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Old 03-10-2011, 10:48 PM
16,992 posts, read 20,625,960 times
Reputation: 33961


You need to put your child's needs first. When you become a parent that is what you do.

You also need to look at your CA experience(which did not work out) and be realistic. You're very young and you have a child. To be in strange place where you know no one could be very depressing, and if you run into a problem you're own your own.

The salaries here are very low, a CNA makes around $9 an hour working in a nursing home or hospital.

And when you present your situation( and yours is a pretty tough situation) people are going to comment.

You have never even been to FL. The winters and spring are great, the summer which starts in May and goes through October is brutal.

And while 45K may sound like a lot of money, it really isn't. It could be gone living carefully in less than two years.

You may not have liked what Sheltie166 said but there was a lot of truth in that.

Part of being an adult is listening to other viewpoints. She just pointed things out that you really need to think about.

Good luck with whatever you decide.
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Old 03-11-2011, 05:16 AM
Location: Full time in the RV
2,865 posts, read 6,392,309 times
Reputation: 2420
Now that you have desribed your situation better makes it easier to give advice.

Seain is right on point. You have to keep an open mind when posting here. A good majority of folks here are going to be older than you with perspectives they bring from their life experiences. I'm one of them. You wanted more positive responses but there isn't much positive in your situation.

You originally asked for school locations. Any of the schools will be fine except housing costs can vary from area to area. All the areas around schools will have student apartments around them.

I, too moved to Florida (from PA) when I was 19 to continue school. I did not have family here but I was not a parent and I knew my parents were going to move to FL in a few years (and they did).

That said, let's work on the positive and negatives:

-You'll have $35K. That puts you way ahead of most who move here.
-You are determined to continue your education which is a good thing.
-You might be able to transfer your job. This would be a big plus.
-If your grandmother moves with you that will help.
-You are planning ahead.

-That 45K will go fast. You'll need child care when you are working and in school. Whatever you earn at your job won't cover all your expenses.
-You'll be paying out of state tutiton for the first year at state schools. How are you planning on paying for school?
-I never heard of subsidized child care in FL. It might exist, but don't count on it. The governor is slashing the social services budget, along with everything else right now.
-Unless grandma moves you'll have no family support. At least now you have some.
-You've never lived on your own and you want that first step to be 1000 miles away.

Finally your posts have some of the red flags that are common here on this forum:

-You want to move because of the weather.
-You "feel like you belong" in Florida.
-You "need a new start".

Florida is not a cheap place to live. It's not a good "start over" state. People get mesmerized by the palm trees and nice weather. Sunshine doesn't pay the bills.

Why didn't LA work out?
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Old 03-11-2011, 05:41 AM
21,144 posts, read 30,256,425 times
Reputation: 19514
Originally Posted by daydai View Post
I am currently living in Indy and goin to IUPUI here. I do not like it. I mean its great in the summer but im just ready to get away. I have no family here but my mother and the father of my child.
Last year a friend of mine and I decided we were going to move to LA and go to school there. Well that didnt work out and we were back in Indy within months. I am kind of glad I didnt stay because I dont know if that was really my place. But for some reason I just feel like I belong in FL.
I wanted to go out of state for college but i did have my son right before the first semester so i stayed home.
So basically I want to relocate and I think I will be ready in a year or two. I am also currently working on some settlement money from an accident. I have a job at a warehouse now but i am studying nursing and am thinking about home health care aid (nurse).
I have researched a lil on Gainesville and Jacksonville. I would like somewhere with a good university/college and schools and daycares(if you know),safe neighborhoods, fun things to do, it can be at least 1 hour from the beach (preferably), affordable housing especially for a college student like me with a baby boy. I have never been to Florida and never been on my own so I dont know where to start. Ill be 20 this yr btw.
The OP didn't ask for a mass pile-on of opinions. She asked where a good location for school would be, about safe neighborhoods, fun things to do and affordable housing. The purpose of this forum is to help, not throw about worthless advice from wannabe Dr. Phils. If some of you can't control your desire to belittle and condemn, you ought to move on to a place where that's welcome.
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Old 03-11-2011, 05:49 AM
Location: Metro Atlanta
568 posts, read 1,772,355 times
Reputation: 514
Default In defense of those with critical advice

In defense of those with critical advice ... I don't believe that you can ignore the person's situation, even though she is asking a different question.

For example, if I asked the question, "I would like to stick a fork into an outlet to see what happens -- should I use a fork or a knife?" ... I would hope that someone would give my advice about how that wouldn't be a good idea in the first place.

Seeing as how both you and your child are young, and your only support group right now is in Indy, you need to hang tight in Indy for a little while until you better have your feet on the ground. Go to school there, earn some credits, determine later whether you really want to move or transfer. You're still young and have plenty of time to move to FL if that is ultimately your goal.

You're also overlooking the fact that you would pay out of state tuition in FL if you moved and enrolled somewhere.
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Old 03-11-2011, 06:47 AM
21,144 posts, read 30,256,425 times
Reputation: 19514
Originally Posted by JAS View Post
In defense of those with critical advice ... I don't believe that you can ignore the person's situation, even though she is asking a different question.
Actually yes you can if the advice is unsolicited. The OP once again didn't ask for lifestyle critique, rather relocation advice. Like the old saying goes, "If you have nothing nice to say..."
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Old 03-11-2011, 07:11 AM
Location: Tampa, FL
2,164 posts, read 1,390,814 times
Reputation: 1975
I moved to FL when I was 20, and even without a child, it was difficult. After living in New England my whole life, it was like moving to a new country. My child is 20 now and I can't imagine her trying to do what you are trying to do. I wish all the best for you, sweetie.

My advice is to have your grandmother move with you, if you decide to come here. I live near Tampa, and I'll tell you I didn't want to raise my child there. Crime rates have improved, but there are still many problems.

USF in Tampa is well-attended, but they have many problems: with parking, for instance.They sell 17 parking permits for every physical parking space. My kid drives around in circles for up to 15 mins looking for a space. A lot of the classes are taught by grad students, not professors, which angers me, because we thought we were paying for professionals to teach, not those who are still learning.

We have friends who go to FSU in Tallahassee, and they seem to like it a lot. I don't have specifics on how the school is there.

Yes, the weather is nice most the time, but it does still get cold here. It was 60 when I woke today, but after living here for over 20 years, I can tell you that 60 becomes cold! Everything is relative. Oh, and I simply love Ocala. If we ever move from here, I'd love to live there. It's a beautiful town.

I'm sorry you had to read some things that were hurtful here. I too worry about some of the things brought up. It's hard when you move out of state. When I moved here, the first thing I did was make sure I always had $ to fly home. Kept it in a savings acc't so if things didn't work out here, or there was a death in the family, I could get home. That's important for your emotional well-being, to know you can always get out. Having an emergency acc't has been part of my life since then, and I can tell you that it's worth it for the peace of mind it gives.

I hope this was helpful, and I wish you & your boyfriend & baby all the best.
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Old 03-11-2011, 09:33 AM
16,992 posts, read 20,625,960 times
Reputation: 33961
Originally Posted by kyle19125 View Post
Actually yes you can if the advice is unsolicited. The OP once again didn't ask for lifestyle critique, rather relocation advice. Like the old saying goes, "If you have nothing nice to say..."
Someone who is thinking of moving across country to a place they have never even been as a single parent with an infant needs to hear some truths.

I get very tired of what I call the "Florida Cheerleaders" who don't address things like financial issues. They talk about the beaches and warm weather, anyone who actually lives here knows that you still have to pay your bills.

Waving people on down without bringing up issues like the economy, the cost of living, and some realities is careless.

For example the OP said she is currently getting assistance in Indiana for child care costs.

OK, she moves to FL and she is not a resident. So what happens with child care assistance?

Rick Scott has already stated he cutting social programs.

Is she aware of who Rick Scott is and how he plans on cutting the budget?

Does the OP being a student, a mom, and not living in FL even know what this state is going through. Doubtful, she has never even stepped foot in FL.

She says her grandmother may come with her. OK. Well how old is grandma? How is her health?

Also if grandma if she is in good health may not want to be the full time babysitter. She may want to enjoy FL for herself.

Has that be discussed or it the OP assuming grandma will be the unpaid nanny?

The OP already had a failed move to CA. I hate to see someone with a child that they are responsible for do something foolish.

She would be better off finishing her education in Indiana and trying to put most of her settlement into savings.

When her child is older she could revisit the idea of moving to FL.

Hopefully some of these posts will get her thinking about the reality of this move.
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Old 03-11-2011, 10:04 AM
817 posts, read 1,921,663 times
Reputation: 993
Originally Posted by RMD3819 View Post
Unless you are getting gazillions in that settlement stay where you are.

You'll need family support. Moving here as a 19yo single parent with no job is not a good idea.
This answer is the best one in this thread.
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Old 03-11-2011, 10:12 AM
817 posts, read 1,921,663 times
Reputation: 993
Originally Posted by daydai View Post
I was expecting more positive feedback. I am not trying to create some fantasy where it will all be a peice of cake but I am not afraid of a new place and I need a new start. If I dont move to FL I will most likely move to Savannah, GA. I used to live there when I was young but dont have any family there now.
Daycare in IN is about the same 300 and over a week, but I get CCDF which is a goverment program that helps with daycare because Im a student and because of my income. Im sure they have similar programs in other states that could assist me until I graduate and become stable enough to pay for daycare costs with only my income.
Why do you HAVE to move anywhere?

Stay where you are. Foster a GOOD relationship with your child's father. Consider getting married to him.

Think about your child. You have brought a new person in to to this world, and that person relies on its parents 100% for EVERYTHING. Once you made the decision to have a child, your wants and needs are second. A child needs a stable, two-parent household to have the best chance at success in this life. You are talking about taking all of that away on what appears to be a whim.

Stay in Indiana. Finish your education there. Consider getting married to this man. Give your child all that YOU would have wanted as a child.

Florida will still be here when you're done with all of that.
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Old 03-12-2011, 12:17 AM
31 posts, read 162,164 times
Reputation: 25
Well first I would like to say I have kept a very open mind with some of the things said to me. Yes part of being an adult is listening to different viewpoints but part of being an adult is also not making assumptions and understanding before jumping to conclusions. A woman insulted me based off of my age and circumstances. I do not care what age you are that was ignorant to jump to stereotypes.
I always put my son first. That is why I said I will probaby be ready in a year or two probably longer, so be it. I would not make such a major move without saving up, having a job set up and feeling secure and assured that myself and my son will be okay. As for my settlement I dont plan on living off of it, it will be in savings unless needed. I appreciate everyones concerns though, you are helping me make sure I dont miss a step before moving.
You are right I have my whole life to live and I wont be wasting it in IN. I've lived in Virginia, Georgia, Wisconsin and by far I loved GA the most. Savannah was close to the ocean and I loved the year round weather so its not like I dont know anything about southern weather. The winters here actually are very depressing to me. I hate snow.
The California trip was on impulse. My best friend and her mother were moving the summer before senior year and of course I went too. Who would want to miss that opportunity? It was good until my friends mother got arrested; something to do with payments on our rental car. And everything went downhill because we were dependent on her. So my situation now,moving to FL, is completely different. Now that I think about it I dont know why I even mentioned CA because it gave you all the wrong impression.
I am studying nursing now and was thinking about home healthcare aid, not a nurses aid. And Im not stoping there I plan on continuing my education for as long as it takes to ensure financial stability. Not sure which profession specifically yet. I am still exploring different careers in the medical feild. Ocala sounds nice. How is the College of Central FL and other colleges around that area?
Grandma is in good health. She actually came up to Indy from Evansville last semester to watch my son. She loves watching her grandchildren. She wouldnt really be unpaid, I wouldnt be unfair to my grandmother.
I dont want to be so close to the ocean; an hour away would be ideal but first priority is the university in the area and schooling for my son. Im sure there are plenty of cities that fit that description and the description in my first post? To be more specific cities in northern Florida.

Last edited by daydai; 03-12-2011 at 01:10 AM..
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