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Old 10-23-2016, 07:58 AM
 
Location: Spring Hill Florida
12,135 posts, read 13,262,027 times
Reputation: 6010

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Quote:
Originally Posted by BucFan View Post
I've been criticized on this forum and the Tampa Bay forum for giving potential transplants looking to move to FL a strong cautionary note concerning the state. Everything the OP posted is an accurate description of common complaints people have after moving here.

I can't blame her. Many of us have similar complaints.


The thing is it seems that the boilerplate, complain about everything posts usually come from first time posters.

I find it strange that so many people run into these very common complaint situations.

Ive been in FL 28 years and the only thing I have ever found accurate is lousy drivers but its no worsen than anywhere else Ive been.

Many people seem to think that complete strangers should walk up to them and offer their friendship.
I dont know of anywhere that happens.

Ive met a whole slew of people on jobs, at social gatherings at an apartment complex, hobbyist meetings, parties, through other acquaintances, meetings of people with similar interests and other venues.

Go to places where people with similar interests are. If you're a dog owner - the doggie park. Have kids - the playground. There are groups to join. Too many possibilities to address completely here but there are organized groups for people from the same city or state, all kinds of interests have clubs or organizations. Join the Rotary Club, Lions Club, Loyal Order of the Moose and other civic organizations.

Moving to FL is no different than moving anywhere else in the world and living in FL is no different than living in any other state.

It's all out there. Embrace it, immerse yourself into it, enjoy it.
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Old 10-23-2016, 08:05 AM
 
3,558 posts, read 6,212,764 times
Reputation: 3109
Quote:
Originally Posted by BucFan View Post
I've been criticized on this forum and the Tampa Bay forum for giving potential transplants looking to move to FL a strong cautionary note concerning the state. Everything the OP posted is an accurate description of common complaints people have after moving here.

I can't blame her. Many of us have similar complaints.
Others of us have moved here and gotten along just fine and made Florida our home. 1st you have to be willing to do that. If someone complains about it not being like home to them it never will be. You have to adjust many things to get past what you did and didn't have somewhere else. We only get one life and it is up to us to make the best of it and not to rely on someone else making it or breaking it for you.

To the OP.......your husband is a teacher and has made no friends at his school? Why not? Teacher's become instant friends with other teachers in their school most of the time because of the common bond with the kids. Need to start making friends there with the other young teachers and their wives. Throw a party and invite all the teachers and get to know them. Shoot throw lots of BYOB parties if it is hard to afford paying it all yourself. Tell him to invite people he knows to watch football, basketball etc. at your house.
2. You have a child and are a stay at home mom now which makes it harder to meet people. Get out to the parks, get the child into preschool activities. Join clubs, take yoga/gymnastics or other lessons you can do together or apart and get to know a few parents through that.
3. Accept that your starting pay will not be the same as you made in Boston but it will go so much farther. No $400 gas bills plus $300 electric bills to heat your house down here. If you do well, you will get raises. $25 was low balling, though but would give you a foot in the door. Employers like to hire people who are already working because it shows whether you are a hard worker or not.
4. I know you are locked in for a year with his teacher contract, so you have to make the best of it. Instead of waking up and saying I hate it here. Wake up and say I am going to find something to love about our new life. Find a good day care that you can leave the little one so you and your husband can get out together. Going from working to being a stay at home mom is a life change you are not used to either. It gets old fast unless you can get out sometimes. Been there done that Find something you can get involved in. Volunteer in the community, the school, the town. Volunteer to work in the high school food stand at ball games. Guarantee you will meet people. Join in community planning committees and volunteer for festivals, at museums, theaters etc.
5. Hope life improves for you down here, but if it doesn't good luck elsewhere.
6 One other thought.......other people you see are in the same boat......don't be afraid to be the first to speak because they may just be too shy to. Personally I think people here respond to a smile, a hi how ya doing? better than when I lived up North, but then even my boss is amazed at my gift of gab and that I can talk and draw them out to make sometimes not so great experience that they can walk away from smiling. Be real and people are real with you.
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Old 10-23-2016, 09:32 AM
 
Location: North County San Diego Area
786 posts, read 496,197 times
Reputation: 724
Quote:
Originally Posted by Spring Hillian View Post

Ive been in FL 28 years and the only thing I have ever found accurate is lousy drivers but its no worsen than anywhere else Ive been.
Low pay has always been an issue and still is in for many in FL and pricey SoFla, I heard it back in the 90's from a company in Naples, Manager told me flat out "the pay is bad, but it's getting better here". That wasn't much of an issue before the boom and rising cost of living in SoFla.

Also after our nearly 30+ years combined life in FL, I have not yet experienced the level of bad driving in the San Diego Area than what I experienced daily in SoFla. I have not had a single horn blown when the light turns green or a finger drawn. People tend to use their turn signals here, will let you in on merge lanes and tail gating is less common.

Also CA has way better mass transit, alone in SD County there is the Sprinter, Coaster (which you can take from SD to Oceanside) and Metrolink to LA from there and in downtown SD the Trolley System is great and will by 2021 be as far north as La Jolla, that is you can hop on the Trolley in La Jolla and go to downtown SD avoiding the drive and parking.

All Aboard Florida won't ease traffic congestion in SoFla, which is forecasted to get even worse as the population grows.

At least they are planning for the growth here, SoFla doesn't seem to really care about fixing it or planning anything.

http://www.miamiherald.com/opinion/e...e38880960.html

http://seven50.org/traffic-woes-sout...gested-in-u-s/

Last edited by aewan68; 10-23-2016 at 10:19 AM..
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Old 10-23-2016, 10:18 AM
 
22 posts, read 14,041 times
Reputation: 34
Thanks for all your comments and advice, both snarky and actually helpful. Its obvious that there are unsavory people everywhere, but the point that I was trying to make is that both my experiences, as well as my husband's have been somewhat disappointing. We have explored multiple areas and neighborhoods (beaches, food truck events, parks etc) and it's pretty much the same thing (clicky, and alienating).

As far as employment, I have no reason to embellish my experience. My background is in behavioral health and the NICU..I have had ZERO luck in finding day shift work. I don't know what other's experience has been, but I have had no luck thus far. Granted, there will always be things that you miss about home, but trust me, my feelings aren't a symptom of being homesick. We live in a beautiful neighborhood with plenty to do as far as my daughter is concerned, and people who work in retail and restaurants are all polite and friendly but the buck seems to stop there. South Florida is easy on the eyes but so far it seems to lack substance and a sense of community.

We have visited California ( San Diego, and Los Angeles) and we both loved it..especially San Diego. I think my husband's biggest fear was the cost of living. Now that we're here in Fl, I think my husband is realizing that you get what you pay for. Southern California is known for being expensive but there was just a lot more to do and has more to offer as far as employment/salary, entertainment, and vibe/culture.

I'm no expert on either location, however, I think some people who take offense to any negative criticism of South Fl or Florida in general may not take in consideration how a transplant may have a different outlook than a Florida native. I lived in Philadelphia my entire life and I couldn't wait to leave the concrete jungle, but I was able to identify and understand the appeal that the Philadelphia has to transplant.
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Old 10-23-2016, 10:22 AM
 
Location: FLORIDA
8,964 posts, read 6,268,491 times
Reputation: 3380
Hahaha. Foreigners huddled around each other speaking their native language. That's lots of FL now unfortunately. Many parts of central Fla are getting the same way.

Have you looked into like.... Charlotte or Atlanta, or Raleigh Etc? It's the beach a huuuuuge factor for you guys? If not, I have no idea why you would choose south fla honestly.
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Old 10-23-2016, 10:30 AM
 
Location: US
17,932 posts, read 17,857,033 times
Reputation: 13935
Quote:
Originally Posted by MirandaHobbs View Post
Thanks for all your comments and advice, both snarky and actually helpful. Its obvious that there are unsavory people everywhere, but the point that I was trying to make is that both my experiences, as well as my husband's have been somewhat disappointing. We have explored multiple areas and neighborhoods (beaches, food truck events, parks etc) and it's pretty much the same thing (clicky, and alienating).

As far as employment, I have no reason to embellish my experience. My background is in behavioral health and the NICU..I have had ZERO luck in finding day shift work. I don't know what other's experience has been, but I have had no luck thus far. Granted, there will always be things that you miss about home, but trust me, my feelings aren't a symptom of being homesick. We live in a beautiful neighborhood with plenty to do as far as my daughter is concerned, and people who work in retail and restaurants are all polite and friendly but the buck seems to stop there. South Florida is easy on the eyes but so far it seems to lack substance and a sense of community.

We have visited California ( San Diego, and Los Angeles) and we both loved it..especially San Diego. I think my husband's biggest fear was the cost of living. Now that we're here in Fl, I think my husband is realizing that you get what you pay for. Southern California is known for being expensive but there was just a lot more to do and has more to offer as far as employment/salary, entertainment, and vibe/culture.

I'm no expert on either location, however, I think some people who take offense to any negative criticism of South Fl or Florida in general may not take in consideration how a transplant may have a different outlook than a Florida native. I lived in Philadelphia my entire life and I couldn't wait to leave the concrete jungle, but I was able to identify and understand the appeal that the Philadelphia has to transplant.
The culture in Southern California is quite similar to the culture in South Florida (materialistic, clicky etc). And to be honest it is hard anywhere to make friends outside of work or school, so it has more to do with you not working or attending school than location. I'm sure if you aren't working or a par of any clubs etc, you would have the same problem virtually anywhere else. I've moved a lot and noticed this. You really need to be a part of something where you see the same people on a regular basis over and over and over in order to develop actual friendships at this age.
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Old 10-23-2016, 10:36 AM
 
22 posts, read 14,041 times
Reputation: 34
Quote:
Originally Posted by StreetSmarts View Post
Hahaha. Foreigners huddled around each other speaking their native language. That's lots of FL now unfortunately. Many parts of central Fla are getting the same way.

Have you looked into like.... Charlotte or Atlanta, or Raleigh Etc? It's the beach a huuuuuge factor for you guys? If not, I have no idea why you would choose south fla honestly.
I was very open to Atl..we've visited quite a few times and it was great..plenty to do, lots of southern hospitality and CLEAN. Job market is pretty tough there and it gets t a lil too cold for the Mr. during the winter. Hoping that once my husband gets a year experience under his belt he'll have more leverage in other areas.
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Old 10-23-2016, 10:45 AM
 
Location: Fort Lauderdale, Florida
9,245 posts, read 8,318,049 times
Reputation: 20059
Quote:
Originally Posted by MirandaHobbs View Post
I would say 70% of the women I see with their children in the library are foreign and they're usually huddled up with their friends and are speaking in their native language. .
I just want to point out that there is a good chance that those 'foreign' women are probably American born.

Many first generation South Florida natives first language is not English. Even second generation.
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Old 10-23-2016, 10:53 AM
 
663 posts, read 771,707 times
Reputation: 1142
Quote:
Originally Posted by MirandaHobbs View Post
Thanks for all your comments and advice, both snarky and actually helpful. Its obvious that there are unsavory people everywhere, but the point that I was trying to make is that both my experiences, as well as my husband's have been somewhat disappointing. We have explored multiple areas and neighborhoods (beaches, food truck events, parks etc) and it's pretty much the same thing (clicky, and alienating).

As far as employment, I have no reason to embellish my experience. My background is in behavioral health and the NICU..I have had ZERO luck in finding day shift work. I don't know what other's experience has been, but I have had no luck thus far. Granted, there will always be things that you miss about home, but trust me, my feelings aren't a symptom of being homesick. We live in a beautiful neighborhood with plenty to do as far as my daughter is concerned, and people who work in retail and restaurants are all polite and friendly but the buck seems to stop there. South Florida is easy on the eyes but so far it seems to lack substance and a sense of community.

We have visited California ( San Diego, and Los Angeles) and we both loved it..especially San Diego. I think my husband's biggest fear was the cost of living. Now that we're here in Fl, I think my husband is realizing that you get what you pay for. Southern California is known for being expensive but there was just a lot more to do and has more to offer as far as employment/salary, entertainment, and vibe/culture.

I'm no expert on either location, however, I think some people who take offense to any negative criticism of South Fl or Florida in general may not take in consideration how a transplant may have a different outlook than a Florida native. I lived in Philadelphia my entire life and I couldn't wait to leave the concrete jungle, but I was able to identify and understand the appeal that the Philadelphia has to transplant.
I gotta ask what made you move to FL in the 1st place, what was the attraction? As you can see most of the Floridians here are very sensitive towards any form of criticism of their beloved state for reasons unbeknown to me they take it personally. It's true no matter where you move you'll find the good, the bad, & the ugly therefore you shouldn't over expect. Florida is the playground of the east coast that's why their tourism is so great since there's much to do there vs states like where I live which is Delaware that I refer to as a "hick" state, & while the cost of living is great, no sales tax, & real estate taxes are low here when we want real entertainment we have to go to the very city you fled from, Phila. My point is you'll always find positives & negatives no matter where you live. I already knew I couldn't be happy in FL cause the heat & humidity would make me miserable yet it's a great place to vacation if you visit during the winter months. If you're seriously planning to relocate again do as others have suggested by researching 1st, go into the CA forum & ask questions & read the threads there, in other words "always look before you leap". Good luck.
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Old 10-23-2016, 11:03 AM
 
22 posts, read 14,041 times
Reputation: 34
Quote:
Originally Posted by smarino View Post
I doubt that anyone could tell you anything as you seem to have it all figured out. Everything that is except the part about going some place for an extended time BEFORE you move there. If you don't do that w/ California, good luck.

Besides, it's impossible that the entire area is like you describe. This is just your impressions of where your are. Back home you had plenty of time to figure things out. I am SURE Philly has equally bad problems and worse, but when you live somewhere for a while you figure out where you need to be. There is no way that everyone is as you say they are where you live, that every school has those sort of kids, etc. That would be like me moving to Harlem and saying I didn't like New York because of this or that. If I moved to Manhattan, things would be different. Or, I might prefer Harlem and not Manhattan. You need to figure out where you need to be, and again, do that before you move, not after.

A nurse that can't find work in Florida????
You hit the nail on the head. This IS my impression. And as far as going somewhere for an "extended time" before moving there, I'm confused as to what that means. How does one with a job, family and home spend extended time in a different state without it interfering with our work and family life either you vacation somewhere or move there, find a rental and spend a good year living there.
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