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Old 12-28-2006, 01:11 PM
 
317 posts, read 1,121,704 times
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...if you were divorced with a 10 year old son --and 40-something yourself -- and still hoping that you will find love again -- where would you live (in Florida) or definitely not live? For example, are some areas (I am guessing, for example, Melbourne Beach), ONLY and overly whole-family oriented communities where the chances of meeting another single/divorced 40ish man would be slim and none -- although I could be completely wrong about this perception. ) I DO need a family-oriented town of sorts for my son's sake, but I don't want it to be The Stepford Town .

On the other hand, I WOULD think that a town like Sarasota, although heavily populated with "retired folks"...would have alot more to offer in meeting like kinds of folks. Do you know what I mean???? When I visited Melbourne Beach, I don't think I saw one restaurant --- and it looked like VERY close knit families --- not a bad thing at all-- in fact, I wish I had that in my life -- anyhow...MB appeared to have little diversity ... in that it appeared to be a "stay at home mom" community", (again, wish that was me, but it isn't, so...)...MB again...seemed truly whole-family oriented --- maybe even a little Stepford like????! Remember, these are ONLY my perceptions to date...and I may be way off base. That's why I need your guidance.

OK - let me have it folks! Thanks!

Cheers!
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Old 12-28-2006, 02:48 PM
 
Location: on an island
13,382 posts, read 40,856,289 times
Reputation: 13244
I still say northwest or northeast Florida!
Up here it just feels like there is so much *possibility* but maybe I am wearing rose-colored glasses.
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Old 12-29-2006, 07:46 AM
 
Location: beautiful NC mountains!
904 posts, read 2,586,557 times
Reputation: 1250
Having been in your situation, and now remarried for 6 years, I would say you should go to Orlando. There are enough single men to choose from and yet many safe, family oriented suburbs. Orlando has a lot to offer in terms of jobs and social life. The city itself does have a lot of crime but if you go West or North of the city you will find many wonderful, safe areas to raise a child.

As far as Melbourne goes...The beach area seems to be very family oriented as you said. I do think that there are a lot of singles in other areas of the county. If your child is involved in sports (ie. Little League or etc.) you will meet a lot of single parents like yourself. Be brave, give yourself time and put yourself out there. A new life awaits!
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Old 12-29-2006, 07:51 AM
 
320 posts, read 1,006,728 times
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I'm 26. Would you be cool with being a sugar momma to a young stud?




Just kidding, I'd say look around but don't settle. Maybe try the on-line personals, such as Yahoo and Comcast. I think they are free.
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Old 12-29-2006, 09:07 PM
 
Location: The Conterminous United States
22,553 posts, read 47,241,467 times
Reputation: 13382
Love? Bleah...

I'm 45 and married. I'm happy. But looking for love? Nah. I got to a certain age and realized there is so much more in life.

Maybe when you enjoy yourself, and find deeper meaning in your life, well, love just comes.

I'm in love with my husband because I see all his flaws and put up with it anyway. That is love. He sees me the same way.

Romanticized love is a Hallmark card, a Hollywood-produced movie.

Do you know what I love? Seeing things through my six-year-old daughter's eyes, helping someone everyday, speaking a kind word to a stranger, watching the sunrise over the mountains as I drive to work, seeing my husband's joy at watching a movie that I find utterly ridiculous. That is what I love.

I've watched my 58-year-old mother-in-law chase men for the past three years because she cannot stand to be alone. I find it very sad.

Okay, I'm done my diatribe.
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Old 12-30-2006, 03:42 PM
 
Location: beautiful NC mountains!
904 posts, read 2,586,557 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hiknapster View Post
Love? Bleah...

I'm 45 and married. I'm happy. But looking for love? Nah. I got to a certain age and realized there is so much more in life.

Maybe when you enjoy yourself, and find deeper meaning in your life, well, love just comes.

I'm in love with my husband because I see all his flaws and put up with it anyway. That is love. He sees me the same way.

Romanticized love is a Hallmark card, a Hollywood-produced movie.

Do you know what I love? Seeing things through my six-year-old daughter's eyes, helping someone everyday, speaking a kind word to a stranger, watching the sunrise over the mountains as I drive to work, seeing my husband's joy at watching a movie that I find utterly ridiculous. That is what I love.

I've watched my 58-year-old mother-in-law chase men for the past three years because she cannot stand to be alone. I find it very sad.

Okay, I'm done my diatribe.
I disagree... After 10 years of trying to have the perfect family with a jerk, I got out. I wasn't looking for another man. I was satisfied with being a mother and having good friends.
Friends talked me into going out with someone I had known casually for a few years, something clicked. We have now been married for 6 years and have a wonderful life. He is kind, considerate, helpful and most of all loves my kids from my first marriage like they are his own. He coaches them, helps with homework, etc. He really loves them. We are now the family I tried for 10 years to have with my first husband.

Romantic love is out there..Just don't settle for anyone to fill the void. Wait until you find a friend that also curls your toes.
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Old 12-30-2006, 04:30 PM
 
Location: Old Town Alexandria
14,505 posts, read 23,728,391 times
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Interesting thread-lol. In response to the first post, if you are looking for an available 40-something- a city would be better than say, Boca or Wellington. Those are all family oriented. Sarasota or Naples would be good. A single friend of mine lived in Melbourne- beautiful area but she got bored and moved to Ft Lauderdale. Delray Beach could also be a possibility; when I lived in Boca used to walk along all the shops there, it is by the beach and you can meet/converse with people. Good music there on weekends and Busch's seafood- excellent! . (guess I am fantasizing being single again-lol)

sunny.
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Old 12-30-2006, 05:39 PM
 
Location: The Conterminous United States
22,553 posts, read 47,241,467 times
Reputation: 13382
VBMom:

Good for you! That's exactly my point, you weren't looking. It seems that never works.

I guess I didn't make my point very well. Sorry.
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Old 12-31-2006, 01:41 PM
 
317 posts, read 1,121,704 times
Reputation: 152
Default Hiknapster..? VeroMom - thank you.

Haven't been trolling at all. Only been divorced 2 years and have since dedicated myself 100% to my son. Haven't even been looking or hoping. I took your response a bit defensively.

I too, got out, because of drinking. Otherwise, from the outside, everything looked perfect.

And what VeroMom said was right -- maybe it is not love that I may be interested in again, but a great friend first.

And I disagree with what you said about living with faults - especially if they are ones like drinking -- I wasn't happy to just live with the status quo.

Anyway, back to the Florida thread. .....In the meantime, I am on my way to visit Sarasota tomorrow. Will share my insights when I return.
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Old 12-31-2006, 02:00 PM
 
Location: Central Florida
1,406 posts, read 4,665,722 times
Reputation: 837
Nancy,

I think Orlando would be a good place for you and your son. There's plenty to do (even if you're not into theme parks!), job opportunities are out there, and there are lots of singles. I was divorced for several years with children & actually lived in a "family" neighborhood. (Hey, I had a family, just not a husband.) I'm in my 50's now but have been with my husband for 16 years, married almost 15 of those. We met through work -- didn't go looking for anyone in a bar and actually wasn't looking when he came along. So good things do happen in your 40's!

Best Wishes!
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