Flagstaff - Husband Says Yes - I Say No (crime rate, house prices)

[nowannamove]

My husband wants to move the family to Flagstaff, Arizona. I am very opposed to this for many reasons. He, on the other-hand, has reasons that he wants to move. I am interested in your feedback to see if our perceptions of Flagstaff are accurate.

My husband wants to move for the following reasons. I think that he is misguided in his thinking:

1. We currently live in a small, conservative, yet very posh retirement city in Florida. He thinks it is too conservative here, so he wants to move to a 'funky' collegetown like Flagstaff.

2. He thinks that Flagstaff is pretty and outdoorsy.

3. We bought our house at the top of the market and can't sell it. The company that is looking at him has a house buying option. But even if they buy our house we will still have to come up with $20K, because we are upside down due to the realestate crash here. So in essence the only thing the company in Flagstaff is doing for us is paying our moving expenses (which we would not incur if we did not move) and paying our realtor fees - that means about $25K pop - big deal, that isn't worth disrupting my kid's lives for.

4. He thinks the company is 'cool' and that he will be happier there. I think he is in fantasy land. ALL companies have warts. We moved here to Florida three years ago because he was chasing this same dream of more money and a more exciting company.

I do not want to move, and here are my reasons:

1. I have been to Flagstaff and I think it is a dirty, run-down poor looking town. And yes, I did go to the 'trendy' downtown area to eat. I was not impressed, if that is all the town has to offer.

2. There are no jobs in Flagstaff for me. What the heck would I do?

3. Flagstaff has a substantially higher violent crime rate per capita than where I live. Particularly the Rape and Aggravated Assault rates. In fact their violent crime rate per capita is higher than the national average.

4. Flagstaff is f'n cold as heck. I prefer our hot sunny climate.

5. The houses in Flagstaff are more expensive than they are here. And there are less jobs in Flagstaff, more crime in Flagstaff, and it is a much less attractive city in my opinion. Why would houses be so expensive in such an unattractive town? It just doesn't make sense. IF we moved there I don't want to spend any more than 450K on a house. I don't think I can get much for 450K in Flagstaff. Here for that price you get a newer 2400 square foot house with vaulted cielings, 4 bedrooms, three baths, pool, landscaping, and nice neighborhood.

6. I have heard that there is a serious water issue in Flagstaff.

7. A big issue is that I have two teenage boys and I don't want to disrupt their lives, particularly to move to a city with such a high crime rate per capita and with such little opportunity. I don't see any payoff here other than the lousy $25k pop we would get up front from the company.

I just went on a three month cross country trip this past summer, and of all the cities we visited, Flagstaff was the dirtiest and the biggest disappointment. I just cant imagine why in the world my husband wants to move there.

If you think flagstaff is paradise and I'm full of crud, then please tell me how this is so given the crime, dirtiness and low opportunity in the city.

If you think that flagstaff is a yucky place to move and have something to add, then please tell me that as well.

[ZonyPony]

Methinx you need to be in agreement with your husband - not with US...

[jaada]

dirty? no not the flagstaff i know it is very clean and beautiful with all the trees and high elevation. now if you like the city life then no flagstaff is not for you. high crime? never heard of it there, i have heard of some crime but not high crime, i have heard of a drug problem there but drugs are a problem everywhere, and so is crime. you wont find a city with zero crime anywhere. yes it gets cold there very very cold. i hope you find what your looking for.

[The French Maid]

From someone that lived in Flagstaff for 2 years.... everything you said is 100 percent TRUE. In fact, I was laughing at the "dirty" town part.. so TRUE!

I couldn't wait to get out of there.....

[ZonyPony]

At the risk of repeating myself...

Methinx you need to be in agreement with your husband - not with US...

THAT's what marriage is supposed to be about. If you guys are having a marital spat, this forum is no place to air out your "dirty" laundry.

[Gretchen B]

Originally Posted by ZonyPony

Methinx you need to be in agreement with your husband - not with US...

Would there really be anything that anybody would say that would make a difference? Kind of sounds to me like your mind is made up and you're looking for ammunition to show your husband that others agree with your impressions of Flagstaff.

ZonyPony hit the nail on the head. A town has to be the right town for you and your husband - it really doesn't matter what anybody else thinks. And different people see different things in a town. What one person loves and thinks is quaint and friendly, another person will loathe and think it to be old-fashioned with a lot of nosy, intrusive neighbors.

Hopefully you and your husband can find a town with the kind of character that appeals to both of you. From your post it sounds like you would be miserable in Flagstaff; however most of the people I know really like the town. The exception seems to be folks from the east coast - Flag just doesn't seem to have the same appeal for them.

[nowannamove]

I think that some may have misunderstood my post. NO I am not looking for ammunition. YES I do not want to move. I don't want to move at all, but especially I don't want to move to any city in Arizona. TRUE my husband and I are in total disagreement. It would be great if my husband and I could be in total agreement, but the fact is that he will probably force the move upon me and my two children.

I think that my opinion is far to one side and his is far to the other. I think that we are both being very biased. I'm looking for folks who live there to share with me their comments about cleanliness of city, crime, jobs, schools, etc. If the city is not dirty, where are these clean neighborhoods? What are their names? Where are the good schools? Where are the jobs? etc... that is what I want to know...specifics.... If I'm forced to move to Flagstaff i want to know what I'll be dealing with.

I've looked at the numbers, now I'm looking for info from residents.

To the person who commented on crime. I'm not making it up. Flagstaffs crime rate per capita is outrageous compared to where I currently live. but you say you have not seen crime? Is the crime limited to certain neighborhoods? if so what neighborhoods?

I am not a big city person nor am I originally from the East Coast. We currently live in a small, wealthy city in Florida. I like it here. My husband does not. And, more important, my kids like it here. My oldest is a junior in highschool and I think it is a crime to force him to move at this point in his life, particularly since my husband already has a good job here where we live.

[Empidonax]

How do the kids feel about the move? How does your husband feel about staying where you are? How does he feel about moving to a place where he alone may be happier, but you and perhaps your kids aren't so happy? It sounds like this has to be a collective family decision, not a decision made by any single person. Both sides will have a list of points to support an argument, but this decision goes beyond that--it's about communication and really discussing the pros and cons in depth. But if you're staunchly opposed, you all will have to weigh the idea of you being miserable with your family in a new place. Is that something they're willing to handle?

[UTorCO?]

Sounds like you don't want to disrupt your life, period. I don't think finding out Flagstaff had zero crime (not that it does) would make you want to move. You don't like cold, you think it's an ugly town, it's expensive, there aren't a lot of jobs. How would others' opinions about the town change your mind? Even if people come on here raving about how fabulous it is, it doesn't change the reasons you don't like it.

You and hubbie need to work it out. Maybe pick a different job in a different town since, at least from your post, I get the feeling you are not going to come around and love this idea no matter what is said. Or wait til your kids graduate. I don't know--it's an "internal issue" you need to work out with him

[rich67]

I'd have to also agree with everyone else. And, in a way, I'd have to side with you- but not for the reasons you cite about Flagstaff. It's a difficult thing to do, uproot a family and move across country to a whole new place, schools, etc.
It's especially difficult if that move will include a financial burden.
I think what I'd like to ask is this: if your husband is so willing to make this major move, what is the incentive this job is offering him? I mean, is he going to be making a tremendous amount of money that would make this move a financially sound idea? If he is moving for several thousand extra a year, then he's obviously just burned out in his job and hates the area you live in Florida.
If the money and benefits are substantial, and you guys can live like kings in Flagstaff, then maybe he is looking more along the lines of providing a good life for his family.
However, I think that this move, if it is forced upon you and the kids, can be a marriage-breaking issue. Either you end up moving out there and don't think its that bad, and life goes on- or you end up hating it with a passion and get pissed at him for forcing you to relocate and end up resenting him for the rest of your life-eventually ending the whole mess in a divorce. Sorry to be blunt, but there ya go.
But MAYBE-just MAYBE...you need to appeal to a sense of adventure- look at it like a cool thing to do- tell the kids you're moving where there are mountains and they can learn to ski, where there is hiking and outdoor activities galore, and you're close to big mountains and beautiful lakes.
Do you have a job right now? I'm just curious because you were talking about what you would do out in Flag, but I'm curious if you are even working currently and what you are doing for a living.
Lastly, let me pose this to you. Florida (where I live as well) is really a lousy state as well. Crime is through the roof everywhere, the economy is miserable, house prices are down and it's humid and FLAT...I mean, there is not a hill or a mountian anywhere. The only thing this state has going for it is beaches. That's it. I understand you are comfortable where you are, but I'd jump at a chance to leave this godforsaken state and try someplace new. It's hit or miss, but...adventure can be a great thing.
From the tone of your original post, I sense animosity already between you and your husband. It seems like you are still irritated by him wanting to move to Florida to "follow a dream"... and other references to his perception of "funky" "cool" and "college town". I'd say you two need to have a serious heart-to-heart and you need to voice some concerns to him. If he refuses to see eye to eye with you, then you need to do one of two things: suck it up, support him because he's your husband and you love him, and you want to experience different things in life or...tell him he's acting like a child and you refuse to uproot the kids, and tell him if he wants to move then he's on his own.