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Old 09-20-2009, 04:15 PM
 
38 posts, read 86,849 times
Reputation: 44

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I'm from the Boston area, a college student, who wanted to escape the winter and snow. I left everything behind to start over new at Florida Atlantic University. I'm soon finding out how much of a hell this place is.

The weather is great; the people are horrible. Here's a sum of the adjectives I can use to describe all of the people I've met in the Boca area: antisocial, sheltered, snobby, stuck up, shallow, boring, soul-less, unmotivated, withdrawn, unadventurous, unexciting, uninteresting, narrow-minded.

At college up north I lived in the dorms. Everyone knew each other, everyone hung out with each other, and everyone was friends and actually did things. I had a million friends.

But I was suffering from seasonal affective disorder. I had to get away from winter. So I came to FAU at the end of August to live in the dorms.

Everyone is segregated by race it seems. Sheltered and narrow-minded. Blacks hang out with blacks and whites hang out with whites.

Everyone seems to hang out with that one person they meet because they're either too anxiety prone or unmotivated to meet new people. Everyone stays in their room and form almost an unbreakable social barrier around themselves. They might seem nice, but it's superficial. They don't want to hang out or meet new people, they stick with what they know. No one seems to have substance or a personality. It's like I'm surrounded by mindless, soulless zombies, like I'm playing "The Sims."

I know a bunch of people are going to come and tell me to work hard, go out and make it happen blah blah blah. I have been. I've met literally two friends since Ive been here, and our bonds aren't even strong. I've been here an entire month and have never been more lonely in my life.

My opinion: the only good thing about Florida is the sunny, warm weather. Nothing else.

Am I missing something?
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Old 09-20-2009, 04:30 PM
 
Location: Miami
6,853 posts, read 19,737,162 times
Reputation: 2906
You have only been here a month, you have to give it time. They say it takes two years for the average person to make real friends in a new place. Its only natural to think twice shortly after a month, many people question their move, hang in there.
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Old 09-20-2009, 04:37 PM
TD*
 
1,511 posts, read 3,107,679 times
Reputation: 574
Its just how you are feeling right now. You have to give it more time. Whenever you move to a new place and you feel lonely it seems like everything is much worse than it actually is.

I felt the same way when i moved from Florida to California 2 years ago.... The place was beautiful as was the weather, but I didn't know many people and I didn't like my job so I gave up and came back to Florida.

The Truth is, Any place can be as great or as poor as you make it. With a positive attitude and dedication you can be happy anywhere anytime, with or without belongings.

You are at the hardest point right now, You have to go out and try to join clubs or meet up with people in sports that you enjoy. You have to keep trying or else you will not be succesful.



I can give this advice knowing exactly what I did wrong, and wish I was still in California... Its worth it to be uncomfortable and lost for a while to get stronger and persevere.. If you keep meeting new people, (sounds like you need to go outside the immediate dorm and campus folks) Things will turn around.

Remember, the most important thing is, live everyday like its your last. You don't know what kind of great person is just walking by you on the street or could become your best friend when you start talking the next day.
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Old 09-20-2009, 04:38 PM
 
Location: Palm Island and North Port
7,486 posts, read 19,856,660 times
Reputation: 2803
IMHO, it might be the area you chose. I'm a SW Florida native and I don't feel any of what you said. The people are open minded and very friendly. Maybe you might want to look into the Sarasota area. Sounds like you'd fit in well at New College.

I've vistied the other coast many times and never felt like I fit in.
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Old 09-20-2009, 04:39 PM
TD*
 
1,511 posts, read 3,107,679 times
Reputation: 574
Quote:
Originally Posted by SoFLGal View Post
IMHO, it might be the area you chose. I'm a SW Florida native and I don't feel and of what you said. The people are open minded and very friendly. Maybe you might want to look into the Sarasota area. Sounds like you'd fit in well at New College.
New college is expensive as sin!
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Old 09-20-2009, 04:40 PM
 
11 posts, read 33,763 times
Reputation: 19
Sorry to hear your bad experiences living @ the dorm and FL in general. I am probably one of the worst people to ask because I know the area and so I agree with you. I am from up north and I have lived in South Fl and now North Fl, which I can tolerate better then South FL. I do try my best and stay positive but I just have a difficult time adjusting. I am planning to leave once I finish my degree, I am attending college online so I can go anytime but it's difficult because I have an 11 year old who just started middle school, but she does not like it either. And like you I do like the weather and up here the winters are awesome, but that's about it.


I can say that I have tried it and feel people really cannot understand me and then question how I can not like living in one of the US top beach area?

Have you joined a club/association at the school? Have you gone to other areas out of Boca?
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Old 09-20-2009, 04:42 PM
 
Location: Palm Island and North Port
7,486 posts, read 19,856,660 times
Reputation: 2803
Quote:
Originally Posted by TD* View Post
New college is expensive as sin!
Umm..no. New College consistently ranks as one of the most affordable colleges in the state for the education you get. I think you might be thinking of another college. The Princeton Review has it ranked as #2 for Top 10 best value colleges- http://www.princetonreview.com/NewCollegeofFlorida.aspx

What about joining a few clubs that may interest you? Doesn't your college have anything going on for the students?

Last edited by SoFLGal; 09-20-2009 at 05:12 PM..
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Old 09-20-2009, 04:48 PM
 
Location: Miami North (Orlando)
976 posts, read 837,092 times
Reputation: 194
Quote:
Originally Posted by forty six & two View Post
I'm from the Boston area, a college student, who wanted to escape the winter and snow. I left everything behind to start over new at Florida Atlantic University. I'm soon finding out how much of a hell this place is.

The weather is great; the people are horrible. Here's a sum of the adjectives I can use to describe all of the people I've met in the Boca area: antisocial, sheltered, snobby, stuck up, shallow, boring, soul-less, unmotivated, withdrawn, unadventurous, unexciting, uninteresting, narrow-minded.

At college up north I lived in the dorms. Everyone knew each other, everyone hung out with each other, and everyone was friends and actually did things. I had a million friends.

But I was suffering from seasonal affective disorder. I had to get away from winter. So I came to FAU at the end of August to live in the dorms.

Everyone is segregated by race it seems. Sheltered and narrow-minded. Blacks hang out with blacks and whites hang out with whites.

Everyone seems to hang out with that one person they meet because they're either too anxiety prone or unmotivated to meet new people. Everyone stays in their room and form almost an unbreakable social barrier around themselves. They might seem nice, but it's superficial. They don't want to hang out or meet new people, they stick with what they know. No one seems to have substance or a personality. It's like I'm surrounded by mindless, soulless zombies, like I'm playing "The Sims."

I know a bunch of people are going to come and tell me to work hard, go out and make it happen blah blah blah. I have been. I've met literally two friends since Ive been here, and our bonds aren't even strong. I've been here an entire month and have never been more lonely in my life.

My opinion: the only good thing about Florida is the sunny, warm weather. Nothing else.

Am I missing something?

The first thing you did wrong was moved to Boca Raton. About the people, I dont know if I'd consider them unadventurous, uninteresting or unexciting, but rude, anti-social and stuck up... YES. In general, but look at who's drawn to that area - those people mainly.
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Old 09-20-2009, 04:55 PM
 
Location: Lovely swampy humid Miami!
1,973 posts, read 3,738,187 times
Reputation: 1015
Quote:
Originally Posted by forty six & two View Post
I'm from the Boston area, a college student, who wanted to escape the winter and snow. I left everything behind to start over new at Florida Atlantic University. I'm soon finding out how much of a hell this place is.

The weather is great; the people are horrible. Here's a sum of the adjectives I can use to describe all of the people I've met in the Boca area: antisocial, sheltered, snobby, stuck up, shallow, boring, soul-less, unmotivated, withdrawn, unadventurous, unexciting, uninteresting, narrow-minded.

At college up north I lived in the dorms. Everyone knew each other, everyone hung out with each other, and everyone was friends and actually did things. I had a million friends.

But I was suffering from seasonal affective disorder. I had to get away from winter. So I came to FAU at the end of August to live in the dorms.

Everyone is segregated by race it seems. Sheltered and narrow-minded. Blacks hang out with blacks and whites hang out with whites.

Everyone seems to hang out with that one person they meet because they're either too anxiety prone or unmotivated to meet new people. Everyone stays in their room and form almost an unbreakable social barrier around themselves. They might seem nice, but it's superficial. They don't want to hang out or meet new people, they stick with what they know. No one seems to have substance or a personality. It's like I'm surrounded by mindless, soulless zombies, like I'm playing "The Sims."

I know a bunch of people are going to come and tell me to work hard, go out and make it happen blah blah blah. I have been. I've met literally two friends since Ive been here, and our bonds aren't even strong. I've been here an entire month and have never been more lonely in my life.

My opinion: the only good thing about Florida is the sunny, warm weather. Nothing else.

Am I missing something?
I have encountered the same kind of culture shock when I moved to San Diego because it is a Southern California city and the population is fairly transient(not homeless, just on the move).

The best advice I could give you is find a place you like and "be a local" there. Maintain a presence. Be seen. Notice who the other locals are. They're not really going to take the time to get to know you unless it seems like they're going to see you again. You do not necessarily even need to engage them in conversation. Usually they'll come to you to find out what your story is.
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Old 09-20-2009, 04:58 PM
 
Location: Lovely swampy humid Miami!
1,973 posts, read 3,738,187 times
Reputation: 1015
Oh, and for Christ's sake, stay out of bars!
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