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Old 12-22-2020, 01:26 PM
 
Location: Fort Lauderdale, Florida
11,936 posts, read 13,053,397 times
Reputation: 27078

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Quote:
Originally Posted by moongirl00 View Post
The flowy dresses do work on me too. Jeans are a problem because if they are big enough to fit around my butt they are usually too loose in the waist and they start to sag and I get a baggy butt which is very unattractive. I guess I can use a belt. But they also are often too long and also baggy around the lower leg area and then it looks like I'm wearing misfitted clothes.

Dark jeggings will probably be a solution though. I've got it solved if I can dress up a bit in a flowy dress or skirt but if I'm going hiking or just want a more casual look, I will have to do jeans.
Invest in a pair of Good American jeans. They are made for women with butts and smaller waists.
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Old 12-22-2020, 01:42 PM
 
Location: Pittsburgh
29,696 posts, read 34,240,753 times
Reputation: 76906
Quote:
Originally Posted by Threestep2 View Post
OP is not auditioning for a part in a Disney cartoon. Pink stockings? 1980s or adult lingerie store?
Right, a hot pink skirt with pink tights is something that would be cute on a toddler, not a 40-something woman.
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Old 12-22-2020, 06:17 PM
 
Location: Phoenix, AZ
20,325 posts, read 14,547,380 times
Reputation: 39258
We saw the "you are doubting yourself so much" and overthinking accusation, and now my own pet answer to many of your threads, Moongirl, (please imagine me fondly smiling and laughing at you like a friend, in a gentle way, I'm not being critical or jerky in my tone here, k?) ...it sure seems to me that you do a lot of asking how to communicate something, without having to talk about it. You know what I think about that, right?

OK enough of that, let's talk clothes.

I definitely agree with one sentiment that you brushed up against. Much like job interviews, I've found that on first dates, if I've done something that isn't typical for me and it's not comfortable, I'm gonna be more nervous and I won't come off the way I want to. I just won't be smooth and witty and good company. I'll be too busy fussing about my clothes or my hair. Hell, I might even have an unfortunate armpit sweat situation. All from dressing it up to a point that does not feel comfortable. That's not good.

So I've cultivated looks for those kinds of situations that work with the setting, but don't make me feel that way. And maybe more importantly, I don't do anything unusual with my hair, I don't wear makeup (I typically don't, and I find it uncomfortable) and I wear shoes that don't hurt. Beyond that, it's a question of context, how formal the setting is for instance, and which "me" I feel like being that day.

I can pull off "cute hippie chick" really well so that boho stuff rocks on me. I've got really long, wavy hippie hair that is parted in the middle and round glasses, so if I feel like being soft and gently pretty I do the long flowy skirts and such. Target has a brand I like, called Knox Rose, I've found some very nice "boho" style garments there. I have several pretty long gauzy scarves, I might throw on one of those. I have some form fitting ribbed turtlenecks that I can wear with layers, and give myself a "librarian" look. And believe it or not, at some point I decided to give a big middle finger to anyone who says I can't wear whatever I want even if it's a fashion from my gothy teen years, and I got some old pairs of Tripp pants. I've got a few pairs that are very loose fitting (not quite JNCO level bagginess, but baggy) though I pulled off the chains and straps, they have zippers and laces and metal doodads and stuff, and I will wear those with combat boots and a black metal band t shirt.

Yes, to a first date. With no makeup.

Actually I'm pretty sure I was wearing that the night I met my husband.

But for the most part, the impression I intend to make is going to happen in conversation or not at all. I don't ask my clothes to speak for me. I only ask that they cover me comfortably and do not distract me from talking to a (hopefully) interesting person. That is the one thing that I feel must be avoided at all costs. Clothing that makes you uncomfortable or nervous in any way. Rule numero uno.
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Old 12-23-2020, 07:09 AM
 
Location: A Yankee in northeast TN
16,010 posts, read 21,025,382 times
Reputation: 43411
Jeans only look frumpy if they are ill fitting or paired with a frumpy top. Having said that...
OP I'm going to suggest you visit Torrid's business casual for ideas. My boss is close to your age and is a very curvy woman. She pulls together some cute casual outfits that would work just as well for your average date night, without being frumpy or too sexy. https://www.torrid.com/clothing/workwear-collection/
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