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Old 09-19-2008, 06:16 AM
 
Location: Exit 14C
1,555 posts, read 3,711,577 times
Reputation: 395

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. . . although I know it's probably going to be futile; one can hardly expect to catalyze a change in anyone's personality through a message board post, but anyway:

While you're in Florida--or wherever you happen to find yourself, at whatever point in your life--you should try to experience your surroundings for what they are, more non-judgmentally. So it's not that you're trying to "make yourself enjoy it", but rather trying to not be negative and not complain, rather just experience what there is to experience, with the value being the variety of experiences as such.

In other words, you would still work on moving elsewhere when possible, if that's your goal, but while you're wherever you are, you'd make the best of it--get everything you can out of it. You can't change anything (except your health maybe and the moods and health of those around you) by simply complaining and being miserable all the time. What good does that do? . . . unless you just happen to be the kind of person who likes to complain.

I also think it's wise to try to experience some things you wouldn't normally seek out, but that are unique to wherever you are, and approach them with this same attitude. Try doing some things you normally wouldn't do, and try focusing on the experience as such--for example, if it's really hot and you're trying to take that airboat ride you've never taken, and you'd normally complain about heat, concentrate on what heat feels like rather than on the fact that you do not like it. You'd also focus on the things that you do like about whatever you're doing--for example, maybe you find the sensation of speeding over the water in the airboat exciting.

But it's really up to you. Do you like being miserable and complaining? Is that how you want to spend your precious few years on the Earth? Some of the folks who complain believe that they'll be stuck in Florida for many years (because of a career, or a spouse's career, or whatever)--that would mean that a significant percentage of your life would be spent being miserable. I don't think that's a good way to spend your time, but I also think in situations such as I'm seeing, the answer isn't to chase the narrow set of things that you think will make you not miserable, the answer is to change one's attitude/approach to life--that way, no matter what happens, you can't be miserable; you've conquered miserableness in a way that it can never affect you again.
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Old 09-19-2008, 06:45 AM
 
Location: Arctic Tundra, MA
3,633 posts, read 8,512,809 times
Reputation: 1731
Done all of this.... But I spent nearly 15 years here, the fun is worn out. "what the heat feels like"???? HUH? It feels like a burning sensation when the sun hits you, it feels like it makes to lose energy, it feels like...uncomfortable to me.

Airboat rides are cool, I must admit...

My life will change next weekend when I move. I have been trying to be positive, but I get less and less negative as the time gets closer to when I move away. Why could that be?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tungsten_Udder View Post
. . . although I know it's probably going to be futile; one can hardly expect to catalyze a change in anyone's personality through a message board post, but anyway:

While you're in Florida--or wherever you happen to find yourself, at whatever point in your life--you should try to experience your surroundings for what they are, more non-judgmentally. So it's not that you're trying to "make yourself enjoy it", but rather trying to not be negative and not complain, rather just experience what there is to experience, with the value being the variety of experiences as such.

In other words, you would still work on moving elsewhere when possible, if that's your goal, but while you're wherever you are, you'd make the best of it--get everything you can out of it. You can't change anything (except your health maybe and the moods and health of those around you) by simply complaining and being miserable all the time. What good does that do? . . . unless you just happen to be the kind of person who likes to complain.

I also think it's wise to try to experience some things you wouldn't normally seek out, but that are unique to wherever you are, and approach them with this same attitude. Try doing some things you normally wouldn't do, and try focusing on the experience as such--for example, if it's really hot and you're trying to take that airboat ride you've never taken, and you'd normally complain about heat, concentrate on what heat feels like rather than on the fact that you do not like it. You'd also focus on the things that you do like about whatever you're doing--for example, maybe you find the sensation of speeding over the water in the airboat exciting.

But it's really up to you. Do you like being miserable and complaining? Is that how you want to spend your precious few years on the Earth? Some of the folks who complain believe that they'll be stuck in Florida for many years (because of a career, or a spouse's career, or whatever)--that would mean that a significant percentage of your life would be spent being miserable. I don't think that's a good way to spend your time, but I also think in situations such as I'm seeing, the answer isn't to chase the narrow set of things that you think will make you not miserable, the answer is to change one's attitude/approach to life--that way, no matter what happens, you can't be miserable; you've conquered miserableness in a way that it can never affect you again.
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Old 09-19-2008, 06:47 AM
 
Location: Tampa, FL
824 posts, read 2,538,254 times
Reputation: 954
I agree, Tungsten. You are absolutely right. I must admit, I can be classified as a "semi-hater of FLorida"...lol. In other words, I have been here for 15 years, love the beaches and the water, and I thoroughly enjoy the heck out of those things while I live here. I enjoy the warm weather, and I mountain bike and keep active in the nice weather here. But deep inside, I hate the other aspects of this state- the traffic, the lousy drivers, the huge geriatric population that also drives (ugh), the wierd people, the transient population, the lack of any culture in this state, the lack of mountains and the lack of decent mexican restaurants (lol!).
I am counting down my retirement days, planning on moving out west (northern Arizona), and keep a positive lookout at the light at the end of the tunnel.
I come on here and gripe, but I don't sit in a dimly lit room and whine about it, am miserable because of it, or refuse to go anywhere because of it.
This weekend, I'm going to the other coast of Florida to relax, fish, and hang with friends. I will have a great time. But a day after I retire, I am loading up my truck and a UHaul, and I am driving out to my new home in Arizona. I will not look back and miss Florida, that's for sure.
I did the same thing when I left Southern Cal. Have only been back once since I left there.
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Old 09-19-2008, 06:49 AM
 
Location: Exit 14C
1,555 posts, read 3,711,577 times
Reputation: 395
Quote:
Originally Posted by BacktoMA4good View Post
"what the heat feels like"???? HUH?
It's kind of a zen thing. One can experience things non-judgmentally, just experiencing x as x, not as something pleasant or unpleasant, comfortable or uncomfortable, etc. The value is in the experience as an experience.
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Old 09-19-2008, 06:57 AM
 
Location: Venice Florida
1,380 posts, read 5,230,934 times
Reputation: 864
Several years ago there was an article by three reporters for the Herald Tribune (Sarasota/Venice). One writer blasted Florida, lack of culture, traffic, nothing to do... how he was glad he moved back to CT.
The other two writers wrote about how they enjoyed sunsets on the beach, the street fairs, places like Selby's garden and Mote Marine, kayaking on the Myakka...how they enjoy their life in Florida.

Some people will never enjoy life in Florida. Some people, for some reason are looking to Florida to make them happy and are disappointed when it doesn't happen.

While I'm amazed by what I view as extreme negativity about life in Florida, one reason that I come to a forum like CD is to get others views. To see how others see the same world I live in.
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Old 09-19-2008, 06:58 AM
 
Location: Arctic Tundra, MA
3,633 posts, read 8,512,809 times
Reputation: 1731
Well, this being my last weekend here in FL, I am bringing my daughter to the beach tomorrow, let her run around on it. I'll be out there too with her. Gotta teach her hot to watch out for stingrays though! Get some ice cream. Won't be doing that until next May up in Mass. But we get to go sledding!!!!! Or me, I get to go XC skiing again. I'm going hiking the first week I am up there, alredy planned it.

I'll just enjoy what I can for the next week. It's actually not very humid out there today.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tungsten_Udder View Post
It's kind of a zen thing. One can experience things non-judgmentally, just experiencing x as x, not as something pleasant or unpleasant, comfortable or uncomfortable, etc. The value is in the experience as an experience.
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Old 09-19-2008, 07:17 AM
 
1,377 posts, read 3,728,051 times
Reputation: 983
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tungsten_Udder View Post
, concentrate on what heat feels like rather than on the fact that you do not like it.
R U Serious?!ROFLLOLOLOLOLOMGPWND!!!
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Old 09-19-2008, 07:19 AM
 
Location: Tampa, FL
824 posts, read 2,538,254 times
Reputation: 954
Heh heh...lol @ Noodles.
Actually, I like the humidity in Florida. The west was so dry when I went back out there last year, I forgot what a nosebleed and cracked feet looked and felt like!
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Old 09-19-2008, 07:19 AM
 
5,969 posts, read 7,717,918 times
Reputation: 1614
Quote:
Originally Posted by **NoodLes** View Post
R U Serious?!ROFLLOLOLOLOLOMGPWND!!!
Somebody is trying to be the Dr. Phil of City-Data,lol
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Old 09-19-2008, 07:47 AM
 
15,112 posts, read 31,005,993 times
Reputation: 18209
Quote:
Originally Posted by DailyJournalist View Post
Somebody is trying to be the Dr. Phil of City-Data,lol
LOL at Dr. Phil....

Actually, Tungsten, I like your posts, hopefully they make people think. I have been on this forum for a while, now, and most people know me for my posts of how I do really love my life in Florida, which is my home state. But you know what, if I had been on this forum say five years ago, I would be sounding like BacktoMa4good or one of the others not so happy here. I was complaining about heat, traffic lack of this or that, you name it. Bottom line I came to find out I just wasn't happy living in Dade City, which is a beautiful little town, but rural with NOTHING going on there!

After we moved to Lakeland I really grew to appreciate what I have here again, and now even more so that we bought another home in Sarasota (which we will be moving into soon, we love it SOOOO MUCH there!)

I don't want anyone who isn't happy here to think I am trying to dissuade their thinking; only pointing out that for me it was a matter of a simple change. I also believe that no one place, be it city, state, or even residence will suit a person for their entire life. I also agree with one of your earlier posts, Tungsten, about how you have traveled and enjoy so many places. I haven't traveled as much as I would like, but I do enjoy so many places I have been, and could live in any of them for at least a short time (like a year or so). I really like to squeeze as much as I can out of life, because I learned a long time ago when my mom died young that we never know how much time we get on this earth, and I want to go out knowing I made the most of things and had no regrets.

Well, back to you "Dr. Phil!"
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