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Old 07-06-2016, 12:53 PM
 
Location: Mid-Atlantic east coast
7,055 posts, read 12,561,737 times
Reputation: 15842

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Do any of you have foodie friends who can be a bit over-critical? Or a lot? One friend, a very good cook, has gotten quite annoying when we eat out. She critiques everything for spices, prep, presentation, service, etc. etc. She knows how to make the dish better.

It's gotten to the point where I hate to spend my money eating out with her as she seems so dis-pleased with her food. It's hard to enjoy myself.

I like food a lot and am a decent cook myself, but when I go out I tend to enjoy the scene, the joy of having food made for me, and having a few laughs with friends. Sure, some meals are better than others...but so what? Unless it's unpalatable slop, I don't tend to harp on it.

I wish she weren't so picky...

Any of you have friends like this?? Right now, I'm hesitant to dine out with her anymore. Might as well eat with easy going friends, my DH, or even by myself!
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Old 07-06-2016, 01:11 PM
 
Location: Tricity, PL
61,077 posts, read 85,858,261 times
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Yup, she is annoying. Ask her to choose a place to eat. When she still criticize everything, just tell her how you feel.
She is your friend, no? Other than that I would just avoid going out to eat with her. After a while she would wonder, then you tell her ...
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Old 07-06-2016, 01:19 PM
 
Location: Mid-Atlantic east coast
7,055 posts, read 12,561,737 times
Reputation: 15842
Quote:
Originally Posted by elnina View Post
Yup, she is annoying. Ask her to choose a place to eat. When she still criticize everything, just tell her how you feel.
She is your friend, no? Other than that I would just avoid going out to eat with her. After a while she would wonder, then you tell her ...
That's just what I did..and now she's upset with me...told me I hurt her feelings. I tried to be gentle, but guess it didn't work. Oh well, I'd suffered long enough. Felt abused with the negativity. And her critique happens whether or not she picked the restaurant..I think it's a form of entertainment or personal elevation for her is all I can figure out.
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Old 07-06-2016, 01:38 PM
 
Location: Colorado
1,711 posts, read 3,585,053 times
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Hubby and I are musicians, we can't help criticizing when we listen to a piece of music. sigh.... I can only hope we are not annoying about it!

As far as your friend, I guess I'd go blunt or just to try to change the subject when she gets into one of her "explanations."

I'd likely say, "I'm really enjoying the food and know you could make it better, but why don't we talk about....."
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Old 07-06-2016, 01:42 PM
 
Location: Texas
44,257 posts, read 64,051,768 times
Reputation: 73913
Quote:
Originally Posted by LittleDolphin View Post
Do any of you have foodie friends who can be a bit over-critical? Or a lot? One friend, a very good cook, has gotten quite annoying when we eat out. She critiques everything for spices, prep, presentation, service, etc. etc. She knows how to make the dish better.

lf!
My mother is like this.
Thing is, she really can make everything better.

Frankly, I don't have any other friends like this, but I don't like to be around anyone who is chronically negative about anything.
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Old 07-06-2016, 02:15 PM
 
1,908 posts, read 2,220,416 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LittleDolphin View Post
That's just what I did..and now she's upset with me...told me I hurt her feelings. I tried to be gentle, but guess it didn't work. Oh well, I'd suffered long enough. Felt abused with the negativity. And her critique happens whether or not she picked the restaurant..I think it's a form of entertainment or personal elevation for her is all I can figure out.


It sounds like her issues aren't just with food. She's probably a narcissist. Nothing will ever please her, nothing and no one will ever be good enough for her, and everything will always be about her. Any disagreement or objection to her behavior, no matter how justified or how gently presented, will generate anger and recrimination. Run. Run far away. Find new friends. There are plenty of nice people in the world. You don't need to waste your friendship on selfish, critical people.
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Old 07-06-2016, 02:45 PM
 
Location: Laguna Beach CA
129 posts, read 77,487 times
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I do have a couple of friends like that. One in particular, and she is one of my favorite people in the world, but I dread eating out with her. Coffee and walks are much more fun ways to spend time with her.

This might sound a little crazy, but when people spew negativity over a meal, I feel like that "energy" affects the food itself, and I don't like the idea of "eating" negative energy.

I love to eat, and I love my family and friends, and I LOVE happy times spent with them eating and laughing and having a wonderful time.

That's how it should be!
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Old 07-06-2016, 04:46 PM
 
Location: Fort Lauderdale, Florida
11,936 posts, read 12,995,769 times
Reputation: 27076
Quote:
Originally Posted by LittleDolphin View Post
Do any of you have foodie friends who can be a bit over-critical? Or a lot? One friend, a very good cook, has gotten quite annoying when we eat out. She critiques everything for spices, prep, presentation, service, etc. etc. She knows how to make the dish better.

It's gotten to the point where I hate to spend my money eating out with her as she seems so dis-pleased with her food. It's hard to enjoy myself.

!
My husband is a chef by education but is in the upper stratosphere of restaurant management.

Restaurant people dislike difficult foodies. They tend to be nit picky to the extreme, hard to please, have a false sense of superiority, and are overall a$$holes.

Let your friend go eat by herself.

Ten minutes in the actual restaurant business would disabuse her of her critical ways.

There is one of those here in Fort Lauderdale that runs a blog that no one reads. He never gives anyone over a 2 1/2 stars and is very angry.
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Old 07-06-2016, 04:47 PM
 
19,957 posts, read 29,993,449 times
Reputation: 39982
its funny as kids,,,we always had older siblings, or friends or parents to say "cut the b.s"

as adults....no one keeps anyone in check,,,,,and god forbid you make a judgement


years ago a friend of a friend came out to dinner with us,,,,,i was treating after a fundraiser....well, this one young lady ripped into this defenseless waitress until she was crying,,, all because the fork had a spot on it,,,

then she complained about everything suck any positive vibes we had,,,,,she was like one large pile of dung..


after calling the waitress over the 4th time I loudly dropped my silverware,,,stepped over to her...leaned down and whispered..."if you are so g.d. miserable,,,get out of here and eat on the sidewalk,,,, I gave the waitress a 20.00 bill and apologized for this mean B right in front of her,,,, the rest of the table started clapping,,and she reluctantly left ,,,her friend said I was a bit rude,,,and one other lady's said I was going to dump my soup on her head at any moment - what she did to that waitress was grounds of hitting her..



don't feel alone or bad you said anything...

its too bad some people in the world are so damn controlling and petty
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Old 07-06-2016, 04:49 PM
 
Location: Mid-Atlantic
32,757 posts, read 35,956,419 times
Reputation: 43470
I hate to say it, but I'm a bit like that. I learned to zip and shut up many years ago. No one wants to hear it.
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