[HockeyMom72]

That is my perspective having lived in Florida before as a 20 something. I didn't like it. It was not my cup of tea. I hate the heat. I am not a sun and beach person. I wasn't then and I certainly am not now.

But in my situation, I have no choice. Do I want to stay married and live in Florida? Or do I want to divorce so I can live up North? That is my situation.

We had no choice. He was out of work up here for almost a year, almost lost our house, and he found a job in Florida. He dreamed about playing golf, not having to shovel snow, etc., etc., but he had never lived there before. I had. Has it lived up to HIS expectations? Would HE have chosen it now after living there for 3 years? I asked him. All he said was it beats 20 degrees. YOU read between the lines on that. He is going to see a former coworker who now lives just outside of Vegas. Yes, Nevada even has SNOW. The man is also a real estate agent. Again, YOU read between the lines on that. We are both in our late 50s, kids grow up, few years short of retirement. I can only say for myself that I do not wish to become a joke in my old age. As a tshirt I have seen says, "Florida Where America Goes to DIE". No, no, no. I would rather be dead than to live that.

So, I/we will just have to make the best of it. I will keep my feelings to myself to the rest of the outside world down there. I have lived long enough, and been a City person, to know how to do that. You may think I am rude, but consider this. It has nothing to do with you. It may just be my way of coping with what life has thrown at me. Some may consider this a "negative" posting. I call it REALITY.

[verobeach]

Originally Posted by HockeyMom72

That is my perspective having lived in Florida before as a 20 something. I didn't like it. It was not my cup of tea. I hate the heat. I am not a sun and beach person. I wasn't then and I certainly am not now.

But in my situation, I have no choice. Do I want to stay married and live in Florida? Or do I want to divorce so I can live up North? That is my situation.

We had no choice. He was out of work up here for almost a year, almost lost our house, and he found a job in Florida. He dreamed about playing golf, not having to shovel snow, etc., etc., but he had never lived there before. I had. Has it lived up to HIS expectations? Would HE have chosen it now after living there for 3 years? I asked him. All he said was it beats 20 degrees. YOU read between the lines on that. He is going to see a former coworker who now lives just outside of Vegas. Yes, Nevada even has SNOW. The man is also a real estate agent. Again, YOU read between the lines on that. We are both in our late 50s, kids grow up, few years short of retirement. I can only say for myself that I do not wish to become a joke in my old age. As a tshirt I have seen says, "Florida Where America Goes to DIE". No, no, no. I would rather be dead than to live that.

So, I/we will just have to make the best of it. I will keep my feelings to myself to the rest of the outside world down there. I have lived long enough, and been a City person, to know how to do that. You may think I am rude, but consider this. It has nothing to do with you. It may just be my way of coping with what life has thrown at me. Some may consider this a "negative" posting. I call it REALITY.

Hockeymom, I am very sorry about your situation. It has to be difficult to be somewhere you don't want to be. My heart goes out to you. But your feelings are YOUR reality. They are not the reality of all those who live in Florida. To start a post, "How About Eyes Wide Open" is a misrepresentation. You are entitled to your opinion but it doesn't mean if someone likes it here in Florida then their eyes are shut or that they are not living reality. I hope that you find your way back to the north soon and that you are happy when you get there. I am from the north too. I had the (dis)pleasure of visiting up there for two weeks in February and I was so taxed by the cold, the itchy dry skin, all the clothes I had to put on, that I know now that I can never go home again. Good luck!

[HockeyMom72]

Yes. They are precisely MY reality, but MY eyes are wide open for ME. I already KNOW how I feel. I hope someday my reality will be that I can CHOOSE to be where I want to be, WHEREVER that is.

If you are already living YOUR reality, more power to ya.

[verobeach]

Originally Posted by HockeyMom72

Yes. They are precisely MY reality, but MY eyes are wide open for ME. I already KNOW how I feel. I hope someday my reality will be that I can CHOOSE to be where I want to be, WHEREVER that is.

If you are already living YOUR reality, more power to ya.

You are not alone, hockeymom. I don't know where I want to be either. By the process of elimination, I know I can no longer live up north. Georgia and the Carolinas are too deep south for me. For now, and maybe forever, I am in Florida. I am slowly making new friends here and I'm finding this makes all the difference. For now this is home and for now I'm enjoying my life here and all that my surroundings have to offer. Some day, some year, this will change and maybe I'll be so old by then that I won't feel the cold and I can return to what I use to call home.

[edotabin]

Overall, I think Florida is a great place to live. I live in Boca and have tons of friends. And NO i am NOT RICH or snobby or snooty or Jewish or retired. I have tons of Greek friends in the Tarpon Springs area that I visit regularly, there's great beaches and overall one should make the best of their surroundings.

You are a bit homesick and that is understandable. Perhaps, you and your husband can find a way to slowly make your way back up to the place you like to call "home"

[LABRAT16]

I don't see the husband as a jerk, but rather a person that hasn't read his wife very well. As a mtter of fact I also see a wife that hasn't talked to her husband about how she feels. Home is where your heart is. It's possible that it is up north, or maybe it would be at home in the west, or just maybe where you are right now. Maybe if you told hubby how you felt, if you spent more time together, relite the home fires you'd find home is where you and hubby can enjoy each other more. Could be a touch of empty nest there, or the coming of it soon. Tell hubby you want to spend more "US" time and forget the rest. You might be pleasantly surprised. Try a little wine basket and a walk on the evening beach with a blanket. You could even find a man that shares more of your thoughts than you thought. A little talk and romance changes the way things look.

[verobeach]

Originally Posted by LABRAT16

I don't see the husband as a jerk, but rather a person that hasn't read his wife very well.

Dr. Phil??? Is that you???

[nomoresnow]

Hockeymom, I don't see your post as a slam against FL. It's how you feel. Hey, some people don't like ice cream. Know what I mean? Anyway, I'm not going to try to analyze your marriage, but I will offer you my understanding and wish you the best. Hang in there, girl, and do what you feel is best for you.

[Sunshine State]

I feel for you, but you didnt mention if YOU worked, and if you had to shovel that snow in 20 degrees it might seem the same to you as it does to your husband who has to hit the pavement every morning to go to work...

and you havent kept it a secret, lotsa people know now how you feel, reality is where you find/make it happen, not in the inside of four walls, and please dont be too freaked out if you see a tshirt that says "Soccer Moms do it Better" ....good luck, I hope you find your Utopian Dream World....

[riverviewnative]

I am a Male and the feelings of my Wife come first. If she is not happy then he should not be either. I hope if you are ever in a relationship you are treated like she is you deserve it. And if you would learn to read you would see she has felt like this for years.

Originally Posted by edotabin

Overall, I think Florida is a great place to live. I live in Boca and have tons of friends. And NO i am NOT RICH or snobby or snooty or Jewish or retired. I have tons of Greek friends in the Tarpon Springs area that I visit regularly, there's great beaches and overall one should make the best of their surroundings.

You are a bit homesick and that is understandable. Perhaps, you and your husband can find a way to slowly make your way back up to the place you like to call "home"