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Oh so many...
1. Pizza box in oven catches on fire
2. Baked fish in a glass dish placed on a cold surface while still very hot, explodes salmon all over the kitchen
3. Used salt in a baking recipe instead of sugar
4. Burned food & pots many times
5. Dropped glass dish with hot food all over kitchen
6. Slipped and fell with plates of food in my hand, food all over the dining room
7. Tried many new recipes that ended up terrible and in the trash
8. When I was a server in the restuarant biz.: dropped a strawberry daq. all over a womans fur coat (heehee), dropped a hugh container of creamy italian dressing all over me, dropped a hugh container of fajita sauce all over a co-worker that just started her shift, dropped a full pot of hot coffee just made all over me (and still took care of my tables while crying), fell with a large bag of trash that went up in the area and came down on me.
More but can't remember them all....I'm a clutz
I invited 20 co-workers over to the house for a chili dinner. The night before, I decided to make three different types of chili - Cincinnati-style, Texas, and a Turkey-chipotle chili.
I had the first two completed and cooking and I started to work on the chipotle chili which involved placing chipotle peppers and tomatillos in a blender. I filled up the bowl with the ingredients and hit the start button. What I had failed to do was to fasten the bottom of the blender. What a mess. I had the mixture all over the kitchen. It was hard to curse as I was laughing so hard. All my experience and I could miss something so basic.
I cleaned up. The next night, the guests all arrived. The kitchen was spotless as all the chile was prepared the night before and all I had to do was to heat everything up. At the end of the meal, on of the guy asks., "Where did you BUY all this chili?" He said I couldn't have made it because the kitchen was too clean. Ever had the urge to kill?
This didn't happen in MY kitchen, and it happened to DH and our oldest daughter actually, but I was the one who got to clean up the worst of it. When our oldest was two years old, I worked 3 to midnight for a nurse staffing agency, and DH worked at Dunkin Donuts. Sometimes he'd be called in to cover the 11:00 to 7:00 shift, and he had to take our daughter to work with him for that hour or so until I'd pick her up on my way home. She'd be wide awake when I picked her up, sitting in one of the booths having a donut and chocolate milk, or in the back watching him fill and ice the donuts. He had her sit on an empty icing bucket out of the way but where she could still see. One night, she sat on a full bucket of glaze that didn't have the lid on properly, and FELL IN. Her little corduroy jeans and underpants (she was out of diapers by then, thank God) were saturated with the goo, and DH hadn't brought a change of clothes. By the time I picked her up, the glaze was drying, and she was starting to crackle and flake all over the place. The glaze bucket was contaminated and had to be thrown out, of course, but DH's boss thought it was SO funny he didn't get in trouble or have to pay for it. What a mess in my car, and the flaking glaze made her really itchy. I had to stick her right in the tub when we got home.
She's grown up and married now, with a brand new house, and she's really fussy about keeping her kitchen spotless. She got mad at me over Christmas for making a mess in it while I cooked the dinner, following me around with a mop. She said I dirtied every pot, pan and cooking utensil she owned, but that was an exaggeration. I do make a mess when I cook, but I always clean it up afterwards.
Last edited by Mrs. Skeffington; 01-21-2012 at 01:52 AM..
I was boiling a couple eggs in a pot on the stove one night and fell asleep. The eggs exploded and actually hit the ceiling .. The smell was horrific and took ages to go away.
I was also hard boiling eggs in water and went to go watch TV. All of a sudden I smelled something burnt, I checked the pot and the water had evaporated and the egg shells were black. Thanfully the eggs inside were fine. I made egg salad anyway. LOL
1. At work, I dropped a pair of metal tongs in the deep fryer. I used other tongs to get them out, set them on the counter. About 30 seconds later, I forgot and needed to get something out of the fryer. Grabbed the smoking hot tongs. Scars.
2. Tried to deep fry chili rellenos in a pan at home. Splash, GREASE FIRE!
The other day, I grabbed a spice jar without looking at the label, and dumped a few tablespoons into the pot of chili I was making. Alas, I had added a lot of cloves (and I wasn't making Cincinnati chili this time), mistaking them for cumin; it took a lot of chili powder to overcome that faux pas.
Roasted bag of turkey guts still in turkey cavity -- check.
Set pizza box smoking -- check.
Melted nylon kitchen tool on side of frypan -- check.
Halved a recipe but forgot to halve one or two key ingredients -- check.
Set my college housemate's copper tea kettle on fire when left the kitchen and dozed off, forgetting that I'd set the kettle on the stove -- check.
One thing I've never done, that my mom does quite frequently, is set a dishtowel on fire.
Also started a soup that just did not taste quite right...added this, tasted, then added that...tasted, then more of this...usually this tactic works, but this time, well in the end there was a 4 qt batch of soup that was very costly due to lg amt of ingredients.
But also truly inedible. It was tossed out.
I did that, making a turkey hash. My mom makes great hash from leftover turkey with potatoes, corn, and gravy. I didn't have leftovers but was craving hash so I bought a chunk of turkey from the market and some bottled gravy. The Jennie-O turkey doesn't shred, so I cut it into cubes. I don't know if I undercooked the potatoes or if it was just the combination of tastes, but that hash was just not good. I tried cooking it longer, adding stuff, and it was just bad. I HATE wrecking meals and wasting food, and I was getting really frustrated and upset. My husband took over and thought he'd make it into soup ... no, still not tasty. Then he blended it, thinking we'd have a sort of potato soup ... no. We eventually threw it out.
I am very ashamed but the goldfish story a page or so back made me laugh.
The first and last time I attempted my own homemade chicken stock, I thought it smelled sooooo wonderful from the other room that I went into the kitchen, got my face up close to the lid and took the lid off and let steam completely burn my face! Tears instantly filled my eyes! I was putting cold water on towels and putting aloe on my face for days. And my face started pealing. That hurt...but that was sooooo stupid of me!
Then of course there are the times that after chopping jalapenos that I rubbed my eyes, or rubbed my nose...burns for hours. One time I chopped a bunch, and they must have been particularly hot because my hands were burning for hours! That was odd. But I still love my jalapenos :-)
Oh man, I have done the chili-in-the-eye thing too many times. The worst for me was one of those small, thin, dark green chilis (Serranos?). That freaking HURTS. I am glad I've never cooked with really hot peppers because I'd probably blind myself.
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The smell was horrific and took ages to go away.
It was tossed out. 
