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Many name brands, Kraft in particular, doesn't produce ANYthing in their own plants. They just buy mayo and marshmallows and peanut butter and cheese from local plants who make the product and put them in Kraft-labeled jars.
Yep, you're just the type of person I was referring to. Someone who keeps track of what others in the group are eating and drinking and wants to make damn sure that you don't spend a penny more than you yourself consumed.
You call it fair. I call it cheap.
I can see the other side of this issue. What if someone constantly orders the most expensive dish just because s/he doesn't expect people to request separate checks? I'm not suggesting people split nickels, but most people will usually acknowledge their personal tab is considerably higher than others and chip in more (without crunching numbers down to the penny).
Another example is a neighbor of mine. She often sent her child to my house during meal times. Sometimes, the girl would ask to eat if we were not eating when she came in. Her mother and I were involved in an event for two days. My husband had to run some errands and asked if we wanted him to pick up lunch. He did with no offer from them to pay for their family's meals. That was fine, but she did the same thing on the second day. It never really bothered me and I didn't think much of it until my children were at her house one day and asked for a snack. She would not give them anything. I don't expect other people to feed my children, but I've fed hers for years without any mention of it or expectation of compensation.
I think it's a mentality, though. I have younger siblings and we have an aunt who would not give them afternoon snacks if they were at her house after school. It wasn't an arrangement or pattern. She is self-employed so my mother would call her for help if for some reason she couldn't get the kids. It happened maybe five times in their whole childhood, but my aunt made a big fuss about a sandwich or piece of fruit.
Life is too short. Quibbling over a few dollars is ridiculous.
I get frugal. We check prices . We use coupons. We try to save money.
BUT someone who is cheap to the point of irritation : Guy brings in $ 5800 a month and complains about his $ 10 cable tv bill...
Your thoughts on what cheap vs frugal means ?
Give me blazing examples if you have some...
Well, my FIL is like this. I mean, his regular telephone landline runs $100 per month and he hardly uses it and he will not consider any changes, no bundles or anything like that. We could help him cut the bill in half. He refuses to turn on the sprinklers b/c that costs money but the grass looks like crap. My husband has to cut the lawn for him.
Don't get me wrong, I'm all for saving money but his expenses could have the same bottom line if he would just change things around.
We live in Florida. He refuses to turn on the air, same reason.
I wish I knew a way....
Hi, This is a very interesting question. I think of frugal as being financially responsible and making informed decisions about how one uses/save his or her money. I think of cheap as a personality characteristic.
I know many people who are "well off" and all of them fit the spectrum between those two. I even knew a woman who worked with my mother. She was easily a millionaire several times over. However, she carried a huge purse and would steal all the sugar and salt packets, bread from the bread baskets and leftover napkins after eating in a restaurant. We all pay for that kind of theft.
I had a neighbor who is very cheap, almost bordering on what seems to be some kind of mental issue. Seriously, I asked her to borrow a can of soup for a recipe and I didn't have time to run out to the store in the snow with two small children. She brought it to me and had dinner with us that night (and almost every night because she invited herself over). The next week we were out running errands and she said "you owe me $0.59 for that can of soup last week." Another time I she stopped by BK for me and said I didn't give her enough money. She wanted me to repay her $0.16. In another incident, she brought something to my house and asked me to try it. I did NOT ask for it and did not care for it so I didn't want any more. She demanded that I pay her for it because she bought it with me in mind. I didn't and told her she could consume it so she did not lose any money. Don't misunderstand. I don't expect her to give me things for free, but she was ridiculous. She would come to my house around mealtime ALL THE TIME. It didn't work to not answer the door because she would just stand there calling from her cell phone or banging on the door and look in the windows. She NEVER treated when we went shopping, but almost always asked me to buy her food when I bought something for my children. She is the extreme of what I consider to be cheap, though. The kicker is she does not consider other people to have a "limit" and often put things in my cart that I did not ask for or want (e.g. chemical laden treats for the children or something for her) and just expected me to pay for it. However, it never worked in reverse. Oh, here's the funniest part. She helped me pack for our move and she would pocket any loose change she found around MY house.
Sorry if that was long and drawn out, but I definitely distinguish between being "frugal" and being "cheap."
My definition of "cheap" has little to do with frugality. Cheap people are not generous with their time, effort, help, affection, emotions, gifts (be they monetary or symbolic), etc. It overlaps quite a bit with being selfish, but not quite...Trying to stretch the buck is perfectly fine in my book as long as it doesn't extend to food because if you don't pay the farmer you will pay the doctor.
This is dead on , spot on correct !
I am very affectionate . I care about other people ( empathetic ) love to tell someone " I love you " Love to buy lots of gifts for those I care about.. .
I notice cheap people are not just cheap with money. But with their caring , their hugs , their kisses and affection. Almost cold to a sense.
So I do think its more a disturbance in the mind that they might hoard 6,000,000 million dollars in coffee cans in their basement but wear rags and fear eating the food they have . Fear comes back into the picture...
Frugal people love to share great deals with their friends and on here CD but we don't neglect ourselves , our children or our lives to the point of belonging in a rubber room !
I can't say I initiated the move because of her, but I was estatic to move because of her. It really got to the point where I hated when the sun came up because I knew she would be at my door. She is the kind of person that calls and when you politely tell her it's not a good time, she will show up at the door anyway. She asked me how much a project cost and I politely refused to answer. She went behind my back and asked the contractor directly. He told her to ask me. A package came for me one day and she basically demanded I open it in front of her. She took the enclosed catalog out and ordered almost everything I had just received. Creeped me out big time.
She has no concept of social ettiquette or grace, at all. So, in short, I was literally jumping for joy when our house sold because of her. ;-)
I totally agree. I'll have to rep you on that. Believe me, when you're around other people, your kids even, they pick up on this stuff real fast.
If you can't afford to go out to eat, decline. Do everyone a favor - no one likes the nit picky stuff at the end of the meal.
Thanks! You are so right. Kids do pick up on it. My neighbor's kid had a meltdown one day when my kids picked up her ball. I can't tell you how many times she has played with their stuff, been on their swing set, etc. The kids and mom came over the night before we moved to say "goodbye." I wanted to take a picture of everyone and my daughter sat down next to my neighbor. The daughter had another fit and didn't even want my daughter sitting on the other side (where nobody was sitting) of her mother. It was painful to witness. Ugh.
Originally Posted by sierraAZ
My definition of "cheap" has little to do with frugality. Cheap people are not generous with their time, effort, help, affection, emotions, gifts (be they monetary or symbolic), etc. It overlaps quite a bit with being selfish, but not quite
I agree with this.
In my lifetime I've met only a few really cheap people.
One time, for a New Years Eve party where every couple had to pitch in and bring something, a particular couple was supposed to bring a bucket of KFC and instead they came with a half rotiserie chicken. Apparently they had eaten the half at home for dinner. We still laugh about it.
Another couple we thought were friends of ours invited us to spend the day with them at their beach house. We asked if we should bring anything and they told us no, they had everything. When we arrived around lunch time, they asked if we had brought our food. We all ended up walking to the nearby shops to purchase our lunch and dinner. Both times we sat on the table, us eating our food, them eating their food. After dinner they asked if we wanted to spend the night there. Apparently the husband makes a huge breakfast. Right, I'm thinking. Now I have to walk back to the shops looking for eggs and pancake syryp? Prior to that, this couple had been to our home several times for dinner, and had never reciprocated.
I can't say I initiated the move because of her, but I was estatic to move because of her. It really got to the point where I hated when the sun came up because I knew she would be at my door. She is the kind of person that calls and when you politely tell her it's not a good time, she will show up at the door anyway. She asked me how much a project cost and I politely refused to answer. She went behind my back and asked the contractor directly. He told her to ask me. A package came for me one day and she basically demanded I open it in front of her. She took the enclosed catalog out and ordered almost everything I had just received. Creeped me out big time.
She has no concept of social ettiquette or grace, at all. So, in short, I was literally jumping for joy when our house sold because of her. ;-)
I wouldn't call that person cheap. I would call that person a mooch. Different.
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Been looking for a word
