[HockeyMom72]

My husband got a job there almost 3 years ago. We sold our home and I renting here in NY while our younger daugher was in college in NY. She is graduating in May with a BA in Education and looking for a teaching job in NY. No, she doesn't want to teach in Florida. My husband bought a small condo and wants to buy a bigger one when I move here. Both our 20 something two daughters will be staying in NY.

I am not happy about moving there. I lived in Gainesville and Sarasota for almost a year in my 20s. I am not a sun and beach person. I even have pictures of myself as a 5 year old crying on the beach because I wanted to go home. I have lived on Long Island for almost 20 years and I think I have been to the beaches maybe 4 times. We used to have a pool here in our backyard and closed it because none of us ever went in it. Yes, even our daughters hardly went in it.

Ok, I admit snow, and even more so ICE, can be a real pain, but at least we have 4 seasons. Winter does not last forever. I love FALL and Spring and would really miss those. Endless Summer appeals to me even less than Winter.

Then there is the 2,000 mile separation from my children. How do you deal with that? My younger daughter probably will visit, but my older daughter is BiPolar and cannot be in an enclosed space, like a plane, for long periods, so she will never come down.

I am very, very depressed about moving in 2 months. I really need cheering up. I am trying to look on the bright side, but I am simply just going through the motions and putting off doing all I need to do to move. My husband is busily looking at condos, but I find I simply don't care.

[rholborn]

i'm sorry to hear that you are sad to move here! maybe you could find some country living with privacy in central florida? where in florida do you plan on moving to? i am originally from port chester n.y. and still visit family every summer in new england!

[oceandreams94]

Hi Hockeymom! I am so sorry you are feeling this way about moving! Have you talked to your husband about how you feel? Did he know that you felt this way when he got the job 3 years ago? Does he love the beach?
I would really talk to him about it, it has to be hard to move away from your children and also not be somewhere that you will love.
Is there any way at all that he would consider not moving to Florida permanently? Maybe you could stay up north for part of the year instead?

I dont know, just some suggestions. I wish I had more advice for you!

Jen

[lvmy3grls]

Maybe you could find an inexpensive condo in Florida, and keep your home in NY. The prices have come down, maybe that is an option. Being a snowbird is really getting the best of both worlds!!

[vpcats]

I agree. Can you do the 1/2 there 1/2 here thing? That would be great and you could spend the best weather seasons where you most like. You don't HAVE to be on the beach to be in Florida. There are many areas far far away from the beaches and nice, quiet, country like settings. The further you are from the ocean though the hotter it will be, stiffling hot but you could be in Long Island during that time.

[SKB]

Originally Posted by HockeyMom72

My husband got a job there almost 3 years ago. We sold our home and I renting here in NY while our younger daugher was in college in NY. She is graduating in May with a BA in Education and looking for a teaching job in NY. No, she doesn't want to teach in Florida. My husband bought a small condo and wants to buy a bigger one when I move here. Both our 20 something two daughters will be staying in NY.

I am not happy about moving there. I lived in Gainesville and Sarasota for almost a year in my 20s. I am not a sun and beach person. I even have pictures of myself as a 5 year old crying on the beach because I wanted to go home. I have lived on Long Island for almost 20 years and I think I have been to the beaches maybe 4 times. We used to have a pool here in our backyard and closed it because none of us ever went in it. Yes, even our daughters hardly went in it.

Ok, I admit snow, and even more so ICE, can be a real pain, but at least we have 4 seasons. Winter does not last forever. I love FALL and Spring and would really miss those. Endless Summer appeals to me even less than Winter.

Then there is the 2,000 mile separation from my children. How do you deal with that? My younger daughter probably will visit, but my older daughter is BiPolar and cannot be in an enclosed space, like a plane, for long periods, so she will never come down.

I am very, very depressed about moving in 2 months. I really need cheering up. I am trying to look on the bright side, but I am simply just going through the motions and putting off doing all I need to do to move. My husband is busily looking at condos, but I find I simply don't care.

I am sorry that this move sounds forced upon you like this. I am a believer of having an enthusiastic decision together with big decisions in a marriage. Is it to late to have this move canceled? Have you opened your heart and told your husband of your feelings?
Family is important and if you are the type of person that puts family first you are not going to be very happy not having your daughters close by you.

I know what this is like as when we lived in the Bahamas my husbands two daughters lived in Canada 1600 miles away. Since they were school age we would get them for all of the holidays. It was always hard to see them go back home again. Now that they are 19 and 18 we see them less due to their own lives now becoming independent.
One of my sons didn't live with us at that time and I missed him very much. I can tell you it does get easier to deal with over time. The phone and internet can really help to bridge that gap.
Both of my sons now live with us but that all is changing very soon. My oldest is going off to join the Air Force this summer. My youngest has now decided to move with us as for many months he said he was going to stay here in Canada when we move to Florida this summer. I am relieved that he decided to come with us.
I think in life eventually we have to let go and see our children go off and pursue their own lives and dreams. This is also something that can bring us a lot of joy and pride in watching.

I am sure in time you will get used to living this way, one good thing is that you can fly over to see your daughters anytime you wish to. There are always great deals with the airlines on ticket prices and you are not that far of a flight away. I wish I could give you a big hug right now, as a Mom I truly understand how your heart is feeling right now.

What area in Florida are you moving to?

We are headed to West Palm Beach, my husbands time in Canada with his job is up for rotation and we must return to the USA now. We have been out of the country since 1999. I am sad to move from here as I have made some really great friends here. BUT
I do know that there are new friends waiting for me that do not even know they are my future friends yet that is the cool part about traveling around. We lived in The Bahamas before we came here and I made some terrific friends down there too and some fantastic memories!!!!

Moving back for you to Florida will be different this time. Remember you are not a little kid anymore and you can decide if you wish to sit on the beach or not. Florida is bright, sunny, colorful and a wonderful happy place to be. You have a chance to "re invent" yourself by moving. You get to start a new chapter in your life and that is really exciting to. If things do not go well enough you know you can always move back again, nothing is ever permanent.

I wish you the best of luck with everything

SKB


SKB

[cuse]

Hockeymom72.....p-m sent to you.

[dreamofmonterey]

Originally Posted by HockeyMom72

My husband got a job there almost 3 years ago. We sold our home and I renting here in NY while our younger daugher was in college in NY. She is graduating in May with a BA in Education and looking for a teaching job in NY. No, she doesn't want to teach in Florida. My husband bought a small condo and wants to buy a bigger one when I move here. Both our 20 something two daughters will be staying in NY.

I am not happy about moving there. I lived in Gainesville and Sarasota for almost a year in my 20s. I am not a sun and beach person. I even have pictures of myself as a 5 year old crying on the beach because I wanted to go home. I have lived on Long Island for almost 20 years and I think I have been to the beaches maybe 4 times. We used to have a pool here in our backyard and closed it because none of us ever went in it. Yes, even our daughters hardly went in it.

Ok, I admit snow, and even more so ICE, can be a real pain, but at least we have 4 seasons. Winter does not last forever. I love FALL and Spring and would really miss those. Endless Summer appeals to me even less than Winter.

Then there is the 2,000 mile separation from my children. How do you deal with that? My younger daughter probably will visit, but my older daughter is BiPolar and cannot be in an enclosed space, like a plane, for long periods, so she will never come down.

I am very, very depressed about moving in 2 months. I really need cheering up. I am trying to look on the bright side, but I am simply just going through the motions and putting off doing all I need to do to move. My husband is busily looking at condos, but I find I simply don't care.

many of the posters have given some good advice here- let him know how you feel. Moving anywhere is MAJOR. I am speaking from experience. let your husband know before its too late!

sincerely,
sunny

[Minniemom]

Oh BOY, can I relate to you!

I put my house on the market and am making the move (from LI as well) at the end of this month. My husband went down there first - job transfer - to find a house. While I stayed here with the kids to sell our house. We are moving in 3 weeks and I have a ton of packing left to do. It all should be done by now, but I simply did not have the heart to do it. Although, soon I will have no choice. My kids are coming with me because they are so young - my oldest is five and loves the winter. I myself am also a spring/fall person who is not in love with summer. Same here - lived on LI my entire life and don't ulilize the beaches or pools much at all.

My situation is just reversed - I am leaving my mom (my best friend) and that is breaking my heart. I am an only child and she has been sick over this impending move. And like your daughter - she does not fly either. But due to Chlostrophobia(sp?). We are just going to have to find ways to visit = long car rides. Yuk!

I don't think I am depressed about it, but I am stressed - alot! I have been spending alot of time on this board and the people here have been really helpful and nice. I have even spoken on the phone to one of them. I am trying to keep a positive outlook about things. I think that if I make up my mind to be happy, then I will be. If I dwell on the negative and bad feelings, I will be miserable.

My husband has been wanting to move to FL since before we were married. My fault, I always said that I would go - but never thought it would actually happen. Well, he know how I feel, but his entire family is there and I guess I have to be fair and give it a chance.

If you ever need to talk - and just want to Florida bash with me , you can pm me. Good Luck to you and I hope you start to feel better about things.

[Floridabound09]

Being married is a team concept, not a single idea.

You must give and take on both ends.

I would ask him if we move and I do not like it, I would like the option to move back if I am not happy.

I would be willing to bet he will take you up on it and you both can agree!

You cannot go into knowing you do not like it yet and he cannot go into it knowing you want to stay. Or does he know you do not want to move?

Being depressed is common, but you know things change everyday in life and how you adapt to those changes is what makes us special.

Call a family meeting and discuss it, you cannot be depressed and not take on all the burden yourself.

Write down the pros and cons of it ALL.

Bet you will be much happier once you come to a total FAMILY decision.

Goodluck !