Women who shave everything down there: Permanent or Trend? (shoulders, girl, wax)

[nanannie]

Thirty pages. I dont think this subject has ever been so thoroughly disected.
I vote different strokes, and file this whole novel under
Personal Choice.

[formercalifornian]

I find it a bit disturbing that an above poster knows his/her mother waxes or shaves all of her pubic hair. Is it just me? Or do others also think that's more information than a mother and child should share?

[momof2dfw]

I know I've shared this somewhere on C-D before and thought it would be good to pass on again. FYI, this is NOT me. I've never attempted self-waxing, I leave that to the professionals while I just chill and not think about it.

_________________________________________________

My night began as any other normal weeknight. Come home, fix dinner, play with the kids. I then had the thought that would ring painfully in my mind for the next few hours: 'Maybe I should pull the waxing kit out of the medicine cabinet.'


So I headed to the site of my demise: the bathroom. It was one of those 'cold wax' kits. No melting a clump of hot wax, you just rub the strips together in your hand, they get warm and you peel them apart and press them to your leg (or wherever else) and you pull the hair right off.

No muss, no fuss. How hard can it be? I mean, I'm not a genius, but I am mechanically inclined enough to figure this out. (YA THINK!?!)

So I pull one of the thin strips out. Its two strips facing each other stuck together. Instead of rubbing them together, my genius kicks in so I get out the

hair dryer and heat it to 1000 degrees. ('Cold wax,' yeah...right!) I lay the strip across my thigh. Hold the skin aroung it tight and pull. It works!!

OK, so it wasn't the best feeling, but it wasn't too bad. I can do this! Hair removal no longer eludes me! I am She-rah, fighter of all wayward body hair and maker of smooth skin extraordinaire.

With my next wax strip I move north. After checking on the kids, I sneak back into the bathroom, for the ultimate hair fighting championship. I drop my panties and place one foot on the toilet.

Using the same procedure, I apply the wax strip across the right side of my bikini line, covering the right half of my hoo-ha and stretching down to the inside of my butt cheek (it was a long strip).

I inhale deeply and brace myself ......RRRIIIIPPPP!!!!!!!

I'm blind!!! Blinded from pain!!!!......OH MY GAWD!!!!!!!!!!!

Vision returning, I notice that I've only managed to pull off half the strip. CRAP!!!! Another deep breath and RIPP!! Everything is spinning and spotted.

I think I may pass out...must stay conscious...must stay conscious. Do I hear crashing drums???? Breathe, breathe...OK, back to normal.

I want to see my trophy - a wax covered strip, the one that has caused me so much pain, with my hairy pelt sticking to it. I want to revel in the glory that is my triumph over body hair. I hold up the strip!

There's no hair on it! Where's the hair??? WHERE IS THE WAX????

Slowly I ease my head down, foot still perched on the toilet. I see the hair. The hair that should be on the strip...it's not! I touch. I am touching wax.

I run my fingers over the most sensitive part of my body, which is now covered in cold wax and matted hair. Then I make the next BIG mistake... remember my foot is still propped upon the toilet? I know I need to do something. So I put my foot down.

Sealed shut! My butt is sealed shut! Sealed shut! I penguin walk around the bathroom trying to figure out what to do and think to myself ' Please don't let me get the urge to poop, My head may pop off!' What can I do to melt the wax?

Hot water!!! Hot water melts wax!! I'll run the hottest water I can stand into the bathtub, get in, immerse the wax-covered bits and the wax should melt and I can gently wipe it off, right???

WRONG!!!!

I get in the tub- the water is slightly hotter than that used to torture prisoners of war or sterilize surgical equipment - I sit.

Now, the only thing worse than having your nether regions glued together, is having them glued together and then glued to the bottom of the tub... in scalding hot water. Which, by the way, doesn't melt the cold wax.

So, now I'm stuck to the bottom of the tub as though I had cemented myself to the porcelain!!! God bless the man who had convinced me a few months ago to have a phone put in the bathroom!!!!!!

I call my friend, thinking surely she has waxed before and has some secret of how to get me undone. It's a very good conversation starter 'So, my butt and hoo-ha are glued together to the bottom of the tub!'

There is a slight pause. She doesn't know any secret tricks for removal but she does try to hide her laughter from me. She wants to know exactly where the wax is located, 'Are we talking cheeks, inbetween or hoo-ha?'

She's laughing out loud by now...I can hear her. I give her the rundown and she suggests I call the number on the side of the box.

YEAH!!!!! Right! I should be the joke of someone else's night. While we go through various solutions, I resort to trying to scrape the wax off with a razor. Nothing feels better than to have your girlie goodies covered in hot wax, glued shut, stuck to the tub in super hot water and then dry-shaving the sticky wax off!! By now the brain is not working, dignity has taken a major hike and I'm pretty sure I'm going to need Post-Traumatic Stress counseling for this event.

My friend is still talking with me when I finally see my saving grace....the lotion they give you to remove the excess wax.

What do I really have to lose at this point? I rub some on and OH MY GOD!!!!!! The scream probably woke the kids and scared the dickens out of my friend. It's soooo painful, but I really don't care. 'IT WORKS!!!!'

It works! I get a hearty congratulations from my friend and she hangs up. I successfully remove the remainder of the wax and then notice to my grief and despair...THE HAIR IS STILL HERE....ALL OF IT!!!!!

So I recklessly shave it off. Heck, I'm numb by now. Nothing hurts.

I could have amputated my own leg at this point.

Next week I'm going to try hair color........

[formercalifornian]

OMG! I'm laughing so hard that tears are running down my face.

[gallowsCalibrator]

Originally Posted by formercalifornian

OMG! I'm laughing so hard that tears are running down my face.

Me: *laughing hysterically*
Supervisor: What's so funny?
Me: Just reading the story about a woman who cold-waxed her butt shut then stuck it to the bathtub. *more laughter*
Supervisor:

Originally Posted by HappyDaysCopenhagenSkoal

I love women to the death, but they drive me NUTS over some of the things that go through their little heads.

Really? ((You shouldn't talk about yourself like that))

I'm pretty sure that any rational person would come to the conclusion that the grooming of one's pubes is all up to personal choice.

In my case, I don't like the feel of The Lost Jungle - never have, never will. It looks gross popping out of my bikinis. It feels gross getting shifted around by underwear. As a result, I leave a little bit for flare and the rest goes bye-bye. Nothing sexual, no pressure, no nothing.

And if my husband is a "pedophile" because he likes it like that, then I'm a pedophile for enjoying his grooming habits. So be it.

[momof2dfw]

Originally Posted by formercalifornian

OMG! I'm laughing so hard that tears are running down my face.

It is one of THOSE. LOL!!! I laugh every time I read this one. I have to keep it on file as it is so funny. Try reading it aloud to someone. I had to read it to DH the first time and I couldn't as I was laughing so stinkin hard and my eyes were watering so much I couldn't see the words.

[sandycat]

Originally Posted by formercalifornian

I find it a bit disturbing that an above poster knows his/her mother waxes or shaves all of her pubic hair. Is it just me? Or do others also think that's more information than a mother and child should share?

Oh please. First of all, I'm nearly 40, hardly a child. And we just recently had this conversation a few weeks ago. It's not a big deal and you don't need to be disturbed by it. It wasn't perverse, inappropriate, or anything. It was just a conversation between two adults.

[sandycat]

LOL on the hot wax story. That was a good one.

[formercalifornian]

Point taken. Apparently, my mom and I have more boundaries, because that conversation would make me a bit queasy, and I can only imagine that it would horrify my mother. That's a subject I wouldn't touch, even as a forty-something myself. Furthermore, I used the term child to describe a relationship between two people, not because I assumed you were a particular age.

[momof2dfw]

Originally Posted by formercalifornian

Point taken. Apparently, my mom and I have more boundaries, because that conversation would make me a bit queasy, and I can only imagine that it would horrify my mother. That's a subject I wouldn't touch, even as a forty-something myself. Furthermore, I used the term child to describe a relationship between two people, not because I assumed you were a particular age.

Some people can discuss such with their moms and there are older ladies I know that are my moms age that I'd rather discuss this with than MY MOTHER! And it's not because she is my mother (I'm 40+) it is just cause she........ well, just cause. I'll never forget one time while home from college my sis and I were watching a movie w/ mom and they said, "bj" in it. She looked at us and asked, "what is a bj". My sis and I looked at each other with this knowing look and both turned back to her and just shrugged our shoulders and said, "I don't know". We both knew it was just something we didn't want to discuss with HER.