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Old 02-03-2011, 07:43 PM
 
229 posts, read 249,558 times
Reputation: 165

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For some people it is more comfortable to hold their fork with a clenched fist due to disabilities are whatever... I know for certain I would NEVER want to have dinner with anyone who was paying attention to the way I eat. That would just be wrong and so very annoying. How can you enjoy your dinner or your company if that's how you are? What a Superficial way to live. Must do everything just so, Must Be Proper at all times. Oh how Joyous Life would be if we live it in a way that we must constantly portray to others that we are something so special, so proper, so right. Everyone else might think that you are flawless, but you're so busy portraying yourself a certain way that you forget to live. You forget to love and you'll never know who you real even are because you are not anyone but a showpiece to how others shall eat...
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Old 02-03-2011, 08:13 PM
 
Location: San Antonio/Houston
21,631 posts, read 23,853,112 times
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I just think that good manners should be a second nature. Manners should be instilled in a child at an early age so that when they grow it will be natural.
Good manners go a long way in most societies. Mannerly people are more likely to get ahead in the world of business, and they also find themselves more commonly invited as guests and welcomed in society. Travelers should learn specific rules of conduct to fit in as they visit other countries.
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Old 02-03-2011, 08:39 PM
 
2,060 posts, read 3,101,844 times
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Looks it's not as if we're obsessively watching how others eat and then loudly pointing it out and criticizing them for it in public. It's just an observation we make from time to time and happened to post about on an Internet forum with friends. If you are having such a problem with us discussing our observations (that are based on quite strict rules we were brought up with and have not seen broken for around 30 years in most cases), then perhaps you should stop reading!
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Old 02-03-2011, 08:45 PM
 
Location: New York
1,339 posts, read 1,328,656 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kickinit View Post
For some people it is more comfortable to hold their fork with a clenched fist due to disabilities are whatever... I know for certain I would NEVER want to have dinner with anyone who was paying attention to the way I eat. That would just be wrong and so very annoying. How can you enjoy your dinner or your company if that's how you are? What a Superficial way to live. Must do everything just so, Must Be Proper at all times. Oh how Joyous Life would be if we live it in a way that we must constantly portray to others that we are something so special, so proper, so right. Everyone else might think that you are flawless, but you're so busy portraying yourself a certain way that you forget to live. You forget to love and you'll never know who you real even are because you are not anyone but a showpiece to how others shall eat...
I'm not sure why having manners makes me superficial. I eat and have table manners that were taught to me as a child. I don't have to think about them, they are second nature and I don't see how this can be said to be 'portraying' anything. My post is an observation of different acceptable dining habits...... not a personal character attack which is what I feel yours is.
I don't know anyone who would think I was 'flawless' nor would I want to be. To be quite frank to tell someone you have never even met that they
'forget to love and you'll never know who you real even are because you are not anyone but a showpiece to how others shall eat...' is rather asinine.
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Old 02-03-2011, 09:17 PM
 
Location: Silver Springs, FL
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Some of the inane comments here are laughable, considering that etiquette was developed so everyone would know how to act in social situations.

HISTORY OF ETIQUETTE
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Old 02-03-2011, 09:51 PM
 
Location: Edmond, OK
4,019 posts, read 5,062,098 times
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Without table manners, we would all just eat with our hands.

No one is going to be tested here or anything, it's simply a discussion about manners, or the lack thereof. Some people must feel extremely inadequate when in public, if they feel the need to attack others for simply discussing what most of us consider social norms.
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Old 02-03-2011, 10:17 PM
 
229 posts, read 249,558 times
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Today the emphasis is no longer on the pretentiousness of the Victorian Era, but rather making sure that both guests and hosts are relaxed, and that they enjoy each other. Etiquette can be very different for different people depending on their country of origin and other factors. I am not trying to make fun of you at all. I'm just saying what I have observed of some people who consider themselves of a higher social standing than others. In Arabic Countries people sit on the floor to eat. In farming communities it is not uncommon to butcher a cow and cook some steak while a half of a cow is being cut up and wrapped on the table. In many families they are taught to enjoy the food and enjoy each other first and foremost. Manners comes after respect and comfort for all who are present.
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Old 02-04-2011, 07:50 AM
 
Location: New York
1,339 posts, read 1,328,656 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kshe95girl View Post
Some of the inane comments here are laughable, considering that etiquette was developed so everyone would know how to act in social situations.

HISTORY OF ETIQUETTE
Great Link - My Mum was of the 'Children should be seen and not heard' school....
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Old 02-04-2011, 10:43 AM
 
Location: San Antonio/Houston
21,631 posts, read 23,853,112 times
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^^^ Yes! That's an Old School - and nothing wrong with it! If a good manners are second nature then it takes no effort to act accordingly.
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Old 02-04-2011, 11:03 AM
 
Location: Canada
3,192 posts, read 2,796,429 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by elnina View Post
^^^ Yes! That's an Old School - and nothing wrong with it! If a good manners are second nature then it takes no effort to act accordingly.
That's the problem with the whole concept of table manners in that people who don't know how to eat 'properly' are usually acting according to the principle of 'second nature' as well. They are modelling what they learned (or didn't learn) as children.

I am not against knowing proper table manners but there are very few people - and I've never come across one - who deliberately use what they know to be bad table manners. I suspect that the person dense enough to do so on purpose would not care whether he or she embarrassed himself and therefore could not be embarrassed into stopping, but the same cannot be said of someone exhibiting 'improper' table manners because those are the manners they learned at home.

Personally, I eat the European way, but I would never look at someone who wasn't as not using their best manners.

The first rule of all good manners is never to make another feel uncomfortable - and that is more important than how you hold your fork or knife. Like kickinit, I do believe that there are some people who elevate 'manners' to a superficial level where form becomes more important than making your guests feel comfortable. And that is very, very bad manners. I know a person who was laughed at a dinner because he did not know what a fish fork was.
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