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Old 02-26-2012, 06:07 PM
 
4,215 posts, read 2,894,188 times
Reputation: 1516
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dave5150 View Post
My husband has always been the sole source of income, im a stay at home mom and we really did live really cheaply anyway. We had just finally bought a car when 6 months later my husband got laid off. We had a 2 bedroom apartment and we moved to a one bedroom. We still had 500-1000 a month disposable income with our lifestyle before he got laid off. But we downsized and got rid of some bills to maintain some extra income to afford to pay for holidays and the like. We also had some money saved which we went through during his layoff. While we didnt have a car, yeah we used the bus when we needed to, we walked a lot of places and for grocery trips and things on weekend we had a friend take me.

We learned so much during this layoff about how to safe large amounts of money on the income we have, because i am so much more organized now. Blessing in disguise? Perhaps
That is the whole problem. Why not both spouses work? Kid(s) are a liability. Layoff should not set your family down. That is the whole purpose of living below your means.

 
Old 02-26-2012, 07:04 PM
 
Location: Jersey
870 posts, read 603,949 times
Reputation: 860
Both spouses dont work because we can live within our means (we dont use credit cards), save money, live frugally and I get to be the ONE who raises my child. ME. Noone else should be raising my son. He is only 4, when he starts school this fall I will be rejoining the workforce. But from birth to school, unless we were in an awful situation and me working would have actually resulted in bringing in money not just paying daycare and commuter cost to break even then I would have worked, but I didnt, I took care of my child. And an uneducated woman in this economy wasnt finding a job worth working where I could have actually made a difference to my household. Contrary to popular belief, a household does not have to have 2 incomes to survive.
 
Old 02-26-2012, 11:10 PM
 
4,215 posts, read 2,894,188 times
Reputation: 1516
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dave5150 View Post
Both spouses dont work because we can live within our means (we dont use credit cards), save money, live frugally and I get to be the ONE who raises my child. ME. Noone else should be raising my son. He is only 4, when he starts school this fall I will be rejoining the workforce. But from birth to school, unless we were in an awful situation and me working would have actually resulted in bringing in money not just paying daycare and commuter cost to break even then I would have worked, but I didnt, I took care of my child. And an uneducated woman in this economy wasnt finding a job worth working where I could have actually made a difference to my household. Contrary to popular belief, a household does not have to have 2 incomes to survive.
What if one spouse has an unfortunate accident?
 
Old 02-27-2012, 07:51 AM
 
3,746 posts, read 5,090,784 times
Reputation: 2003
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dave5150 View Post
She said the loss of income will be child support. And I dont know if you know this or maybe you dont care but child support is used for the child which INCLUDES household expenses like the house the child lives in, the food the child eats, the electric the child uses. Its not like she was at the club
"I get 2200 a month on SS but when son turns 18 it will drop 1000 a month. I will have 1360 a month then."

She also says (** in original post) that the SS will drop when child turns 18. This is valid. So is drop of child support( can't find that one); however, most divorces make parent's split the college cost . (I think she is losing SS AND the es isn't paying toward college. The kids can get jobs, maybe a few years each, and pay into the house half of the money and half saved for school. Kids aren't "owed" free rides)


 
Old 02-27-2012, 08:16 AM
 
Location: Connecticut
2,727 posts, read 2,543,659 times
Reputation: 1850
I feel in agreement that the kid(s) can work part time. I went to school full time and worked 2 part time jobs. It was my father, my brother and I. My dad *did* take care of the household bills, but I earned money for any extras, plus my books. And I was always willing to chip into household bills, but my father said no (however, he was not struggling - paycheck to paycheck most weeks, but not struggling).
 
Old 02-27-2012, 01:56 PM
 
9,807 posts, read 12,924,307 times
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It sounds like the OP is on SSDI for agoraphobia, since she talks about almost never leaving the house. If so, it would be very hard to get out to do any of the things suggested for income outside of the house. However, why would she need a car? It does sound like the car was leased, so the finances are even worse than a loan?
My mother was severely agoraphobic. She spent years not working (waitress) and would sometimes get it together when my father's problems kicked in and he wasn't working or wasn't paying bills. My mother always wanted to keep a car (although I never saw a newer car until I bought one at 23) and she would drive around the neighborhood to "practice," since a lot of her phobia was related to driving, taking left turns against traffic, etc.
After my parents split up, she bought a trailer home in her comfort zone area. She actually got a telephone operator/desk job at a good hotel four miles away, but was phobic about the available bus or a taxi so kept the car. Then she got paranoid about the job and quit. Etc.
However, if the OP is describing agoraphobia (or maybe PTSD from some terrible event), I don't know that she needs a car unless her location is totally car-dependent and/or she is completely phobic about public transport.
And no, it's not an enjoyable way to live. I don't personally understand it, but it's real.
 
Old 02-27-2012, 06:26 PM
 
1,676 posts, read 1,081,183 times
Reputation: 1764
Boy, what a bunch of hard a--es. Here's some constructive advice you can look into.
#1. Last time I looked, you could earn up to $950 a month without loosing SSDI. Your mom is 78, so eventually you will be on your own. Hopefully that will be after your kids graduate from school and get a decent job.

In the mean time, you can drop your phone and buy one of these. It hooks up to regular phones that you can have throughout your apt. You will just have to pay taxes of about $4.00 a month. You need to have an internet connection, as this is a VOIP and goes through your internet connection. I have an Ooma, and it works great. This one is cheaper. Read the reviews on Amazon.

Amazon.com: OBi110 Voice Service Bridge and VoIP Telephone Adapter: Electronics

Drop cable, and subscribe to Netflix for $8.00 month. Use your existing cable connection and see if you can connect a small outdoor antenna to it, or if you are close to the transmitting towers, an indoor antenna might also work. Can make some recommendations if you like. If you have a spare computer or laptop with decent specs and have Windows 7 on it, you can connect it to your TV, and record programs on the computer hard drive or an external hard drive, same as you get with renting a DVR. It is not technical at all. I did it, and I am not a techie. If you don't already know Netflix, has a lot of programing available. Couple that with over the air TV, especially if you record it, and you will have all the TV you need for $8.00 mo.

I had a hard time pulling the plug too. But once I did it, and got acclimated, I wish I had done it a long time ago. You can also use your computer for accessing all kinds of shows.

Go over to the thread on the Retirement part of this City Data and read the thread that reads like a book called. "Living on a Literal Shoe String". You will pick up a lot of good information there.

I would also ditch the car if someone has a car for getting groceries and doctor appointments. Once you become a senior you can get something like
Dial a Ride, that comes to pick you up at your house and will take you where you need to go for about $1.00 each way.

There is a guy over on the Retirement Board section who is disabled also. Lives in Denver, Co. Can't remember his name at the moment but you will know who he is when you start reading. He is a master at living cheaply.
He also knows about all the help that is available out there.

I don't agree that all Section 8 rentals are in bad areas. Though I am not sure how Washington runs theirs. In Arizona, you can live in any complex if the owner of the unit agrees to take section 8. Granted they may not be in high income areas, but not in terrible areas either. But each state is different. That will save you a lot of money.

You do need to figure out how to add some income to what you will be getting, as your mother will not be there to contribute down the road, so need to get your hear around that. If you receive $1,300 SSDI and get medicare, and earn another $900 a month, you can make it.

One last tip. Get acquainted and get your kids acquainted with all the thrift shops
(Goodwill etc) in the best area of town. You ( or preferably your kids) will find some very good quality clothes there. As they will likely turn their nose up at the idea. You go, and search through all the racks and purchase some cute things for them. This way you introduce them to thrift shops which will come in handy for them to stretch their money too. Also, never buy new. If you need a new TV, buy one at the Goodwill for $30, instead of $300. Don't go into any in poorer areas, you want the wealthy areas.

Get over to that other thread I mentioned and start reading. You will enjoy it and learn a lot. Hope this helps you.

Last edited by modhatter; 02-27-2012 at 06:41 PM..
 
Old 02-27-2012, 08:45 PM
 
Location: Jersey
870 posts, read 603,949 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Info Guy View Post
What if one spouse has an unfortunate accident?
I choose to not live my life with a sword hanging over me. But since you asked, we try and save money as well as have life insurance and health insurance. We try to plan for contingencies but no circumstances are perfect. We live our life frugally so that we can afford for me to stay at home and care for our children as that is what is important. We choose to live a life with a little less in order to stick to what is important to us. Why should both of us work our tushes off if we are unhappy with our life? Honestly what is the point of life at that point? We choose to try and adhere to the work to live not live to work mantra. It doesnt work for everyone but for us it is what we want for our life and our family.
 
Old 02-27-2012, 09:44 PM
 
4,215 posts, read 2,894,188 times
Reputation: 1516
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dave5150 View Post
I choose to not live my life with a sword hanging over me. But since you asked, we try and save money as well as have life insurance and health insurance. We try to plan for contingencies but no circumstances are perfect. We live our life frugally so that we can afford for me to stay at home and care for our children as that is what is important. We choose to live a life with a little less in order to stick to what is important to us. Why should both of us work our tushes off if we are unhappy with our life? Honestly what is the point of life at that point? We choose to try and adhere to the work to live not live to work mantra. It doesnt work for everyone but for us it is what we want for our life and our family.
Why rely on 1 person to bring in the income? Where is the backup? Disablity insurance does not pay much either.
 
Old 02-27-2012, 10:00 PM
 
18,870 posts, read 13,512,067 times
Reputation: 24728
What it all boils down to, is that the OP has never lived a "frugal" lifestyle. Which is why she is in dire straights now. For example, I make a good salary, but I bought a used Honda, sure, I could have "afforded" a better car, but I live below my means. The OP has never done that, and does not know how.

I have a food budget, $150 a month, that includes wine, diet coke, eating out, all food eaten out. $150 is it. I have been at a point where all I have is lentils and rice. That is living frugal.

The OP has cable, cell, internet. I only pay for my cell, I don't need cable, or internet. The OP can easily go to the library, and use the computers there.

You can't become "frugal". It is a way of life. You either live it, or you just don't "get it". The OP does not "get it". You can't have your cake, and eat it too.
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