Sharing a giggle, Florida style.
10. The abundance of iguanas, parrots and gators in your neighborhood refuse to work as household appliances like those seen on the Flintstone's.
9. The dog ate your last dartboard picture of Jeb Bush.
8. Your roofing contractor doesn't have enough cash for the platinum Hummer yet, so he is now wearing a tearaway face mask in your likeness and cleaning out ALL your accounts.
7. You spot Pamela Anderson at the beach removing her watch but quickly realize it's your city property tax collector cutting off a surgical bracelet, smiling oddly and looking nothing like her old self.
6. Your cardiologist no longer warns against butter, cheese and ice cream but strongly advises against opening your electric bill.
5. As a hard working 75-year-old bag boy prone to injuries, it's becoming harder and harder to keep the bleeding on your thin-skinned forearms under control.
4. You aren't singing Broadway tunes in the shower anymore but have developed a knack for groaning exactly like hurricane generators, tile cutters and chainsaws.
3. Your wife says she will leave you if you don't stop making that Death Row Killer face as you read the local paper.
2. You're starting to believe that homeless people have it made, baby!
And the Number 1 Reason to Leave Florida...
1. It's your 60th birthday and after losing your new (and newly assessed) home to property tax collectors, use of your car to gas prices and the termination of your job to payroll cuts, your parents still can't convince the staff at their assisting living facility to let you move in as a minor child.
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Top Ten Reasons to Leave Florida
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