[sallygoodin]

Tell me how you handled moving even further away from your kids and grandkids. How often do you see them since you've moved to FL and how long did it take you to adjust?

I haven't moved to FL yet but am anticipating missing mine terribly when the time comes. I see my oldest and grandkids weekly and my other kids at least every couple of months.

Thanks

[Nomadicus]

The same way you have to handle it when they take off from the nest and move way off like mine have. From the DC are to CO. Yes I miss seeing them but they have lives and dreams to follow too and I just have to accept it. I don't know any other way to think about it. I would hope that they would understand and make pilgramages to visit.

[runswithscissors]

Quite a few people here have mentioned others returning to their home states because of grandchildren. It's a good idea to REALLY make sure you LOVE Florida enough to move here, IMO. Especially if you are buying a house. You're likely to have to keep it awhile if you change your mind later. My grown son lives here and he's already told me in looking at other cities to move to that "no offense but unfortunately parents do not enter into our decision" LOL.

[Lancaster77]

Some of our children take vacations to Florida with the grandkids, so we expect that we will have plenty of beach loving family visit when we move..but we will still miss them...

[doggiebus]

Friends of ours have kids in Seattle and some in Florida, they see the ones in Florida more frequently throughout the year.

For children/grandchildren in Seattle they have this arrangement: The kids and grandchildren in Seattle come to Florida for 2 weeks in the summer usually, they leave the grandchildren for two extra weeks (this way the parents get a break). Then the grandparents fly out to Seattle (bringing the grandchildren back) for two weeks in Seattle. Every other Christmas they spend Christmas together, either they fly to Seattle or the family comes to Florida. Then they fly out to Seattle two extra times during the year.

[rusty78]

Originally Posted by sallygoodin

Tell me how you handled moving even further away from your kids and grandkids. How often do you see them since you've moved to FL and how long did it take you to adjust?

I haven't moved to FL yet but am anticipating missing mine terribly when the time comes. I see my oldest and grandkids weekly and my other kids at least every couple of months.

Thanks

My parents always wanted to move somewhere warmer than where they are...but always put it off...so they would be available to baby sit my brother's kids...and or to stay at his house to take care of the dog...what a joke......now...the grandkids are off on their own...rarely if ever call no less visit...and my brother has moved off...to be in a warmer climate......and as they as they put it "we are to old to move now" and they like their doctors/etc.....so don't put off your move!!!

Several of my parents friend's had moved south and what they found was that their family would always come to visit...especially during the winter months...you won't see them as much...but at least they will visit...if for no other reason than to have a free place to stay......

[sallygoodin]

Thanks for all the comments. I have no doubt that my kids will visit a couple of times a year, but why do I have this nagging guilt about "abandoning" our adult kids?

[TANaples]

Originally Posted by sallygoodin

Tell me how you handled moving even further away from your kids and grandkids. How often do you see them since you've moved to FL and how long did it take you to adjust?

I haven't moved to FL yet but am anticipating missing mine terribly when the time comes. I see my oldest and grandkids weekly and my other kids at least every couple of months.

Thanks

especially if you came here by circumstances, not choice. My younger daughter is a new teacher and comes down about 3 times a year on her breaks. However, she is complaining that the airfare is "killing" her. She is getting married next summer. Once she does, she probably won't be coming as much. Although we are going up for a week for the wedding, I cannot be there to help with the wedding planning, the dinners, etc. My future son-in-law's parents are very nice and we hit it off immediately. I would even like to be able to see them, which I cannot. They also want to buy a house before they marry. I cannot be there to help with either. We talk on the computer for HOURS about anything and everything. It is very depressing not being around for all this.

I hadn't seen my older daughter in a year. She was afraid to fly and didn't have any spare money for plane fare. We paid for her plane ticket this year. She seems to have gotten over her fright. However, since she works loss prevention at a very upscale store, she cannot take vacation anytime from the day after Thanksgiving until January 2. Forget about her coming for holidays.

Unless this your LIFE LONG DREAM of moving to Florida, you are eventually not going to be very happy about living far away. I have seen far too many people living here and then deciding that it was not worth it. Their kids/grandkids are more important. I know most people on here won't agree with that, but it is the truth for many people.

Only YOU can decide what is right for YOU. Sometimes we need to listen to that little "voice" in our brains. It is probably telling you how you REALLY feel about the situation, no matter what logic is telling you.

I suppose that is the reason Florida has so many snowbirds. They just live here for a few months a year and then go back home to their familes. They perhaps have the ideal situation for some people.

[runswithscissors]

Originally Posted by sallygoodin

Thanks for all the comments. I have no doubt that my kids will visit a couple of times a year, but why do I have this nagging guilt about "abandoning" our adult kids?

I'd be asking them what they say about it if that bothers you. The previous poster who told the story about the grandparents taking care of those kids their whole lives and now being too old to move and the damn kids not even calling or visiting is very typical America IMO. Abandoning how? In babysitting duties etc?

FORGET THAT if it is. I'm a mom and not a grandmother and my son already knows that there is no way on the face of the earth that I'm interested in babysitting any kids. Have them at your own risk I continue to tell him LOL

Now the dog, yes, I just took care of her last weekend

I'd be wondering why you think that your own life is secondary to everyone elses? Not trying to play shrink but .....

Another way to look at it is if you raised them to be high functioning independent adults, they'll be fine. If not, they better learn NOW while you're still around for moral support BY PHONE ha ha. Any of us could be gone tomorrow and if our kids can't survive without us, I think we failed them. (that's my version of a pep talk )

[121804]

Originally Posted by sallygoodin

Tell me how you handled moving even further away from your kids and grandkids. How often do you see them since you've moved to FL and how long did it take you to adjust?

I haven't moved to FL yet but am anticipating missing mine terribly when the time comes. I see my oldest and grandkids weekly and my other kids at least every couple of months.

Thanks

I was blessed to be raised in a home that encouraged & supported adventure & trying new things. But with that always came the reality that actions have consequences

My parents always told us they wanted to raise us with wings so that we could fly. They had NEVER made us feel bad that we have moved away & helped us move.

That being said, it has been us kids that have moved back to be near THEM. I had no desire to live near my parents until I was older & had my own family.

There is nothing like having your children be near their grandparents. I find it to be an incredibly special gift you can give to your children. No longer are my folks a 22 hour car ride away or a $400/person plane ticket away. They are 25 mins away. My sons will know their grandparents on a personal level & as I said, that is possibly one of the best things we can do for our children IMO.

If my folks wanted to move away, we'd support them 150%. But we are all at a point right now were we all want to stay put & will do so as long as possible.

I think it's tough when families are separated by long distances but many get use to it. We never did but that's just us. Sure for every person that didn't get use to it there is a person who does just fine.

One day a cashier at Publix in SWFL told me to moved to SWFL to get away from her grandkids, so I guess different strokes for different folks.

My parents are in their mid70s & have no problem telling us that they can't babysit or that don't want anyone over for a few days etc. They travel and so on. We didn't move near so they could be free babysitters. But the other day my son came down with a very high fever & my dh was out of town. I called my mom for some suggestions. She said that if need be, she'd come over. I told her I'd be fine. The most comforting thing was knowing she could come over & that was peace of mind. I guess I just have a good & positive relationship with my folks as does my dh. We like being near them. Some people just want to be far away.