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I appreciate the comments that offer suggestions for improvements (i.e. "I added some lemon zest to give the flavor a little brightness" or "I seared the meat before putting it in the crock pot for extra color and flavor"). Those are helpful comments.
I HATE the comments that say "I followed this recipe, except I used chicken instead of beef, and I left out the mushrooms, and I didn't have sour cream, so I used butter and lemon juice, and it was GREAT!" Uhhhhh ... then you didn't make beef stroganoff, you made chicken piccata.
It's really sort of scary to know that the people who make those comments (and while I realize you were using hyperbole, they were not actually very far off the mark) walk among us. They drive cars. They vote. They reproduce.
This is just meant in a light hearted way, but you know you've seen this:
“I didn’t have any eggs, so I replaced them with a banana-chia-flaxseed pulse. It turned out terrible; this recipe is terrible.”
“I don’t have any of these ingredients at home. Could you rewrite this based on the food I do have in my house? I’m not going to tell you what food I have. You have to guess.”
“I don’t eat white flour, so I tried making it with raw almonds that I’d activated by chewing them with my mouth open to receive direct sunlight, and it turned out terrible. This recipe is terrible.”
“Could you please give the metric weight measurements, and sometime in the next twenty minutes; I’m making this for a dinner party and my guests are already here.”
“I don't have an oven, can i still make this? please reply immediately.”
“Does anyone know if you can make this ahead of time and freeze it?”
“Have you thought about making a sugar-free version of this?
”
“Can you give us a calorie breakdown for this?”
“I followed this to the letter, except I substituted walnuts and tofu for the skirt steak, ditched the cheese entirely, and replaced the starch with a turnip salad. Turned out great. My seven-year-old boys have never seen a dessert and I’ve convinced them that walnut-and-turnip salad is “cake.” Thanks for the recipe!”
“I’m having a lot of trouble signing up for your newsletter. Can you please assist?”
“A warning that if you cook this at 275°F for three hours instead of at 400°F for twenty-five minutes its completely ruined. do you have any suggestions?”
“I didn’t have buttermilk, so I just poured baking soda into a container of raspberry yogurt. It tasted terrible.”
“I love this recipe! I added garlic powder, Italian seasoning, a few flakes of nutritional yeast, half a bottle of kombucha, za’atar, dried onion, and biscuit mix to mine. Great idea!”
“Due to dietary restrictions, I am only able to eat Yatzhee dice. I made the necessary substitutions, and it turned out great.”
“If you use olive oil for any recipe that’s cooked over 450°F, the oil will denature and you will get cancer. This post is irresponsible. You should only use grapeseed oil you’ve pressed yourself in a very cold room.”
“I just started Paleo yesterday, and I’m wondering if there’s a way to make this without the ingredients.”
“this was a very good post for your recipe you made, i made a similar recipe over at my blog last month, please consider linking back.”
thanks: cute post l but I think some comparisons or questions are legit or the last one, I have a similar recipe. NO, I don't mean "go to my blog, but sometimes we all like to mention we have a similar one. Still thanks again for a light hearted thread.
Thanks for the laugh, Praline! I get a kick out of reading the comments on these recipes. I usually read through a few myself for tips before making a recipe, too. A lot of them really are helpful. Of course, along with the helpful ones you get the "animal fats will k*ll you" and "its not organic" comments.
As someone else mentioned, suggestions on tweaking the preparation or seasoning are helpful but those that don't follow the recipe and then complain it's bad are ludicrous.
I have to laugh at the commenters who read a recipe for curry then whine that they don't like Indian food and state they would never make that recipe. Apparently, they are under the impression that there is a rule that no one is allowed to post a recipe for a dish the commenter wouldn't like.
I have to laugh at the commenters who read a recipe for curry then whine that they don't like Indian food and state they would never make that recipe...
Very funny and very true.
My two biggest that drive me nuts have already been mentioned.
First those that rate a recipe before they try it. Why? Just why?
Then I hate those that, for example, make something with the word spicy or hot in the recipe name and then rate it low because they don't like spicy food. I once read a review for balsamic chicken that a reviewer hated because they hated the taste of balsamic vinegar. Why would you think a dish with balsamic right in the name would not have a balsamic taste?
So true! Sometimes it's impossible to gind any comments from people who actually tried the recipe.
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