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Old 06-28-2019, 09:05 AM
 
2,273 posts, read 1,557,690 times
Reputation: 2939

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I am not a fashionable person, I am not into trend. I look like a slob most of the time yet I spent disproportional time thinking about style and fashion. I don't shop much, I am trying to me a minimalist but I was never in to constantly buying and never kept up with fashion. I always figured out "in trend" when everyone else is wearing it & impossible to avoid.


For someone who doesn't care about fashion, for someone who doesn't put too much effort in her look, for someone whose goal is to be a minimalist... why do I spent so much time on pinterest, instagram, google, shopping websites looking at clothes/accessories/etc. Lot of the things I spent my time borrowing online is:


1) Outfit ideas, specially modest summer clothes that doesn't involve blazer or anything too formal. My work place has people who wear business casual to tshirts/jeans. I try to dress more business casual but often end up in the tshirt/jeans crowd. I am also overweight with top heavy, so lot of conventional things just don't fit me right
2) Learn about fit and DIY alteration as I am overweight, top heavy & short. Sometimes I find petite large but often times I buy from regular section with full intention of altering which I never get to but I have lot of ideas saved on what I need to do
3) I hate throwing clothes away, even when they have holes on them, I look for ways I can wear them at home or for sleep or gym. The clothes get so warn out, I know I can't donate them so I end up looking online for ideas on how to upcycle. but I am terrible at clothes DIY and 99% of the ideas I tried (ok I tried 2 in last 5 years) both failed. So I don't try them but I am always looking for ways to save my rags. Also my weight goes up and down & I always shop when my weight is down so lot of my clothes are on smaller size just sitting in my closet. I am always looking for ideas on how to make them bigger, how to use them.
4) Browsing online clothing websites for new clothes, putting them in cart & then chickening out and not buying them. Few weeks later back browsing, saving and then backing off.


Its just ridiculous and I am disappointed in myself. The amount of time I spent thinking about clothes and accessories & not actually taking actions. If I was a fashionista who is always on point, this time would be so worth it. But I am not
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Old 06-28-2019, 02:46 PM
 
6,515 posts, read 2,355,719 times
Reputation: 14962
Aw! Don't beat yourself up over it! Maybe buying new clothes would be more fun and rewarding if you took a friend with you?


Sometimes my sister and I would go shopping, and we'd play kind of a game. We would pick out an outfit for each other. The other person HAD to try the outfit on, but not forced to purchase the outfit.


It was really interesting to try on an outfit that you'd never have picked out for yourself, and then find out that "hey...this looks pretty good!"
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Old 06-29-2019, 06:33 AM
 
3,062 posts, read 1,561,536 times
Reputation: 3202
I follow a few people on youtube. One gave instructions on how to create a capsule wardrobe, which is basically figuring out your basic style and then dressing it up. I believe one tip she gave was to make sure you can layer your basic style. Right now I am shopping for my "capsule" (I don't like the word) which is light colored blue jeans, white jeans, and black jeans (no dark blue jeans). I also have tighter fitting jeans (not skinny) and bootcut jeans that have a higher waist. I have purchased t-shirts mostly and the colors have been grey, dark grey, and black that have a round neckline rather than a V-neckline. I am not even focused on colors, accessories or the additional layers.

Anyway, the reason I am sharing these specific details about the clothing is because when I followed the instructions on figuring out my style, these were the clothes I consistently wore the most. In other words, they were the most comfortable and looked best on me and I was more than likely to grab for them first. For you, it might be the V-neck shirt or low-rise jeans. I had V-neck shirts and dark blue jeans but I only wore them when I did not do laundry. Therefore, I got rid of them and will not purchase them.

Another YouTuber gave tips on how to wear those same clothes so that you focus the attention on the parts of your body that you like best. For example, I now tuck my shirt in to break the clothing at the waist line. My waist is smaller than my hips so I want the focus there. I will also break my tighter jeans right above the ankle to show that off since it is skinnier than my calf. The point is to make your style look better on you by adjusting for these details.

So when it is time to get dressed in the morning, anything you put on is supposed to look great on you and will appear effortless. You will also feel great because the clothes will be comfortable. Anyway, I hope this was helpful.
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Old 06-29-2019, 07:03 PM
 
Location: Southwest Washington State
21,832 posts, read 14,341,548 times
Reputation: 30668
Quote:
Originally Posted by keraT View Post
I am not a fashionable person, I am not into trend. I look like a slob most of the time yet I spent disproportional time thinking about style and fashion. I don't shop much, I am trying to me a minimalist but I was never in to constantly buying and never kept up with fashion. I always figured out "in trend" when everyone else is wearing it & impossible to avoid.


For someone who doesn't care about fashion, for someone who doesn't put too much effort in her look, for someone whose goal is to be a minimalist... why do I spent so much time on pinterest, instagram, google, shopping websites looking at clothes/accessories/etc. Lot of the things I spent my time borrowing online is:


1) Outfit ideas, specially modest summer clothes that doesn't involve blazer or anything too formal. My work place has people who wear business casual to tshirts/jeans. I try to dress more business casual but often end up in the tshirt/jeans crowd. I am also overweight with top heavy, so lot of conventional things just don't fit me right
2) Learn about fit and DIY alteration as I am overweight, top heavy & short. Sometimes I find petite large but often times I buy from regular section with full intention of altering which I never get to but I have lot of ideas saved on what I need to do
3) I hate throwing clothes away, even when they have holes on them, I look for ways I can wear them at home or for sleep or gym. The clothes get so warn out, I know I can't donate them so I end up looking online for ideas on how to upcycle. but I am terrible at clothes DIY and 99% of the ideas I tried (ok I tried 2 in last 5 years) both failed. So I don't try them but I am always looking for ways to save my rags. Also my weight goes up and down & I always shop when my weight is down so lot of my clothes are on smaller size just sitting in my closet. I am always looking for ideas on how to make them bigger, how to use them.
4) Browsing online clothing websites for new clothes, putting them in cart & then chickening out and not buying them. Few weeks later back browsing, saving and then backing off.


Its just ridiculous and I am disappointed in myself. The amount of time I spent thinking about clothes and accessories & not actually taking actions. If I was a fashionista who is always on point, this time would be so worth it. But I am not
There is a whole darning community online. For repairs, you could learn to do hand darning. Many of the darns I am seeing are decorative.

But buying clothes that donít fitódonít do that. I used to buy things with the intention of losing weight, but having this wonderful garment hanging in my closet as an in incentive did not work for me.

Spending time looking at clothing and style websites must be serving a purpose for you. So, what do you think you are getting out of doing that?

I do know how frustrating it is to have a non standard figure. All of my life Iíve had fewer choices, fewer places to go to find clothes, and low self esteem because of my perceived deficiencies. But all around you now the body positivity movement is happening. Visit those sites online.

Treat yourself with love and compassion. If you need clothing, buy it. Find your best colors, and wear them. Learn how to do makeup. Buy new underwear. Act like you are worth it, because if you do not feel your worth, then no one else will either. This is the hard lesson I have had to learn. For most of my life, Iíve felt as if I was not worth treating especially well. I think I got that message beginning in childhood, and it stuck.

Donít be like I was. If you order clothes and they donít fit, return them. Try again with a different size. Of course you can always consult the size charts before you order.

You have been posting about this stuff for a long time. It is obvious you are not happy being the way you are. So try being good to yourself now. Buy what you need. Buy what you like. And get on with living your life.
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Old 06-30-2019, 07:15 AM
 
Location: SW Florida
10,278 posts, read 4,852,828 times
Reputation: 21661
Quote:
Originally Posted by elyn02 View Post
I follow a few people on youtube. One gave instructions on how to create a capsule wardrobe, which is basically figuring out your basic style and then dressing it up. I believe one tip she gave was to make sure you can layer your basic style. Right now I am shopping for my "capsule" (I don't like the word) which is light colored blue jeans, white jeans, and black jeans (no dark blue jeans). I also have tighter fitting jeans (not skinny) and bootcut jeans that have a higher waist. I have purchased t-shirts mostly and the colors have been grey, dark grey, and black that have a round neckline rather than a V-neckline. I am not even focused on colors, accessories or the additional layers.

Anyway, the reason I am sharing these specific details about the clothing is because when I followed the instructions on figuring out my style, these were the clothes I consistently wore the most. In other words, they were the most comfortable and looked best on me and I was more than likely to grab for them first. For you, it might be the V-neck shirt or low-rise jeans. I had V-neck shirts and dark blue jeans but I only wore them when I did not do laundry. Therefore, I got rid of them and will not purchase them.

Another YouTuber gave tips on how to wear those same clothes so that you focus the attention on the parts of your body that you like best. For example, I now tuck my shirt in to break the clothing at the waist line. My waist is smaller than my hips so I want the focus there. I will also break my tighter jeans right above the ankle to show that off since it is skinnier than my calf. The point is to make your style look better on you by adjusting for these details.

So when it is time to get dressed in the morning, anything you put on is supposed to look great on you and will appear effortless. You will also feel great because the clothes will be comfortable. Anyway, I hope this was helpful.
How do I find that site? I would love to see if I'm doing things right with my personal style.
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Old 06-30-2019, 09:04 AM
 
Location: Norfolk, VA
6,371 posts, read 5,991,738 times
Reputation: 3552
Why are you resisting? Just give in, enjoy life. Be true to who you are.
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Old 06-30-2019, 02:17 PM
 
Location: High Desert New Mexico
59 posts, read 12,746 times
Reputation: 73
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sassybluesy View Post
Aw! Don't beat yourself up over it! Maybe buying new clothes would be more fun and rewarding if you took a friend with you?


Sometimes my sister and I would go shopping, and we'd play kind of a game. We would pick out an outfit for each other. The other person HAD to try the outfit on, but not forced to purchase the outfit.


It was really interesting to try on an outfit that you'd never have picked out for yourself, and then find out that "hey...this looks pretty good!"
Sassybluesy has a great idea! Make shopping fun. Try to bring a trusted friend with you with a similar shape if you can and preferably whose fashion style you like.
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Old 06-30-2019, 05:34 PM
 
3,597 posts, read 3,159,121 times
Reputation: 10738
Is it possibly a lack of self confidence that keeps you from buying these clothes that you look at. You may see something you like, but you think it is too daring or that you won't carry it off?

I like the idea of having a friend to help you shop. Or maybe a visit with a stylist who will help you get the look you need and the fit you want.

I've found a great seamstress here locally. Watching what she can do with a pretty outfit so that it fits better has been inspiring.
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Old 06-30-2019, 05:43 PM
 
Location: Southwest Washington State
21,832 posts, read 14,341,548 times
Reputation: 30668
Ha, ha. Shopping as fun. Shopping for clothes is a royal pain.

But you have to do it from time to time.

Although I did enjoy shopping with my sis recently.

OP, if you do shop with a companion, choose a happy, supportive person.
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Old 07-01-2019, 02:05 PM
 
2,273 posts, read 1,557,690 times
Reputation: 2939
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sassybluesy View Post
Aw! Don't beat yourself up over it! Maybe buying new clothes would be more fun and rewarding if you took a friend with you?

Sometimes my sister and I would go shopping, and we'd play kind of a game. We would pick out an outfit for each other. The other person HAD to try the outfit on, but not forced to purchase the outfit.

It was really interesting to try on an outfit that you'd never have picked out for yourself, and then find out that "hey...this looks pretty good!"
I actually have gone shopping with a close friend & I had positive and negative experience. The positive experience was when I went with a friend who is similar in look/size to me & so she understood the challenge & I went for 1 specific item: coat shopping. The mall is huge & it helps to focus on specific area. Loved her input and she brought out styles I wouldn't consider.


The negative experience was when I went shopping with a friend who is totally different body style than me & she could not understand why I was so picky. We also did not have anything specific in mind which made it very unproductive and somewhat frustrating.
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