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I was watching Dr Phil and he was talking about picky eaters. He said if the kid won't eat what is in front of him, don't make them anything else. That kids won't starve and if they get hungry enough they will eat.
That's a croc! As a child I was told "you will sit there until you eat it" and was left at the table until bedtime with the food in front of me. I was offered that same food for breakfast before being sent to school with it in my lunchbox. I was parked in front of it when I got home from school and sat there until bedtime. This scenario played out many times in my childhood. It never accomplished anything.
The rule in my house is, when dining out at someone elses house you take a small amount of everything served and you can then take more of what you like later (this doesn't mean one eats nothing but dinner rolls and leaves none for other diners however!). You can at least try everything. You might be surprised. If I am aware of allergies of course I will work around that but in general picky eaters drive me insane. If a person is taking the trouble to cook and serve a dinner for you, the very least you can do is try it and be polite. I am not one for cooking additional meals for children. Given the choice, most young kids would eat nothting but chicken nuggets and fries. In my mind, parents who allow this are doing their children a huge disservice -not only nutritionally but in cultivating the attitude that the world revolves around them and they should only have to do things they enjoy in life. If I was making a dish I knew was not a favorite of a family member, I would try to make sure I at least made a side dish that they could eat more of.....
That's a croc! As a child I was told "you will sit there until you eat it" and was left at the table until bedtime with the food in front of me. I was offered that same food for breakfast before being sent to school with it in my lunchbox. I was parked in front of it when I got home from school and sat there until bedtime. This scenario played out many times in my childhood. It never accomplished anything.
I agree with you. Kids aren't really known for their reasoning abilities. It just doesn't seem very productive to me to win a battle over a plate of food and send them to school frustrated and hungry.
No sense in reserving cold food to make a point. That is just turning it into a battle of wills. I do agree in not making separate dishes though. If one is hungry enough one will eat it. If one isn't hungry, then fine, breakfast is the next meal. No biggee.
I find it rude, and I say this as one who will not eat raw onions under any circumstance. Once they are cooked, I am fine, but even as a kid I could not digest them properly and would have a quesy stomach for days afterward. This annoyed my mother to no end (she loves raw onion sandwiches) and she would get terribly upset when I would remind her each spring that I wouldn't eat the potato salad if she put onions in it. She felt I was holding her hostage. I found this attitude really puzzling because both my brother have dietary issues, and that is no problem.
I have no priblem respecting people's legitimate dietary issues, but I am annoyed when people won't eat something because they don't like one ingredient. My standard answer is that I don't care for flour right out of bag, but I sure like it in cake and cookies. My philosphy is that I can usually find at least one way that I like most things. As a result, there very few things that I don't eat prepared at least one way. I don't care for mashed rutabaga, but I wouldn't dream of making pasties without it, and I think it improves the flavor of hobo stew by adding low notes to the overall flavor. I am not crazy about okra either, but you can't make real gumbo without it. Last summer I made dirty rice for a family-do at my SILs. After dinner, something was said about chicken livers and her adult daughters went on about how gross they are (a view I do not share). I just laughed and said you just ate them, and you raved about the rice and couldn't get enough, maybe you should expand your parameters and think about the overall flavor instead of the particular ingredients. I figure what they don't know won't hurt them. My FIL has terribly high cholesterol. Being Eastern European, he loves sour cream, but wouldn't be caught dead eating yogurt. I used to substitute plain yogurt for the sour cream in savory dishes and vanilla yogurt for the sour cream in sweet dishes. He would never ask for the recipe because he wasn't about to give me the satisfaction of a compliment, but he would ask about the ingredients, thinking he could duplicate it. I would respond, well, the recipe calls for so-and-so. He never caught on.
Last edited by MICoastieMom; 05-24-2009 at 08:54 AM..
Reason: fixed typo
That's a croc! As a child I was told "you will sit there until you eat it" and was left at the table until bedtime with the food in front of me. I was offered that same food for breakfast before being sent to school with it in my lunchbox. I was parked in front of it when I got home from school and sat there until bedtime. This scenario played out many times in my childhood. It never accomplished anything.
My impression is that he was not advocating the above approach at all and would agree with you that it's detrimental. The point was just that if a child won't eat what you're serving at that meal, it's ok. They can pick around at what they can manage and if they don't have a full meal so be it - there will be different meals for breakfast, lunch, and dinner the next day and somewhere among the variety that's being offered, the child will find something to eat and sustain himself.
Quote:
Originally Posted by maciesmom
Given the choice, most young kids would eat nothting but chicken nuggets and fries. In my mind, parents who allow this are doing their children a huge disservice -not only nutritionally but in cultivating the attitude that the world revolves around them and they should only have to do things they enjoy in life.
This is my precise real-world example with my 10 year old niece!
I can understand about allergies you wouldn't want to put someone's health or life in danger. I ask people coming over if they have any dietary issues.
I love your trick with the yogurt. If someone doesn't know what is in the food they will eat it. My best friend is or I should say was a picky eater. There were stuff she never grew up with and was hesitant to try. I would have her over for dinner and would include at least one new dish. She would try a bit of it and if she didn't like it she would at least try it and I knew the next time not to fix it for her.
Dr Phil wasn't advocating you make the kid sit there all night. What the above poster said is correct. Let them eat what they can and go on.
I have a friend who is an extreme vegan. I love to have her and her husband to visit because we are friends. Her husband is not a vegan and will eat anything I cook. As I respect her choice, I offered once to cook for her, but she insisted on knowing everything that went into the food and if I had used the pots and pans to cook any meat items in before, and in the end ate nothing. That was a little over the top for me.
We finally agreed to disagree and, now when she comes, she brings her own food with her and we all have a good time.
My kids were taught to at least take a small bit of whatever is offered, if it was something they really detested I told them they were allowed to leave it on the plate. I don't consider it rude unless they complain, make faces or rude noises.
I don't expect that everybody likes the same things I like to cook either, and I'm not offended if they leave the bits they don't like.
One of my kids doesn't care for cake and as a child frequently found herself having to explain why she only ate a bite or two of the 'delicious' cake that was set in front of her. Sometimes people made a really big deal about it. If someone doesn't care for something and doesn't finish it, why would anyone else bring attention to the fact? That is rude too.
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