Welcome to City-Data.com Forum!
U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > U.S. Forums > Florida > Fort Lauderdale area
 [Register]
Fort Lauderdale area Broward County
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 06-18-2010, 11:21 PM
 
14 posts, read 37,080 times
Reputation: 16

Advertisements

I have a rather complex story here so PLEASE bear with me and I hope I can get some advice and direction and I also hope I am posting this in the appropriate forum. I am not even sure CD is the correct place for it, but I'll give it a shot.

I have 4 children that have been attached at my hip since birth. They are extremely close to me and closer to me than they are to their mother. However, their mom and I have had a rather volatile relationship. I know this admission might be out of the ordinary, but their mother was the abuser in the relationship in terms of constant verbal abuse with serious anger problems which sometimes resulted in her resorting to physical violence when she wanted to have her way to to express her frustration. Long story short on that...she grew up in a violent environment and it remained a part of her. I did not know this when we got married and the reason for staying in a bad marriage is far too complicated to even begin to explain here.

In any event, we lost our house in the summer of 2008 during a time when I came to a conclusion that I had enough of the constant stress of the relationship. 9 months earlier, I did lose my job (this all during the economic crash). When we lost the house, she and the kids moved in with her family, but I had no place to go, as I had no family down there anymore. I was able to stay with a friend for a few months as he was seeking a paying tenant. With no job and no place to stay, I moved to NY where my dad has a house. I hit the job market in NY seeking a job but just could not land a steady job. Any little money I got I sent to Florida, however, it was never much and it was never consistent.

I was able to make it back to Florida in November 2009 to see the kids. Their mom and I actually spoke a couple of times and the talk was courteous. I even offered her some help when her car was repossessed while I was there and she was able to get it back. I spent a month down there using up all the money I had to splurge on the kids while looking for a job. When that did not work out and money ran out, I came back to NY.

The same day I came back, my brother called me to tell me that a package came to his house for me. It was from the Broward County court regarding child support. The courier asked my 16 year old nephew to sign for it just because he said he knew who I was even though I have NEVER lived with that brother and we don't really talk. You see, my wife knew I was in NY and ASSUMED I lived with that brother and had the courts send child support paperwork to his address. My nephew, knowing no better, signed for it and in the eyes of the Broward court, that was good enough for them. My brother promptly sent it back to sender so I never saw it nor read it. His argument to them was that he was not a third party courier, assigned to get anything to his brother and it was their job to find me and hand it to me and have me sign for it. In fact, all that brother knows is that I live some place in Staten Island and he lives in the Bronx.

FAST forward -----> In March of this year I told my wife to go back to the court and cancel the order because this was not a case of me NOT wanting to take care of my kids, rather, it was a case of me not being able to take care of them consistently while admitting the hardship I know was on her. She refused. I found out she told the court I did not financially support my kids since 2005 and the court took her word and rang me up on back payments for $20,000. Remember, I left in late 2008 (November). In addition, they hit me with $700 per month, but with no job, they could get no money.

Between March to just yesterday, my (soon to be) ex and I agreed I was going to bring the kids here for the summer and that I might even keep them for good while we also work on our divorce. Why? I landed a job at one of the world's most reputable and well known companies one month ago as their IT tech in mid-town Manhattan. Just yesterday I finalized plans with my ex to bring the kids to NY next weekend with her FULL blessing because she wants to get her new relationship going in full swing to my delight. Well, as I got home with the expectation to see my check and start booking the tickets, I get a nasty surprise from my company instead. The state of Florida yanked out $750 for child support based on their letter of notice that my check has been garnished! I called my ex to ask her if she could kindly go back to the court to remove the order because I will have the kids with me as of next weekend, perhaps for good. She laughed and told me she is not removing anything. So now I am stuck. She wants me to take the kids but don't want to remove the order. If I was able to get the kids I could have some leverage with the court in Florida but with her objection to removing the order, that is now not possible. She cannot have it both ways.

What avenues can I take to fight this? Is it too late now to send in my objection to this? Can I show the curt she lied about the length of time she claimed I had not been supporting my children when I was still living with them as late as late 2008? How can the state of Florida set a child support amount when I had no job until one month ago? Was the state of Florida within their rights to push through this process on the signature of a related minor at any address where I have never lived? I have NEVER received anything from them nor have I signed anything from them.

Please advise if you can. Thanks.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 06-19-2010, 01:09 AM
 
3,043 posts, read 7,674,595 times
Reputation: 903
I would call the Broward County State Attorney's Child Support Division and ask to speak to the case worker. Let them know the facts and where they can find you. Id forget about the package at this point and just make them aware that you will have the kids as of next week and you want to do the right thing. Get them on your side. Let them know your wife is in a new relationship and is not sure she can handle them full-time anymore and definitely not for the summer. You will likely have to pay back child support from at least the 12/08 time period anyway, so that's 18 months you're starting to pay back even if the court later decides you regained custody as of next week.

To get the court order changed to reflect the proper dates you will have to hire an attorney in Broward if you dont already have one. At the same time, so it wont feel as if money spent is a total loss, ask him about handling the divorce and filing for full custody and if you would then be entitled to child support yourself. That way the first court order, custody and child support can be re-negotiated by this new attorney while working out the details of the divorce.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-19-2010, 08:00 AM
 
14 posts, read 37,080 times
Reputation: 16
Quote:
Originally Posted by fauve View Post
I would call the Broward County State Attorney's Child Support Division and ask to speak to the case worker. Let them know the facts and where they can find you. Id forget about the package at this point and just make them aware that you will have the kids as of next week and you want to do the right thing. Get them on your side. Let them know your wife is in a new relationship and is not sure she can handle them full-time anymore and definitely not for the summer. You will likely have to pay back child support from at least the 12/08 time period anyway, so that's 18 months you're starting to pay back even if the court later decides you regained custody as of next week.

To get the court order changed to reflect the proper dates you will have to hire an attorney in Broward if you dont already have one. At the same time, so it wont feel as if money spent is a total loss, ask him about handling the divorce and filing for full custody and if you would then be entitled to child support yourself. That way the first court order, custody and child support can be re-negotiated by this new attorney while working out the details of the divorce.
Thank you so much Fauve. Now here's the rub...if I end up having the children living with me, why would my check still be garnished to be sent to her for current child support or past support when she would not have the supported children with her? In that case, I would be sending her checks fer her to take care of herself and not to take care of the children because the children would not be with her. She came up with this bright idea that while she is NOT removing the child support order, she would simply send the money back to me because in her words, "she does not want my money." I asked her what sense does it make to have money removed from my check in NY that would be sent to Florida only to have it returned to me back in New York? If I take the children and file for support (which I had NO intention of doing), what sense would it make to send her back support only for NY courts to tell her she needs to send it right back to me? In fact, I am still wondering how Florida determined I can pay $750 a month when they had no income from me to base the total on?

You see, this whole child support thing was done out of spite and not necessarily necessity. Someone got into her head and told her to do it despite the situation. I speak with my kids daily. I still help with their homework over the phone and computer. They call me when they are sick BEFORE they consult her. I am the one who still speaks with their teachers. The only thing different is that I was not physically there. In fact, I have had one of them with me since early May because my ex could not control her. So that is another problem. I have my 12 year old daughter for almost 2 months already yet I am paying child support for her in a state where she does not live anymore. This will be the same situation if I get all of them here as was planned. What fairness is there in paying child support for children you have in your custody? If I have to pay back support, well the children would be with me so I should be paying the back support to myself, no?

My ex wants to travel to the Caribbean next week and throughout the summer to be with her new beau. I have no objections or problems with that. In fact, since she is completely clueless about computers, she asked me to make the reservations but I could not as I was in a meeting, however, I instructed her on what to do. This was just Wednesday and shows how cooperative we have become. During that same conversation she asked me, "so when are you sending for the kids because I won't be here for a few weeks?" I told her I would make the reservations for them on Friday (yesterday) but as you can see, I lost a large chunk of my check which would have paid for their tickets (over $300) and helped to get them going upon arrival. What exactly is wrong with this picture? To make matters worse, I did not even receive my check to have an idea what the damage looks like. All I got was the letter.

Realize that I am JUST now getting my feet back under me after about a 1.5 year nightmare. My ex knows this and knows she was now going to be getting a much needed break and probably a permanent one. I warned her to go to the court and remove and/or reverse the order. Despite our recent cordiality with each other, she figured she would keep the support in place as just one last act of sneaky revenge so we both knew it was the pink elephant in the room and I did not want to rock the boat too much in hopes she would see where things were going and do it just out of common sense. She did not do it and now we are back at each other's throats and now she refuses to do anything about it out of more spite YET she wants me to take the kids.

In addition, I also found out my passport was revoked and I have family in non-US Caribbean islands should there be an emergency. My Florida license was also revoked and would have expired in less than a month anyway. Part of this check was to get it switched to NY license which I was apprehensive about figuring they would not grant me a new license if my Fl license was suspended.

I understand your course of direction Fauve, but I am not even sure what I will be left with monthly to know if I could even afford and attorney and still pay bills and support a 12-year old. I really want to know if the state of Florida based this whole case on an illegal or shady act in that they never physically handed me any papers nor did I sign for anything. My nephew told me the courier just asked him, "do you know so and so?" He replied, "yes" and so the courier had him sign for it knowing full well my nephew was clueless. My nephew had no idea what he was doing nor what he was signing for but he knew that every blue moon he sees me. In fact, in the nearly 2 years I have been here, he has seen me a grand total of NO times here in NY. The only time he has seen me was overseas at a family event over a year ago. I have still yet to see one court document from Broward and I have yet to sign for anything or reply to anything yet I have a case going on. I just happened to know about it because my brother called me (my mom gave him the number) to tell me about it but told me he came home, saw it and dropped it right back in the mail, certified, with a nasty letter to NOT send anything related to me to his house again as I don't live there nor is it his job to be a courier or any agent for the Broward court.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-19-2010, 08:16 AM
 
3,043 posts, read 7,674,595 times
Reputation: 903
Well, she did take care of the kids all those months and is due back child support by law. Any more questions you will really need to ask an attorney. I was giving you my opinion on your best course of action from here out which is essentially to get an attorney and make nice with the Broward SAO. Maybe the attorney will see some merit in the claim that they found you purely by coincidence, but I dont think so. They dont need your permission to garnish your wages in this circumstance. They'd be entitled to do that even if your nephew had refused the package.

Last edited by fauve; 06-19-2010 at 08:32 AM..
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-19-2010, 09:39 AM
 
14 posts, read 37,080 times
Reputation: 16
Quote:
Originally Posted by fauve View Post
Well, she did take care of the kids all those months and is due back child support by law. Any more questions you will really need to ask an attorney. I was giving you my opinion on your best course of action from here out which is essentially to get an attorney and make nice with the Broward SAO. Maybe the attorney will see some merit in the claim that they found you purely by coincidence, but I dont think so. They dont need your permission to garnish your wages in this circumstance. They'd be entitled to do that even if your nephew had refused the package.
Thanks again Fauve. Since I wrote that post above this morning, she and I spoke and she was a bit more accepting. Her request now is that she has sent me the divorce papers and if I sign them (one of the agreements being she is NOT seeking any child support should she have the kids), she will request a removal of the child support order. In addition, she will request them to forgive the back payments also IF this is possible to do. She realizes it would make absolutely no sense to send money to her while the kids are with me as I am not supporting her, but rather, the kids. In fact, she is strongly thinking about moving overseas to a foreign country (island) to pursue a life with a new man so I have no idea why a child support check would go to her when she is not the one being supported. Perhaps the way the court might look at it is that I OWE her the money but then that ceases to be "Child" support and becomes restitution.

Well, we will see how this goes. I will call and plead my case and hire an attorney if I can afford to to present it to the court and see what happens.

Thanks a lot for your help! It was REALLY appreciated!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-19-2010, 12:22 PM
 
3,043 posts, read 7,674,595 times
Reputation: 903
I would STRONGLY suggest hiring an attorney before signing this agreement; one from Florida and communicate by phone. You really dont want her attorney dictating the terms of this agreement when there are kids and child support involved. It will be very expensive to challenge should you later find it unfair. Kind of like the situation you're in now with letting her attorney say she hadnt gotten support from you since 2005. You may trust her, but she has shown that she will bend the truth in her favor previously. If she can put it on her lawyer, all the easier for her.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-19-2010, 04:24 PM
 
14 posts, read 37,080 times
Reputation: 16
Quote:
Originally Posted by fauve View Post
I would STRONGLY suggest hiring an attorney before signing this agreement; one from Florida and communicate by phone. You really dont want her attorney dictating the terms of this agreement when there are kids and child support involved. It will be very expensive to challenge should you later find it unfair. Kind of like the situation you're in now with letting her attorney say she hadnt gotten support from you since 2005. You may trust her, but she has shown that she will bend the truth in her favor previously. If she can put it on her lawyer, all the easier for her.
Thanks Fauve. Will do!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-19-2010, 08:20 PM
 
Location: FL
20,702 posts, read 12,440,495 times
Reputation: 5452
You need an attorney. If you were never served I don't know how they could have got an order unless they use the last known address. Broward County will not stop the order until they are told to and I would assume by a judge.

Broward County never applies the payments correctly either. My DH paid on time and for years they had him in arrears and they fixed it (had to go to court) and two months later we were in arrears for $8,000 go to court, etc. for 16 years. Ended up that he overpaid $12,000 but some how she has only paid back $1,000. They some how keep forgetting to flag her tax return.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-19-2010, 08:58 PM
 
14 posts, read 37,080 times
Reputation: 16
Quote:
Originally Posted by Donna-501 View Post
You need an attorney. If you were never served I don't know how they could have got an order unless they use the last known address. Broward County will not stop the order until they are told to and I would assume by a judge.

Broward County never applies the payments correctly either. My DH paid on time and for years they had him in arrears and they fixed it (had to go to court) and two months later we were in arrears for $8,000 go to court, etc. for 16 years. Ended up that he overpaid $12,000 but some how she has only paid back $1,000. They some how keep forgetting to flag her tax return.
Thanks for the reply Donna.

Actually, they used an address my ex dug up. She actually went to our wedding guestbook and found my brother's address (he was the best man) knowing full well I never lived there and had the court mail the papers there. I mean, this is my sticking point. That's like going to my old job from 20 years ago and getting someone to sign for papers meant for me because they remember me or used to know me and then claiming I was served the papers. Something just seems unethical about that. If that is the case EVERY court in the land can do something like this and start demanding child support whether the person knows about it or not.

Anyway, I am going to see what she does. Just as she was able to use the law to persuade the court to order child support, I will see if they will also listen to her to "drop all charges," so to speak. She requested it so the court obliged and I am hoping she can drop it just as easy. If that does not work, then I will have to find the money to hire an attorney to persuade the court in my favor through the proper channels, hopefully with her help. The court doe not realize that she did this out of pure spite and a the behest of someone and I don't think, at the time, she really realized the magnitude of the matter. She has this idea that it is just a joke, something she used to pressure me and she can take her foot off the pedal whenever she is ready.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-19-2010, 09:32 PM
 
3,043 posts, read 7,674,595 times
Reputation: 903
The only thing I could see them having to serve you with is the court appearance date. If you dont show to that and run off to Podunk, USA, and they find out where you're working in Podunk (which is fairly easy to do), you'd have your wages garnished. I used to work as an investigator for the SAO (mostly in white collar crime) and the child support investigators whole job was to locate those they termed "deadbeats."

Did you receive a subpoena or court order for the initial court date?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:


Settings
X
Data:
Loading data...
Based on 2000-2020 data
Loading data...

123
Hide US histogram


Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > U.S. Forums > Florida > Fort Lauderdale area

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2024, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top