (ok I tried 2 in last 5 years) both failed. So I don't try them but I am always looking for ways to save my rags. Also my weight goes up and down & I always shop when my weight is down so lot of my clothes are on smaller size just sitting in my closet. I am always looking for ideas on how to make them bigger, how to use them.
4) Browsing online clothing websites for new clothes, putting them in cart & then chickening out and not buying them. Few weeks later back browsing, saving and then backing off.

Its just ridiculous and I am disappointed in myself. The amount of time I spent thinking about clothes and accessories & not actually taking actions. If I was a fashionista who is always on point, this time would be so worth it. But I am not

Maybe the problem is that you need something more interesting or more gratifying to think about?

Maybe the problem is that you're doing your looking online, where you can waste time forever?

Or maybe you'd like to just stop looking like a "slob"?

Nothing wrong with wearing ratty clothes at home, especially if you like them. But go out and buy yourself a couple of nice "minimalist" items in a real store, where you'll focus on the shopping and try things on. And stop poking around online. That will make you endlessly unhappy.
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