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Old 04-09-2009, 08:57 AM
 
Location: SW Florida
47 posts, read 281,990 times
Reputation: 41

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I am a trying to figure out what to DO at this time in my life and this time in my family's life and this time in the economy....people here always seem to have valuable things to say so i am posting my hopefully coherent quandry here.

me: 35 yr old mom of a 9 yr old special needs child, i have a bachelors from a swanky college, have my temporary teaching certif. in FL, and have one year of teaching in special ed. under my belt (didnt love it but its a job), but an overall unimpressive resume, because of the years spent caring for my son, not many impressive or long lasting positions on ,my resume - only real strength is college i attended.

husband: 35 yrs old, graduate of great college but degree in drama! also, crappy resume since then, worked mostly for his father in his tile company, only recently about a year and half ago branched out to working on some machines making armor for police etc. - more of a "job" than anything, not paying very well.

issues: particularly due to my sons situation, i want to and always planned on making enough decent money in my life time to leave him with some kind of inheretence/trust. also, goals ( i am VERY goal driven so to speak) of owning own home, establishing a career (whatever that may be, more on that) and living some place i like a LITTLE better than the place i am now.

i have thought alot about the above goals and i do not think they are too much to strive for. unfortunately, i and my husband should have tackled BEFORE this godforsaken economic downturn occured, but we didnt. we just kept working in our average jobs, not saving money, getting by and not doing much of anything else. We are in our 30s and appear to live more like college students or college grads in the sense of we dont own a home, no real savings, no investments, living in a place we dont like an know we dont want to live in etc.


ok, to the point of my post....it is high time that we change our lives, start taking baby steps to reach some goals. its what to DO that i cant decide. it appears that going back to school is the only thing we can do (my husband and i) in order to move on, obtain real careers, earn more money which leads to the other goals of home owning, and saving. neither of us are the entrepenuerial (SP?) type to go into sales or some thing that doesnt require an additional degree or schooling, epsecially in this economy. i have researched on the net, and over and over you hear about healthcare, IT, engineering as some of the only viable careers to emark on in this economy. i wanted to go to law school but #1 there is no law school where we live so we would have to move to do that and moving would mean an increase in rent (where we are in FL rents are cheap in good neighborhoods - we just hate it here and there is not enough for our son here in terms of schools and services) and having ot find new jobs. so we are trying to think, do we take the huge risk of moving, trying ot get employed in another FL city (would be the south east coast, like broward maybe) and have more options for our continuing education OR do we stay here and pick from the limited schooling here and just choose something - this place has only 2 small colleges with limited degree choices and several trade schools. Here my husband might choose radiography (healthcare secure career?) and i might chose to try and see if there is a distance psychology program i could get a masters in, or...i dont know what! i dont want ot be a nurse though that seems like an obvious choice....im not sure! maybe a physical therapist?

thats the whole issue, that i am trying to calculate what do to in the least amount of time to get the biggest return re: new careers. we want to end up with careers that between the two of us, we can live comfortably, save, and live somewhere that is a little more costly than our current FL city.

does anyone see what im saying here? its like a puzzle i am trying to piece together and not make a mistake! we have wasted enough time at 35 yrs of age and my son is 9 and the clock is ticking! ANY opinions are appreciated! thank you!
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Old 04-09-2009, 10:48 AM
 
15,199 posts, read 31,165,544 times
Reputation: 18364
Quote:
Originally Posted by airbucket View Post
I am a trying to figure out what to DO at this time in my life and this time in my family's life and this time in the economy....people here always seem to have valuable things to say so i am posting my hopefully coherent quandry here.

me: 35 yr old mom of a 9 yr old special needs child, i have a bachelors from a swanky college, have my temporary teaching certif. in FL, and have one year of teaching in special ed. under my belt (didnt love it but its a job), but an overall unimpressive resume, because of the years spent caring for my son, not many impressive or long lasting positions on ,my resume - only real strength is college i attended.

husband: 35 yrs old, graduate of great college but degree in drama! also, crappy resume since then, worked mostly for his father in his tile company, only recently about a year and half ago branched out to working on some machines making armor for police etc. - more of a "job" than anything, not paying very well.

issues: particularly due to my sons situation, i want to and always planned on making enough decent money in my life time to leave him with some kind of inheretence/trust. also, goals ( i am VERY goal driven so to speak) of owning own home, establishing a career (whatever that may be, more on that) and living some place i like a LITTLE better than the place i am now.

i have thought alot about the above goals and i do not think they are too much to strive for. unfortunately, i and my husband should have tackled BEFORE this godforsaken economic downturn occured, but we didnt. we just kept working in our average jobs, not saving money, getting by and not doing much of anything else. We are in our 30s and appear to live more like college students or college grads in the sense of we dont own a home, no real savings, no investments, living in a place we dont like an know we dont want to live in etc.


ok, to the point of my post....it is high time that we change our lives, start taking baby steps to reach some goals. its what to DO that i cant decide. it appears that going back to school is the only thing we can do (my husband and i) in order to move on, obtain real careers, earn more money which leads to the other goals of home owning, and saving. neither of us are the entrepenuerial (SP?) type to go into sales or some thing that doesnt require an additional degree or schooling, epsecially in this economy. i have researched on the net, and over and over you hear about healthcare, IT, engineering as some of the only viable careers to emark on in this economy. i wanted to go to law school but #1 there is no law school where we live so we would have to move to do that and moving would mean an increase in rent (where we are in FL rents are cheap in good neighborhoods - we just hate it here and there is not enough for our son here in terms of schools and services) and having ot find new jobs. so we are trying to think, do we take the huge risk of moving, trying ot get employed in another FL city (would be the south east coast, like broward maybe) and have more options for our continuing education OR do we stay here and pick from the limited schooling here and just choose something - this place has only 2 small colleges with limited degree choices and several trade schools. Here my husband might choose radiography (healthcare secure career?) and i might chose to try and see if there is a distance psychology program i could get a masters in, or...i dont know what! i dont want ot be a nurse though that seems like an obvious choice....im not sure! maybe a physical therapist?

thats the whole issue, that i am trying to calculate what do to in the least amount of time to get the biggest return re: new careers. we want to end up with careers that between the two of us, we can live comfortably, save, and live somewhere that is a little more costly than our current FL city.

does anyone see what im saying here? its like a puzzle i am trying to piece together and not make a mistake! we have wasted enough time at 35 yrs of age and my son is 9 and the clock is ticking! ANY opinions are appreciated! thank you!
Well, you don't say where you are, but what kind of jobs do you see a need for in your city - that should give you an idea of where to start if you don't want to move. Also, whatever you decide to do, make sure it's something you will like and can realistically do if you are going to go to school for it, if right at the outset you don't think you would like it, you would be wasting more time and $$$$. I re-read your post and see that you don't even like where you are.

Honestly, this is not the best place to come for the kind of answers you need, I would advise possibly going to a school or college counselor to see if you can get some guidance. You have a lot to think about.

Good luck to you!
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Old 04-09-2009, 11:06 AM
 
199 posts, read 483,433 times
Reputation: 69
Choose wisely. Most careers take time to make money. Not many quick high income jobs, especially now.

You mentioned law - are you really interested and ready for the insane long hours away from your family and high stress to bill hours for your boss? My father has a law firm on Long Island and a brother in law who is an attorney in NJ. Both of them and many in their firms (dad has been in many areas of law and different firms) regret their decision.

It will cost at least 50k for law school and you will have to work your way up before you start seeing those huge paychecks. Many lawyers in my dads firm make under 65k - working 60 hrs/week, hoping to move up. That on Long Island barely gets you a 1 bedroom apartment for rent especially with those loans.

Not trying to discourage you but make sure you know what your doing.

Physical therapist and radiologist are definitely jobs that can land you middle income jobs with some job security. Still will take atleast 2 years of training plus continuing certification. More realistic choice than law.

It seems you want what most people would want - being financially secure and having lots of time with the family. Usually its a trade off.

When you find the answer - please let me know .

In all seriousness - I wish you and everybody else good fortunes.
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Old 04-09-2009, 09:09 PM
 
Location: los angeles/florida
485 posts, read 1,530,333 times
Reputation: 262
Do what you love (and what you have a natural talent in) and the money will come...that is what I have always been told! I'm still waiting to see if that is true...
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Old 04-10-2009, 12:57 PM
 
10,604 posts, read 14,211,574 times
Reputation: 17203
You are in your earning years and have the legacy needs for your son. So I would say you do what it takes to make more money plain and simple. Plenty of people do jobs they hate for the money and make the best of it. As a mom, I'm speaking now. More money lower expenses even if it means one car or renting not buying....imo.

If your husb loves drama maybe a part time drama job on top of his real job teaching kids drama or something. Can't drama be merged with special ed somehow? Will he get a certificate too?

I say go where the money is and the resources for your son. Any state any job. But that's just me. You need to stay somewhere to work your way up and get seniorty and benefits too.

Law, forget it. Law is all about billable hours and you don't have the hours to give. And the younger people will run circles around you and you'll have to work at home and weekends for nothing just to pump up your billable hours. Law is ruthless not idealistic and normally you are finding ways to subvert your adversary and this is not conducive to raising a special needs kid IMO. Law means being supervised by a partner and being challenged to research, write, file, waste hundreds of hours on your own time and still not make your billable hours.

Option is paralegal - quick two year degree perhaps. Paralegal skills vary from basic to very valuable depending on the person.

How about medical but specific like speech therapy, stuff like that.

My friend had a psychology bachelors and got her masters combined with a teaching certificate and worked as a teachers aid while getting her phd and became a psychologist for special needs kids.

Sounds like you're not really into teaching though or probably not kid related stuff. I say if you aren't passionate about teaching people's special needs kids then they don't need you there.

How about nursing home or hospital management or something that's not nursing but in medical? There's even "medical billing" clerical that requires further education. Tons of medical jobs.

The husband with the drama is the tough challenge. It's not a family job so he's gonna have to buck up and find a career that'll provide for your son, IMO, no offense LOL.

I believe you will need to move to a metro city in a busy state to get "jobs".

I'd say Texas off the top of my head. They're doing ok right now I think. And cost of living less.
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Old 04-11-2009, 05:54 PM
 
278 posts, read 564,760 times
Reputation: 217
At 35 you are still quite young and can accomplish much in your life. The first thing that you must do is believe in yourself and in your husband. I am sorry to hear about your son and imagine that Florida does not provide many services for him. It also sounds like there are few opportunities for you where you are living. Sometimes it is best to leave where you are and try to start out fresh somewhere else. Unfortunately, this may not be the best of times to make such a move. It may be difficult to gamble on moving now, but it is certainly not too late to do some research on places you can move to. One of the first things you should look at are educational services that will be provided to your son in your new location. Establishing a trust for him should be a secondary concern. It is far more important to maximize any skills that he has to enable him to live an independent life if this is at all possible. Brush up your resumes and send them out to everyone you can think of, once you know where you want to move to. It costs very little to do this and may even result in something good coming from it. This economy will someday turn around and you will be better off in Florida. You must not become complacent because that will be the time to move. Get help from other people especially professionals who will help you plan and prepare. If you have medical insurance, seek professional psychiatric help from someone who can help restore your self belief and confidence. You are not the first or last person to find yourself in a bad predicament. Things will get much better, but only if you plan and make them that way. God bless you and your family. Good Luck.
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Old 04-12-2009, 04:38 AM
 
Location: Full time in the RV
2,869 posts, read 6,409,975 times
Reputation: 2432
Where in FL are you now?
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Old 04-13-2009, 07:49 PM
 
Location: SW Florida
47 posts, read 281,990 times
Reputation: 41
thank you first of all to everyone who replied to me. you all have good points i didnt think of, which is why i posted! i am now in Fort Myers. FL....would like to be in fort lauderdale or somewhere on east coast, southern. biggest challenges of course are no jobs, and since neither of us have "careers" to move around with (i do have the teaching but...), moving to a more expensive area seems stupid. on the other hand i think to myself, take the risk! lee county is awful except for one thing - cost of living is still cheap for a southern FL area with beaches if one is stuck here. our rent here is almost half what it would beon the other coast. however schooling options are so limited, i would have to choose from a few not preffered things. on the other hand, again, a recession is perhaps not the time to be picky.

VMAN650 - thank you! your post was really positive and gave me some hope! you are very kind!

runswithscissors - (great name!!) - excellent points you make. law is biting off alot, but i would go inot public interest, not firm. of course, less money there. anyhow, no law schools where i am.

i just need to decide what the priorities are, if i can and should be willing to deal with the unhappiness i feel living here and in exchange for jobs we do have and cheaper cost of living.

thank you all very much!
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