[lostinlife]

Hello everyone! at first I would just like to say that this site is very informative and it seems there is an abundance of insightful folk.

I dont want to bore anyone with my challenges or shortcomings but I am at a point in my life where I need to be humble and make sacrifices for my family.I have just recently turned 35 years old,I am married to an amazing woman and have two beautiful daughter 8 and 1.At the current moment i am self employed here in the "great state of New Jersey".What i do pretty much is irrellevant but i am involved with building race cars.

Up until this point in life I have been irresponsible and neglectful.Since the day that my wife and I got married we were in financial debt.Our wedding was a gala event that cost us well over 40k from our pockets and we had plenty of help from family.With the debt that we acquired,life from that point took on a whole new meaning.Playing "catch up" became a way of life.We have been married for just over ten years and have been living week to week since the start.We both grew up in NY and have always had that champagne taste with beer pockets.Right now we are seriously over our heads with finances.I do not own a home because my credit has taken a turn for the very worse,im not sure which is worse..my credit score or my i.q.
Right now here is an example of our overhead
rent/1800
car payments and insurance..1100/month
health insurance/1400
utilities are around 8-900
Im pretty sure you guys can fiigure out when all is said and done its alot more than those figures.

My wifes family lives in the holiday/newport richie area.We are strongly considering moving to that area.Because of the fact that I have been so irresponsible with my duties as a provider and planner i'm feeling a bit unsure of what I should do.My family means everything in the world to me and I need to make the right decisions now before it's too late.I dont mean to come across sympathetic at all but I am just so tired of the rat race and constantly struggling to keep up with my bills.For the first time in my life I am admitting that I need guidance.10 years ago it was easy to make your overhead for the month in under two weeks but of late it seems it takes me the full month if not more to cover the bills.Prices of everything have increased while income has remained stagnant.

I have been in the automotive industry my whole life and although I have established my name up here in the performance industry I will drop it without regrets for a chance to start over and rebuild.This is why I am considering florida.I have been making some phone calls to car dealerships in the area and came across what i think is a pretty good deal.A dealership offered me a job in which i will make 28/hr flat rate.flat rate means that you work on incentive.If a job pays 1.5 hours to complete i get paid 1.5 hours even if i finish it in 15 minutes.This is the way we get paid up here and back when i used to work for dealerships i would range from anywhere between 45-80 hours per week average in a 40 hour work week.

Based on conversations that i have had with other people who are down there that would be a comfortable salary for living in the holiday/port richie area.I would love to hear from any and all of you both positive and negative thoughts.I made a spread sheet of pros and cons and so far the pros of florida outweigh the cons greatly.New Jersey has the highest insurance rates in the country and is the richest state per capita and it seems that everyone around here is moving out of state.trade specific jobs are on the decline.everyones house is for sale here.....seriously,you cant walk down any block and not see at least two for sale signs.The biggest motivator for leaving NJ however is the cold....I hate it!!..there is nothing more uncomfortable than shaking like a leaf 4 months out of the year.I do understand that florida is no picnic in the summer but i would much rather sweat than watch my hands crack until they bleed!Right now my thumb looks like a wood chopping block !

Anyway,i just want to thank anyone who reads my rant and if you could share your thoughts with me it would be greatly appreciated.sorry for the long post but i would rather deal with anything anyone has to say than make the wrong decision again.

With all that being said feel free to share...thanks

[macguy]

Originally Posted by lostinlife

Hello everyone! at first I would just like to say that this site is very informative and it seems there is an abundance of insightful folk.

I dont want to bore anyone with my challenges or shortcomings but I am at a point in my life where I need to be humble and make sacrifices for my family.I have just recently turned 35 years old,I am married to an amazing woman and have two beautiful daughter 8 and 1.At the current moment i am self employed here in the "great state of New Jersey".What i do pretty much is irrellevant but i am involved with building race cars.

Up until this point in life I have been irresponsible and neglectful.Since the day that my wife and I got married we were in financial debt.Our wedding was a gala event that cost us well over 40k from our pockets and we had plenty of help from family.With the debt that we acquired,life from that point took on a whole new meaning.Playing "catch up" became a way of life.We have been married for just over ten years and have been living week to week since the start.We both grew up in NY and have always had that champagne taste with beer pockets.Right now we are seriously over our heads with finances.I do not own a home because my credit has taken a turn for the very worse,im not sure which is worse..my credit score or my i.q.
Right now here is an example of our overhead
rent/1800
car payments and insurance..1100/month
health insurance/1400
utilities are around 8-900
Im pretty sure you guys can fiigure out when all is said and done its alot more than those figures.

My wifes family lives in the holiday/newport richie area.We are strongly considering moving to that area.Because of the fact that I have been so irresponsible with my duties as a provider and planner i'm feeling a bit unsure of what I should do.My family means everything in the world to me and I need to make the right decisions now before it's too late.I dont mean to come across sympathetic at all but I am just so tired of the rat race and constantly struggling to keep up with my bills.For the first time in my life I am admitting that I need guidance.10 years ago it was easy to make your overhead for the month in under two weeks but of late it seems it takes me the full month if not more to cover the bills.Prices of everything have increased while income has remained stagnant.

I have been in the automotive industry my whole life and although I have established my name up here in the performance industry I will drop it without regrets for a chance to start over and rebuild.This is why I am considering florida.I have been making some phone calls to car dealerships in the area and came across what i think is a pretty good deal.A dealership offered me a job in which i will make 28/hr flat rate.flat rate means that you work on incentive.If a job pays 1.5 hours to complete i get paid 1.5 hours even if i finish it in 15 minutes.This is the way we get paid up here and back when i used to work for dealerships i would range from anywhere between 45-80 hours per week average in a 40 hour work week.

Based on conversations that i have had with other people who are down there that would be a comfortable salary for living in the holiday/port richie area.I would love to hear from any and all of you both positive and negative thoughts.I made a spread sheet of pros and cons and so far the pros of florida outweigh the cons greatly.New Jersey has the highest insurance rates in the country and is the richest state per capita and it seems that everyone around here is moving out of state.trade specific jobs are on the decline.everyones house is for sale here.....seriously,you cant walk down any block and not see at least two for sale signs.The biggest motivator for leaving NJ however is the cold....I hate it!!..there is nothing more uncomfortable than shaking like a leaf 4 months out of the year.I do understand that florida is no picnic in the summer but i would much rather sweat than watch my hands crack until they bleed!Right now my thumb looks like a wood chopping block !

Anyway,i just want to thank anyone who reads my rant and if you could share your thoughts with me it would be greatly appreciated.sorry for the long post but i would rather deal with anything anyone has to say than make the wrong decision again.

With all that being said feel free to share...thanks

You sound very sincere and with your family you certainly have a good incentive to want to make a few changes in your life. I think you need professional help though and some real tough love. Making a move will not solve your problems. Even making more money will not help because the odds are you wil repeat the same behavior, it almost can't be helped. There is an old saying, "If you took all the wealth of the world and divided it equally, it will all end up back in the same place. The same people will be rich and the same people will again be poor".

Without REAL commitment and outside help it will be hard for you to change your situation. Often making more money can make it worse because the person now feels they have it made and just over spend more going even deeper in the hole. First step is to get a financial advisor to help you set up a plan.