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Old 04-29-2012, 11:55 PM
 
Location: Victoria TX
38,757 posts, read 39,394,772 times
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Kids are going to grow up in a different environment than you did, and they are going to make it on their own as adults in a different environment than you are. They won't think there is anything odd about that environment, and will feel perfectly comfortable in it, learning by exposure to defend themselves from the risks and to gain from the opportunities.

Teach them by example how to do the right thing. Be the role model of what you want them to be, and at least you will have the hope that they will follow.

Stick a copy of "Desiderata" on the refrigerator.
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Old 04-30-2012, 09:35 PM
 
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I disagree with most. The odds are you will find more trashy people in the lower end neighborhood. This is not saying that good folks who raise their children to be respectful don't live in these neighborhoods also. They do, but you will have a greater percentage of people who may not have the same expectations of their kids as you do. If your kids get tight with the wrong kids, this could pose a problem for you.
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Old 05-01-2012, 12:37 AM
 
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Some of the WORST kids I have seen live in rich neighborhoods.

Some of the nicest people in the world I have met live in poor neighborhoods. They will give you the shirt off their back if you need it. A good place to raise kids.

Other than that, people can be mean, nasty, selfish, will try to take advantage of and cheat/steal from others, will be violent, etc. I feel it is best kids be exposed to this rather than being sheltered from it. Then when they go out into the cold cruel world on their own, they will be good and ready!
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Old 05-03-2012, 10:10 AM
 
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It is not A or B. Here a lot depends on your school district and sometimes an individual school (although redistricting can make that a gamble). I would search out the school(s) and then look for a reasonably priced home in that area.

I would want a neighborhood with kids that are involved in activities, are approx the same age range, and with employed parents. Neighborhoods filled with retired folks are nice but may not have the activities. I would look for a house with some kind of safe area to play, whether a yard, a park, a school yard, etc. The house or size of house is not as important.

A friend who had a dbl income lived in an area full of subsidized tenants since she was comfortable there and the rent, even market rent, was very low. They lived there until there was physical violence found amoung the kids in the neighborhood (stabbing,etc.). She found when they got a small house in the next township, her kids were more than a year behind in the township school but had so many more advantages in that area. Her son became a great football player and won a scholarship. They stuck to a house they could afford on her income for stability and are still in it almost 20 years later. She wonders what the time in the apartment did to her kids.
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Old 05-03-2012, 10:25 AM
 
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I feel two ways about this...one...you find vulgar kids in high end neighborhoods too. But...I had kids...and lived in the most expensive school district I could. I did not buy a house, I rented to live in an exclusive area....and no regrets. My friend at work bought a house where she could afford...the high school was basically next to a ghetto. Her kids were harassed. Huge racial tension....knifing was common at her kids school...like on a daily basis.

Go higher end....if you can.
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Old 05-03-2012, 11:44 AM
 
Location: Chapel Hill, NC (formerly Vienna, VA)
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Move.
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Old 05-03-2012, 03:30 PM
 
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Buy where you'll feel comfortable living.

And the children of the wealthy are just as filthy-mouthed as the poor. I've heard some real interesting sentences coming out of kids who live in multi-million dollar homes.
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Old 05-03-2012, 06:08 PM
 
Location: Lemon Grove, CA, 91945
4,536 posts, read 4,866,937 times
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syracusa,

I choose #1.
Here is why: I am a firm believer that kids, if you raise them and they respect you and your decisions, those values will ultimately win at some point. It may not happen when you want it to happen, but its the times when they need to make real decisions that it will shine through.

I also believe that growing up seeing that other kids or parents are NOT like you helps identify who you really are or what you dont want to be. Kids are sensitive and can pick up that kind of thing. So here is the problem. I cant think of any parent that would advocate the above, treat their kid like a sociological experiment and then brag about it.

I also cant possibly believe that EVERYONE in this neighborhood you are talking about is like this. I cant help but think there are other decent parents or kids in this neighborhood. I think with that being said, the hope is that the law of averages will play out and inherently your kids will mutually understand some of those shared values.

So here is the question. Will you feel a deep regret moving because its against your nature, but 'think' its good for your kids? Or do you think your virtues of being a parent and staying put are your wheelhouse that your kids can depend on?

Do you think your kids will hug you later in life as adults and say "thanks for raising me here instead of there because now I am such a better person for it?" I can almost guarantee they will love you and appreciate you for ANYTHING you have done because guess what? They wont know anything else except for the life that you raised them in and appreciate it regardless.
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Old 05-04-2012, 06:35 AM
 
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Many move to expensive neighborhoods with high taxes for the schools. Often you can live in a less fashionable locale and send kids to private schools. Bonus they live where people learn to live without gobs of money.
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Old 05-04-2012, 11:00 AM
 
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Just have your son meet friends at school, invite them over or drop him off for play times. A lot of parents don't let their kids roam the neighborhoods, it doesn't matter what class their in. I live in a rich area, huge homes and a neighborhood boy asked my son who was around 7 at the time to actually "you know" his wiener. I realized then that it's ok to cherry pick your kids friends. They will find time to play with them when they get older. Right now at 6 they get plenty of social time at school. They don't have to have neighborhood friends. You will have to be cautious in any area.
But, you do have to have money. Your child will be happy if you are secure. Regardless of area. If you aren't secure then you will worry and it will effect the family. Security IMO is above all.
I'm in the process of moving out of a "great neighborhood" to a more affordable home so that I have my security back. I found the area didn't differ that much from any other. But the money I had to spend monthly made me push myself to the edge. I felt the trade off wasn't good enough.
I'd stay with door #1 or look for a replacement for #1 that is affordable. If the other area is a must then downsize so that you can afford more security. Get a two bedroom instead of a three for example. Get the fixer upper in the nice area and slowly do what you can. That kind of thing. Keep your monthly down.
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