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You know what - I wouldn't mind NC - I just don't want to be in NY anymore. I would prefer NC, Virginia, MD even texas, but my DH will only go where his family is. The life here has taken its toll on me. I know you guys feel like that, but I have a support system there, so I am pretty sure I'll be okay. I live here in NYC with NO ONE. An opportunity will present itself when the time is right. I'm sure of it.
I feel for you Chelz..
I lived in a small 1br/1ba apt myself in south Brooklyn (minutes from Manhattan), when I was alone. I did not over furnish it to avoid the claustrophobic feel I come to expect from a cramped area. I feel exactly what you are describing. I got a claustrophobic feeling when you were describing your apt. I dont even know if I ever want to live in an apt, let alone a NYC apt again. I never say never, but I need and like the space. If I were to move back to NY, I'd have to move to Queens or Long Island. Now that I have kids, I need more space and options. An apt is not an option at this point, unless I have no choice.
It's funny how we humans are. Take me for example, even in Florida I feel that I dont have enough space, and I am talking about land space. I need more space. I dont want neighbors so close to me. I never did, but it didn't seem to matter then, now it matters a great deal to me. These houses here are too close to one another. Florida is a step above NYC in this sense, and I'm feeling a bit squeezed by the lack of space.
Give other places a try. See if your hubby will compromise, because you're doing it for him. See if you can both agree on a place, and take it from there. Family and 'real' friend support is very important.
Have you guys tried to look at houses in Queens or Long Island? I know the commute may be longer, but you may find some sort of balance by getting something there. Put all your options on the table, and see what may work and what may not. Good Luck Chelz. Dont Give up!
Yes, my husband needs work as well. He is a steamfitter/pipefitter/hvac mechanic/plumber. I put all of those because it seems that plumbers do all the stuff the only steam/pipefitters do here in NY. Either way he is versed in all of that with over 12 years experience and time in the Union.
RM - believe me i'm not living in a fantasy world at all. I know that I'm going to struggle in Florida the same way I do here. I understand everyone when they say that the housing prices are inflated in comparison to your pay. They are here as well believe me. I did a salary compare on the net and my 85K is equivalent to about 55K in Florida. Now that being said, the difference is what native floridians and people who have lived there for a while take for granted. 2 bathrooms in an apartment versus 1, w/d/dishwasher in your home, versus goint to the laundromat every week, a pool, tennis court, basketball court, play area for the kids, gym, etc. All of this is in your apartment complex and a lot of home with HOA's have this too. Now let me tell you what I get in my Queens apartment. It is about 1000sq ft (give or take). I have one really nice sized bedroom that I had to take because I have a king bed that would not fit into the 9 by 11 room my 2 boys share, it has 2 closets that are shallow but tall so not really practical, my boys don't even have closets (poor kids). My living room is also tiny, I fit an apartment size sofa and one chair in there. I have something that a lot of apartments don't have in Queens, a dining room, so that is a nice plus. My kitchen is maybe 5 by 8, but it is open to the living room so it appears bigger, but I don't have much cupboard space. Oh I have 1 nice size bathroom, but it is the size of the extra bath in the average Florida apartment, well a little bigger, but not much believe me. All of this for 1500$ a month. Can I get that in NYC? Sure if I live in a building and pay between 3k and 5k a month. Now do you see what I mean. I know the whole story about kids not going out cuz it is so hot, but if you have a pool at least you have an option. When it is cold here there are no options, hell there are not many options for pools either. You couldn't pay me to go to the public pools where I live. It is just very different here and it isn't the way I want my kids to grow up.
I don't have the personality to throw caution to the wind and just go, part of me wishes I could do that, but with 2 little people who depend on me to make intelligent decisions, I can't do that. So, I will bide my time and keep searching for a job that will pay me a decent wage.
My apartment here is 100 sf larger than the one you just said and my rent is 50 bucks cheaper than yours. Would have been 1500 if didnt have a deal. That 55,000 versus 85,000 things is utter bull crap. Take it from someone who has lived in both places. You were right on the in unit dryer and washer and playground on the apartment grounds though.
Tell your husband to try the plumber Union down here. Contact them and ask them about jobs, and all that stuff. If you are serious, as they say gotta go in, hard body, know what i mean?
Its funny reading MisterNY post, i absolutely hate back yards. The last house I lived in, I couldn't wait to leave. I hate cutting yards, and I rarely went in the backyard. Tried the gardening thing and didn't like that either :S Not to mention those miniature Godzillas aka iguanas we had eating up my darn vegetables. I wouldn't mind a nice sized condo or townhome with a small backyard near a downtown somewhere (Miami maybe). Something I could cut with no more than 10 pushes of the lawn mower.
I live in Queens Mister and Long Island was thought about, but the commuting costs are just too expensive. You move to the island to pay less for a home but your taxes make up for it. And on top of all that you are not living in a newer home, you live in a 100 year old home that needs to be completely upgraded. Usually is not the case in Florida. I need the space for my kids. I have just mentally moved passed New York and I'm ready to go somewhere different. I've tried talking my husband into a nother place, but no dice and frankly I don't dislike florida enough to not go - you know what I mean. I will make it, I know that - I'm a go getter.
I totally get you Wild - the apartment I was looking at was 1350 for 3 bedrooms though. Where are you living that you pay that rent? On the beach? Sounds like where you live is sort of the equivalent to living in lets say the time Warner building in NY. Is that about right? It is clearly a building/apartment with very nice amenities.
Why do you say the 85 - 55 scenario is wrong. You aren't taxed by the state or city, that puts almost 10% back into your pocket immediately and the feds don't tax you at the higher rate because your base is lower. I'm not wrong about that - those are facts. Wild think about it from my standpoint - I'm not sure when you left NY, but it is qute expensive to live here. Compare a car being sold in Fl to one being sold in NY, there is a difference. I'm just talking about quality of life things. I will never argue that NY offers a ton more to do, but only if you can afford to make use of those things. I really didn't want to have to bash NY in order to make my points for moving valid. I realize that Florida may not be the place for you and may not be the place for me either, but I do know NY isn't the place where I want my boys to spend the most important years of their lives.
It is very easy to see all the bad in a place when you have run out of the love of being there, but would you really want to raise your kids in Brooklyn? Maybe you would, but I don't, so a change ima makin.
Oh and please excuse my ignorance, but what is goin in hard body?
I totally get you Wild - the apartment I was looking at was 1350 for 3 bedrooms though. Where are you living that you pay that rent? On the beach? Sounds like where you live is sort of the equivalent to living in lets say the time Warner building in NY. Is that about right? It is clearly a building/apartment with very nice amenities.
Where I live now is a typical apartment complex in South Florida. If I could compare it to something in NYC, maybe something like Flatbush Gardens or a very small scale Starrett City . Prices have come down recently by 200 to 300 bucks per month because of population declines. Less people here, less people to rent. Also you can get great rental deals in huge homes for the same price as a apartment. So that is also pushing rental prices down. Only thing with renting a house is, then you run the risk of getting kicked out because the people you are renting from could go into foreclosure. For a really nice building you are talking 2500 on up for a one bedroom.
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Why do you say the 85 - 55 scenario is wrong. You aren't taxed by the state or city, that puts almost 10% back into your pocket immediately and the feds don't tax you at the higher rate because your base is lower. I'm not wrong about that - those are facts.
It is also a fact that you don't have to have a car in NYC. It is also a fact you don't have to pay gas. It is also a fact you don't have to run your A/C for 9 months out of the year and come off with 200 to 300 dollar electric bills per month (depending on the size of the place you live). You will see when you get here is all I can say.
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Wild think about it from my standpoint - I'm not sure when you left NY, but it is qute expensive to live here. Compare a car being sold in Fl to one being sold in NY, there is a difference. I'm just talking about quality of life things.
I think you mean standard of living being based on what things you can afford as opposed to quality of living which is non intrinsic value of the things you find important in life that make you happy. Either way, hey come down, you might like it here, everyone is different.
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I will never argue that NY offers a ton more to do, but only if you can afford to make use of those things. I really didn't want to have to bash NY in order to make my points for moving valid.
When I lived in NYC and when I visit NYC I had tons of stuff to do, far more than here and all were free. They have free events here too, just not in quantity, quality or scale of what NYC has.
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I realize that Florida may not be the place for you and may not be the place for me either, but I do know NY isn't the place where I want my boys to spend the most important years of their lives.
I hope you find the place you are looking for!
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It is very easy to see all the bad in a place when you have run out of the love of being there, but would you really want to raise your kids in Brooklyn?
As I told you before, I have been where you have been (lived in NYC), you have not been where I have been (lived in Florida). To each his own. As for raising my kid in brooklyn, I would do it in a heart beat, thousands do it each and every day and love it.
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Maybe you would, but I don't, so a change ima makin.
You don't have to sell me on your vision/dream. As I said, to each his own. I dont knock you for what you want to do, whatever makes you happy (just had a flash back of that old ten city song). You should tell your husband to reach out to the plumbing union down here in Fort Lauderdale. I think that would be one of the best places for him to start his search. They could tell him what is out there, how the industry is looking, what prospects are out there for him etc.
I hope here is for you guys, if not there is a entire country out there to explore!
Last edited by Wild Style; 02-19-2009 at 04:25 PM..
I totally get you Wild - the apartment I was looking at was 1350 for 3 bedrooms though. Where are you living that you pay that rent? On the beach? Sounds like where you live is sort of the equivalent to living in lets say the time Warner building in NY. Is that about right? It is clearly a building/apartment with very nice amenities.
Why do you say the 85 - 55 scenario is wrong. You aren't taxed by the state or city, that puts almost 10% back into your pocket immediately and the feds don't tax you at the higher rate because your base is lower. I'm not wrong about that - those are facts. Wild think about it from my standpoint - I'm not sure when you left NY, but it is qute expensive to live here. Compare a car being sold in Fl to one being sold in NY, there is a difference. I'm just talking about quality of life things. I will never argue that NY offers a ton more to do, but only if you can afford to make use of those things. I really didn't want to have to bash NY in order to make my points for moving valid. I realize that Florida may not be the place for you and may not be the place for me either, but I do know NY isn't the place where I want my boys to spend the most important years of their lives.
It is very easy to see all the bad in a place when you have run out of the love of being there, but would you really want to raise your kids in Brooklyn? Maybe you would, but I don't, so a change ima makin.
Oh and please excuse my ignorance, but what is goin in hard body?
I am from Manhattan and my husband is from Queens. We bought our first house in Queens and had our 2 girls there. When the oldest was 8, we moved to LI. Long Island is very child oriented. Your children, if you intend to have them, will have a nice life there. Then there is the education factor. No, comparison to what it is in Florida, but you can look it up.
My daughter and her finance are teachers in NYC (Queens and the Bronx). They just bought a 4 bedroom house in Levittownfor $275,000 with a nice sized back yard. No, they don't have a separate dining room, but there is room where they can expand the house. Their taxes are around $7,000 a year. We bought our house here in Naples last year for $275,000 (2 bedroom). It is a closet in comparison to the house on LI. We have no land whatsoever. When my neighbors talk I can hear everything they say. Actually, I had more privacy when I lived in an apartment building in the West Village. My taxes are $4,500 here in Naples. Considering the size of the houses and the property, I have a lot less than they do.
They seem to think here in Florida that the sunshine will make up for everything: wages, property, culture, etc. Incidentally, my car insurance is MORE here in Florida than NY.
Its funny reading MisterNY post, i absolutely hate back yards. The last house I lived in, I couldn't wait to leave. I hate cutting yards, and I rarely went in the backyard. Tried the gardening thing and didn't like that either :S Not to mention those miniature Godzillas aka iguanas we had eating up my darn vegetables. I wouldn't mind a nice sized condo or townhome with a small backyard near a downtown somewhere (Miami maybe). Something I could cut with no more than 10 pushes of the lawn mower.
I love NY, and when living alone it was cool. Less to clean, less to worry about heating. Fast forward 10 years later, with kids, a wife and more cars to worry about parking, there is no way the apt or a 2Br could have done it in the city. I'd have to make a move to the burbs in order to live semi-decently. Even here, the lack of space is getting to me, lol. Gotta be able to strech my arms and yawn without waking up the neighbors.
I dont want a swamp or forest in the back of my house, but need some space. Where were those iguanas you mention? I hate those things. I see them at CB Smith park all the time. These suckers are huge.
My ideal set up would be a house not too far from intown, maybe an older house with a decent yard near Downtown Atlanta or something.
Wishful thinking, since they're crazy expensive, so I'll have to make do with something in a suburb near the city. I would also like a basement. There are none down here. Sucks!
I love NY, and when living alone it was cool. Less to clean, less to worry about heating. Fast forward 10 years later, with kids, a wife and more cars to worry about parking, there is no way the apt or a 2Br could have done it in the city. I'd have to make a move to the burbs in order to live semi-decently. Even here, the lack of space is getting to me, lol. Gotta be able to strech my arms and yawn without waking up the neighbors.
I dont want a swamp or forest in the back of my house, but need some space. Where were those iguanas you mention? I hate those things. I see them at CB Smith park all the time. These suckers are huge.
My ideal set up would be a house not too far from intown, maybe an older house with a decent yard near Downtown Atlanta or something.
Wishful thinking, since they're crazy expensive, so I'll have to make do with something in a suburb near the city. I would also like a basement. There are none down here. Sucks!
I was in plantation with the iguanas. Not to far from the post office. Those iguanas were the size of a full sized "hot dog" I don't know the real name of those dogs but you know what I am talking about. HUGE man, and they would ravish our garden. It was very annoying.
I have a kid and wife but man I just hate to much space. By space I mean backyard. My ideal situation would be a brownstone or a house like one somewhere. Maybe a greystone in Chicago or one of those Victorian homes in San Fran or something. I love those type houses. Not to big, backyard small enough. My ideal situation would be to live somewhere that I could have no car. Could walk every where or take mass transit.
I have a TON of friends in Atlanta. Prices are falling there too man, you should look into it. A friend of mine had a two bedroom apartment in the heart of downtown Atlantat for 800 a month. Another friend of mine has a 4 bedroom out there. I never asked him how much he paid but I know his monthly payments is something like 800 or so a month. That is not a adjustable rate mortgage either.
I love NY, and when living alone it was cool. Less to clean, less to worry about heating. Fast forward 10 years later, with kids, a wife and more cars to worry about parking, there is no way the apt or a 2Br could have done it in the city. I'd have to make a move to the burbs in order to live semi-decently. Even here, the lack of space is getting to me, lol. Gotta be able to strech my arms and yawn without waking up the neighbors.
I dont want a swamp or forest in the back of my house, but need some space. Where were those iguanas you mention? I hate those things. I see them at CB Smith park all the time. These suckers are huge.
My ideal set up would be a house not too far from intown, maybe an older house with a decent yard near Downtown Atlanta or something.
Wishful thinking, since they're crazy expensive, so I'll have to make do with something in a suburb near the city. I would also like a basement. There are none down here. Sucks!
MisterNY .... I was just in Atlanta for a seminar ( one week ) I had never been there , but just an observation it may be tough for a New Yorker to adjust . Other than Buckhead and parts of Midtown , I was shocked at the amount of vagrants and derelicts in the city , as well the traffic was mind numbing and the smog was real bad as well ( that was a shock ) .. but what really got to me seemed to be the "phony " conservative southern nice of many of the people I met and what seemed to be underlying racial tensions . I don't know as a former New Yorker myself I would not be able to adapt to Atlanta ... have you looked at other cities in the south like Charlotte or Houston .. I have been in these two cities many times and I got a real sense of hospitality and friendliness there .
Wild - you never got back to me on whether or not you would come back to NY with your kids. I realize that florida may not be the right fit for you, but do you think that your situation would be better in NY? I'm being genuine about that question. Brownstone?? You can forget unless you have a million or more to spend on that. That is due to all the gentrification going on here. And believe me I think it is a good thing to bring a neighborhood up, but the problem is then the backs of the people that the neigborhood was built on are priced out. So, there are pros and cons to that. As far as home prices go here, they haven't taken the hit that the rest of the country has. For the life of me, I can't figure out why. Most of the homes are crap in my opinion. I don't really find a home built in 1905 that hasn't been remodeled since 1950 to be desirable, but if it were the right price, I would consider it. These people selling these homes still think that they should get clost to 500k for a house that is attached (townhome in Florida), with 1 bathroom no yard and maybe a garage. What sense does this make. Yes, yes, yes, it is the price you pay to live in the best city in the world!?!? Well, you can have it. I'd rather live modestly in a 4/2 with a pool in the backyard. I'll deal with the rudeness, I'm a NYer baby as nice as I am now is how nasty I can be - WATCH OUT- lol. Crazy driving, i'm probably one of them, I really like to get to where I'm going, no time for procrastinating. However, I will use my turn signal. I will never settle for a job that I know is not paying me what I'm worth, I will continue to look until I get a job that affords me a comfortable living style. I didn't sit around in NY, so just because I move to another state won't mean that all of the sudden, I become lazy or less ambitious. Truth is I don't exactly have the most glamorous career, if that is even what one would consider being a legal assistant. For me it is a job that I perform well, but 5:00p comes and I get to go home.
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Move to Long Island
