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Old 12-22-2008, 10:36 AM
 
206 posts, read 632,667 times
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Or is it just tacky to send a list of demands before you guest have even had a chance to ask what they can bring?
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Old 12-22-2008, 10:44 AM
 
Location: The Hall of Justice
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Sorry, yes. If you can't afford to host a party, don't have one. Informal, casual potlucks are okay, but not for formal parties.
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Old 12-22-2008, 10:45 AM
 
Location: Looking East and hoping!
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If your invite states pot-luck I see no problem.
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Old 12-22-2008, 10:47 AM
 
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I think it is ok to ask people to bring a dish at the time of the invitation.
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Old 12-22-2008, 10:48 AM
 
Location: Fruita, CO
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I'd ask family members or best friends, but otherwise not unless they ask.
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Old 12-22-2008, 10:51 AM
 
Location: Central Texas
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Depends on what the practice is in your social group, and what kind of "formal dinner party" it is.

Also, as said above, what the invitation said. If it is asked at the time of the invitation, that's another matter.

More details, please?
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Old 12-22-2008, 10:55 AM
 
Location: State of Being
35,885 posts, read 67,160,016 times
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First of all - semantics. Do you even know what a "formal" party is? B/c there is no way on this green earth someone would have a FORMAL sit down dinner, w/ everyone in tuxes and cocktail dresses, and w/ a hired bartender and pianist and waiters . . . and ask you to bring a thing.

However, the expected etiquette would be for the guests to show up w/ a hostess gift, i.e. nice bottle of wine or some gift for their home.
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Old 12-22-2008, 11:00 AM
 
Location: The Hall of Justice
25,906 posts, read 36,330,114 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by anifani821 View Post
However, the expected etiquette would be for the guests to show up w/ a hostess gift, i.e. nice bottle of wine or some gift for their home.
True, but you also don't expect the host to necessarily open the bottle at that time. Like you said, it's a thank-you gift. It's not expected that guests will supply the alcohol (or desserts or whatever) for a nice party. I don't think you meant it that way ... just clarifying in case anyone is confused.

It's nice when people offer to bring something when we have them over for dinner, but I don't expect them to and I usually politely decline. I like cooking for people and knowing what's going to be on my table.
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Old 12-22-2008, 11:03 AM
 
206 posts, read 632,667 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JustJulia View Post
Sorry, yes. If you can't afford to host a party, don't have one. Informal, casual potlucks are okay, but not for formal parties.

Thanks, I just wanted peace of mind that my thought on this was correct. I believe that you should not ask or require your guest to bring food to a dinner unless it is a potluck. However, I do believe in always asking the host what can I bring, at which point the host usually will say this or that. I personally think it is just tacky to invite people to dinner and then tell them to bring ...... Let them ask first
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Old 12-22-2008, 11:07 AM
 
Location: Central Texas
20,413 posts, read 37,807,118 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pennylove76 View Post
Thanks, I just wanted peace of mind that my thought on this was correct. I believe that you should not ask or require your guest to bring food to a dinner unless it is a potluck. However, I do believe in always asking the host what can I bring, at which point the host usually will say this or that. I personally think it is just tacky to invite people to dinner and then tell them to bring ...... Let them ask first
Well, it was clear that you were looking for a specific answer when you asked the question, but there were several different responses here.

Were you asked on the invitation (or with it) to bring something? In other words, was it made clear that it was a potluck, albeit perhaps a "dress up" potluck, initially?

Is it going to be as described above, in the first paragraph of the post that you responded to, full tilt formal? In that case, I can't imagine the host(ess) asking the guests to bring a thing.

Are dinner parties of any kind common in your crowd? If so, whatever's normal would seem to be what would be the appropriate behavior.

Way too little information, all of it from one side, to give a valid answer to this one.
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