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Old 08-19-2012, 06:43 PM
Location: Chapel Hill, N.C.
33,738 posts, read 29,448,857 times
Reputation: 41248


I know for a fact my family is EXTREMELY spoiled. They sit down to a meal of fresh and tasy food almost every night. They are aware of how much time and thought I put into my recipe choices, shopping and preparation. Would it be too much to expect a "This is really good dear/Mama" or even "Too much salt tonight". I need to know (and I've told them this) so I can know if I should change anything or even serve it again.

To be fair my 10 y.o. girls help in the kitchen and at least 1 of them will say "I like this recipe Mama" but half the time I have to ask "How did I do tonight?" Whenever I ask I get enthusiastic comments or even "I was just getting ready to tell you I really like this". I don't ask too soon either as I know they need some time and a few bites. I guess the real culprit is my husband who is off in his own little world half the time.

So do you have to fish for a compliment or does your family compliment you without being beat over the head?

ETA :Guess this is a bit of a rant because I worked really hard tonight and got ZILCH even though they ate it all up. And I'm sorry but a clean plate is not a compliment! and oh yeah---I've been married for 36 years so you would think I'd be used to it by now but it still bothers me.
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Old 08-19-2012, 06:46 PM
Location: Islip,NY
13,850 posts, read 13,692,647 times
Reputation: 12663
Nope my family tells me right away that my cooking is good especially my husband. If it's a so so meal he will tell me. I will sometimes ask family members if it's good especially when it's a new recipe I am trying.
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Old 08-19-2012, 06:50 PM
Location: Denver area
18,619 posts, read 16,813,215 times
Reputation: 25621
If I'm trying something new and no one has offered a comment, I'll come right out and ask if this recipe is a keeper or not. Otherwise I don't expect a compliment every night. My family would usually say something even if it's simply thanks for dinner mom. I guess I never really thought about it though.

ETA....thinking about it if someone knows I made a lot of effort and/or made a particular favorite, I think there is usually a commment made about it being good.

Last edited by maciesmom; 08-19-2012 at 07:10 PM..
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Old 08-19-2012, 06:53 PM
934 posts, read 1,174,752 times
Reputation: 2215
My husband just says - it's ok. Sometimes that means it's ok, or it's good, or I can eat it tonight but I don't especially want to eat it again.
In response to my occasional rants, my 18 year old son has mentioned how good dinner was every now and then.
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Old 08-19-2012, 07:35 PM
11,538 posts, read 17,106,356 times
Reputation: 13097
I handle complaints in a different way. "Great, my cooking is no good. You may always take over the responsibility."

I get few complaints.
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Old 08-19-2012, 07:41 PM
Location: Volcano
12,971 posts, read 17,250,164 times
Reputation: 10271
Originally Posted by no kudzu View Post
So do you have to fish for a compliment or does your family compliment you without being beat over the head?
I don't expect compliments, but I do expect appreciation. But then again, I do my best to live my life in a state of appreciation for everything I receive, and I really want to see that value expressed in the everyday lives of my family members, too. And what is a family mealtime without communication and expressions of love? A bunch of inarticulate robots stuffing their pieholes with fuel, that's all.

To break up that pattern that people can easily drift into... kids all wrapped up in relationship dramas... spouse buried in the latest crisis from work... I have been known to stage an intervention from time to time.

"Hey, what's this?"
"It's dinner."
"But it's just oatmeal!?"
"Yeah, what about it?"
"But it's just oatmeal!?"
"So what happened to having a real meal?"
"That IS a real meal. Put some salt on it."
"No, I mean, what happened to the way we usually eat"
"You don't like the way we usually eat. So I decided not to bother any longer."
"What do you mean?!!"
"I mean you never say anything about liking anything I make, so obviously you do NOT like what I usually make. So I decided to stop trying. If you don't like anything I make, and can't ever say anything nice about it, why should I work so hard to try to please you? Go ahead, eat your oatmeal... don't want to go hungry!"
"You're insane! Do you know that? You're just insane."
"I know, I know. I love you too. Please pass the pepper."

Works like a charm. Repeat as necessary. Feel free to improvise on the basic recipe.
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Old 08-19-2012, 07:52 PM
Location: Edmond, OK
4,032 posts, read 7,039,404 times
Reputation: 4049
When my kids were young, they didn't say much, except to complain if we were having something they didn't like. Now, they never complain and usually rave about what I cook, but they are all grown up and in college now and they appreciate anything that doesn't come out of a paper bag, or a styrofoam box. Plus now that they cook for themselves they realize how much work it is. When they are home, I will usually ask what they want to eat, but most of the time they tell me they don't care what I cook. They always complement what I cook.

Now when they were younger, about 8 and 9, one Christmas I spent days cooking a big meal just for the 4 of us. All they did was complain, I don't like this, I don't want that. I had a complete meltdown at the dinner table. I had to get up and leave the table. I was so mad and so hurt. From that point on, I think they realized how hard I worked and they became much more polite about it. Even if they didn't like it, they usually kept their mouths shut.

My husband has always complemented what I cook. Most nights, he will tell me its good. If it's a new recipe, he usually asks me where I got it. At most, he will tell me that he would prefer it if I not cook a particular dish again. He will always eat, whatever I cook.
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Old 08-19-2012, 08:01 PM
Location: Central Texas
17,892 posts, read 29,518,772 times
Reputation: 16238
My husband is as likely as not to start thinking about what would make the dish better, but that's the way he is. In its way it is a compliment because it means that he's paying attention to what I'm serving, he knows I'm a good cook, and he knows that I like to try new things. This does not preclude him saying, as he did tonight spontaneously, "Mmmmm!" when tasting something new that I've prepared.

When you've been married 40 years you learn to read the code and not expect compliments to be as obvious as you wanted them to be when you were younger.

I think the biggest compliment my kids have given me is that they've both grown up to be adventurous eaters and wonderful cooks in their own right.
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Old 08-19-2012, 09:02 PM
4,819 posts, read 3,999,994 times
Reputation: 5967
No, I don't expect my family to compliment me on my cooking. However, if they're hungry, they have to eat what I cook, otherwise they will go to bed hungry. It's that simple!!
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Old 08-19-2012, 09:25 PM
1,050 posts, read 929,386 times
Reputation: 2652
I am a very good cook. I do get thanked/complimented, but it certainly isn't a daily occurrence. Sometimes, I think I have made something especially good and I get no comments at all. I think I have set the bar so high my family expects to eat something very delicious every day and so it just the norm. However, there are lots of anticipatory sniffs and trips through the kitchen as I cook and just the fact they are looking forward to what I am making for them is thanks enough.

They express thanks for many things, I don't think I am taken for granted.
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