Trying to Learn to be Frugal! (sell, sale, old, money)

[ukrkoz]

25 000 income, 5 cars, 3 of them useless pretty much, non-employed spouse and 2 kids. Bunch of debt. You need to make appointment with Dave Ramsey.
See, problem is not really in you, but in environment you grew in. You simply were brewed on a wrong yest and your parents apparently did not set the right example.
As a result, you have compulsive spending behavior. You do not have proper mental and psychological boundaries set and are only asking for patchwork. This is not frugality. Frugality is state of mind, like Zen meditation, and either is embedded into you from childhood, or learned with proper thinking.
Consider it the same issue, as quitting drinking or smoking. It is a decision that has to be made, habit disposed of, and only THEN any expense cutting plans and tricks will work. Otherwise, you'll binge again and again and again - just like they want you to.
It is a very tough decision to take, and both you and your spouse have to take it. Also, keep in mind - your children then will grow in the environment proper, and their too, and so you set entire family tree of frugal people. Isn't it worth it?
From that decision on, as far as you can get on internet, you can find plethora of FREE advice on how to rid of your debts and go frugal. But they all are only as good, as your desire and determination to stick to THE PLAN.
As there will be much sacrifice. Fun in life will have to go for years, eating out too, cars must be sold and replaced with economy reliable boxes your friends will be smirking at, you will need to learn how to cook, as in cook, not to open boxes and reheat stuff, learn how to DIY vehicles maintenance and repairs and everything around the house, and seriously reconsider your employment and her education. Out of all well paid jobs (and super secure) she wants to go into "finance"? Is that some plague in the country, that every young person wants to be a business manager and financial worker? And then sit on butt do nothing waiting for that dream job "that is worth my education" to come?

[petch751]

Originally Posted by ukrkoz

you can find plethora of FREE advice on how to rid of your debts and go frugal. But they all are only as good, as your desire and determination to stick to THE PLAN.

You are right, you have to be determined because all the advise in the world will not help if you are not determined.

Start with the credit card with the lowest amount. Once you pay it off you feel like you accomplished something... and do not use it again. Take the payment and apply it to the next credit card and so on until everything is paid off. It is pretty basic advise but you have to be determined.

Make a plan for not giving into temptation.

[MsAnnThrope]

Originally Posted by Brandmaner

Thank you. I can say we didn't plan our children but love them non the less. I have both of there names tattooed on my chest lol. (the only tattoos I have.) We have gotten rid of every vehicle except my truck which I owe 5500$ on and her Versa we owe 19200 on. Once these are done.. that's it lol. I'll drive mine till it craps out and fix whatever crapped out. And hers.. once crapped out I will prob get her a "new" used car. A more midsized to large car. But for our current needs her car is perfect. Great mileage, brand new... 120k mile warranty( or 6yrs which ever comes first). So yea, I wish we hadn't but at the same time I am glad we did.

Now if I can find ways to cut coners and keep things cheap, we should be able to still make a nice sizeable nestegg. Once her car is paid for.. We hope to have a nice downpayment for a home. We want at least 20% down, but would love to have 50% or more.

Thanks!

I am very frugal, I think it's my Scots heritage.

I would rather die than spend that much on a car no matter how rich I was. Some of the lifestyles of the rich and famous make me sick, they are so incredibly consumer-driven.

Recently I have had to quit work and not earning has been horrific and taught me all sorts of new ways to survive.

Aside from the obvious, like budgeting, these are my tricks -

Have "no spend" days. Not as easy as it sounds...most days you spend money on something, even if it's small. Stop doing that...make one "shopping day" and stick to it. Make your lunch instead of buying it, bring a thermos instead of buying lattes.

Groceries - this is the area you can make the biggest savings, hands down. Going vegetarian a couple of days a week is a great start, beans and pulses are yummy if cooked right, and cheap as chips. Plan your meals, don't leave it to chance. Bulk cook for those days you dont have time/can't be bothered. And don't forget the old fashioned classics! I have rediscovered my enjoyment of macaroni cheese (homemade from scratch) and omelettes (eggs are cheap).

If you have kids, get rid of the fancy breakfast cereals, they're full of sugar and preservatives anyway. Stop buying soft drink, make them drink water, its much better for them. Stop the junk food, make it a treat instead of a regular occurence, likewise candy.

Fresh fruit and vegetables are far more filling and healthy than processed carp. You want to start eating Low GI as it's filling and cheaper and healthier.

Walk. Stop taking your car out for short trips, say to the shop or bank.

Stop calling people on your cell and yapping away. Those things can get very expensive.

I always buy regular purchases such as kitty litter and coffee in bulk, but first I check it's actually cheaper that way. Sometimes you will find it doesn't make much difference what size you buy in, but usually with things like coffee and milk and laundry detergent (here at least) the bigger the pack, the bigger the savings.

Hang out your washing instead of chucking it in the drier - it makes clothes last longer too.

Plan your wardrobe instead of just grabbing what appeals...you will probably find you only need a handful of new items each season if you do that.

I colour my own hair and keep it long so I don't need regular trims.

I clean my teeth twice a day so don't need the dentist.

I eat healthy and exercise so I don't go to the doctor or take prescriptions...if I do have to, it's generic brand.

I'm in love with plain pack...most times its far, far cheaper and just as good.

Go directly to a wholesale butcher and buy your meat in bulk. Invest in a good freezer if you don't already have one. This will save you an absolute fortune.

Shop around!!!! I can get a raw chicken at my supermarket for $10, or I can go to the market and get 2 for $10!

Chicken is great...you can roast it, use leftovers for sandwiches or pasta, use the bones for soup. You should be able to get at least 3 meals out of one roast chicken, if you're feeding two.

Bacon is also good...a little bit goes a long way, like in a pasta sauce for example, and it helps if you don't feel deprived.

I will often have just one "large" meal, usually at lunch, and have an egg on toast or something light for dinner. Breakfast is cheap as can be as it's weetbix and toast, maybe half a banana.

snacks - good old fashioned sandwiches, toasted or fresh, fruit, smoothies, sometimes I buy yoghurt or pretzels or nuts. (big bag of course).

[Brandmaner]

Thanks! Also we only have 2 cars. I just made note of the bad habbits "I" did have. I've traded/sold all the other cars to get to where I am now. We have decied to stay living where we are now, since it's free on the rent part. (All we pay is utilites) Pay off the truck, and personal loan with tax money. Then starting with the biggest payment cc and working down till we have nothing left. Then starting a savings account for at least 10k before we move. By the time this is all done should have taken roughly 1-2.5yrs. Which means I'll owe less than 12k on her car, and everything else will be debt free. I am done buying cars!!!!!

Also to the one who noted I might have been raised wrong, my father bought his 1999 truck in 2002, has had it since. Has 327k miles, He fixes everything that goes wrong with it and refuses to get a new one. My mother drives a 2002 Mustang, bought it in 05 (She didn't have a car until then only my dads truck) and still drives it today free and clear. They owe 5k on there home, and 7.5k on the land then there 100% debt free. That's with only my father working making 35-40k a year, supporting a family of 7 until I moved out 5 years ago, then it was 6 and as of this past summer its 5. So he is "Frugal" to an extent, he smokes (as does my mother) and they drink a ton of soda. Which I'm sure is where I get mine.

Anyways, I do want to set a good example for my children, my son who is 4 does not drink soda at all at home. He get's a little with him grandmother, because she's a softie. At home he drinks 1-2 cups of kool-aid, 2-3 cups of milk, and the rest water in a normal day on the weekend. During the week he is at pre-k, so I'm sure its milk/water only up there.

We want to eat healthier, but around here it's a lot more expensive to eat that way. We are trying what my parents call the christmas time diet for a few months to see if we can save some dough like that. It's basically baked potatoes, small meat dish, mac and cheese, and cornbread/ biscuits. Shouldn't cost us more then 3-5$ a night if done right. That's how my father has always provided us with a nice christmas every year.

Thanks again for all the advice and tips. I am looking into all different kinds of plans. I've also considered a CD w/ 30 day roll-over, so I can gain some small interest while still having ease to get to the money. If I do this I'll pay off the truck and put the rest in the CD, and every 30 days I'll gain maybe 1-3$, that's still more then I had though. As the money grows my debts will shrink and I'll have more and more each month. Not sure how well this will work out in the field, but in theory its nice.

[uptown_urbanist]

I'd do some more experimenting with cooking. Eating healthy shouldn't have to cost more. The trick is to cook primarily from scratch. And of course some ingredients are more expensive than others. Buy seasonally, check out places like Aldi or often local ethnic groceries for good prices on produce (often much cheaper than the local bigger supermarkets; I think this is also often true for the meat, too), know your prices so you can stock up during great sales, buy in bulk when it makes sense. Go light on the meat (and cheese). Beans are both very nutritious and really cheap, especially if you cook from dry (which gives you more options and control, anyway), and you can do about a million different things with them. Your "Christmas diet" is really starchy -- I don't think you'd want to do that every night. Perhaps take the general idea (figuring out some go-to inexpensive meals) and expand the concept a bit? In any case, if you want to eat healthier you should be able to do without breaking the bank, although it will probably take a little more work, at least initially while you get used to it, than heading into your local one-stop supermarket and buying whatever looks good. It pays to know all the local sources and to be flexible so that you can take advantage of the best deals of the week.

[HappyTexan]

Best of luck to you Brandmaner. You've set your goals.
Perfect time of the year too..make this your New Year's resolution.

But do splurge once in a while and take the kids out for ice cream or a trip to one of those pizza buffets that have a game room or a FF restaurant with a playscape.

Kids are only kids once.

I live frugal but once a week took my son to Dairy Queen and let him bring a friend. Kids meal with toys and an hour or two in the playscape and he was happy as a lark.

[Newdaawn]

Make an extra effort to work some healthy veggies into your son's diet. Carrots and green beans are not that expensive. When you only eat starchy veggies such as potatoes and lots of mac and cheese your health suffers. Also saw where he drinks kool aid every day. That is totally LOADED with sugar.

[petch751]

Brandmanor, you have part of the battle won just by realizing that the current way is not good. Some advise may be hard to take but it is good advise. You're girlfriend is in finance so maybe take up educating yourself in personal finance. Maybe get a second job where the second job pay is dedicated to paying off all debt only. Do it for one year with your girlfriend on board with the plan. If she isn't then it will fall apart.

Maybe start a business doing something you love. You love cars so is it possible for you to start a small business?

PS, once you get your debt paid off you will have more money because you are not wasting your hard earned money throwing it away on interest.

[slowlane3]

For God's sake, cancel your cable TV entirely. Instead, use the radio, CDs, Youtube, or other recorded music. (Billions of people throughout recorded history survived without even THAT much - and still do). Borrow DVD's for free from your public library- that's what you pay taxes for - or buy at thrift stores. Similary, borrow library magazines and books. Hang your clothes on the rack to dry - they will last longer, because you're not losing the "lint". A home phone line is unnecessary in modern times - Use only your cell phone and keep it turned on during all waking hours, and don't use special applications.

Buy store-brand groceries and drug / beauty products as much as possible - especially from Wal Mart - and in large sizes if it's something that will "keep." See if you qualify for groceries from a church or charity "food bank" giveaway.

Combine errands into one single trip when possible. Don't carry excess weight in your vehicle. Keep your tires inflated to the recommendation shown on the door - NOT the figure stamped on the sidewall. Slow down well before coming to red lights - you will save gas. Don't gamble or ever buy lottery tickets -- they are a poor investment. Wash your car by hand. Change your own oil. Don't waste money on "nail salons" or tattoos - these are very recent phenomenon.

If you must eat out, bring your own powdered tea or lemonade mix - and pour it into a free glass of water. Take home any leftovers.

Instead of paying "health club" membership, just get natural exercise by walking, running, bicycling, calesthenics.

[Brandmaner]

All great ideas!! I'd love to get a 2nd job to help take out the debt, but sadly with the two little ones, I don't have anyone to sit with them in the evenings so I could do so. As there mother works evenings after school. I also want to cancel our tv, as to me it makes us very lazy, and put off a lot of things to watch "one" more show that doesn't ever seem to end. I'm sure I could find a majority of what we watch on tv on the interenet via stream for free anyways.

We do a lot of our shopping from Wal-Mart now since my fiancee works there in the pharmacy and gets 10% discount on the majority of items. We are working on learning to cook more from scratch. We are open to any recipe websites, or good cook books that'd be a good investment in the long term.

We've also both agreed our spending has to slow down, just in the past week I had my fiancee use nothing but my debit card so I could show her the needless transactions she's been doing. She told me "Oh it's just a drink from sonic @ happy hour." But when we got to looking at all the charges for a M-F week she had spent well over $40+ on sonic, other take-outs, and some small not needed items from wal-mart. I hate to tell her she can't have any of the things she enjoys from a day to day basis now, but we have to cut back. Possibly start out with just one drink a week from sonic instead of 4-6 a week. And slowly turn that into once every other week untill she's down to about 1 a month.

I myself have already stopped eating at the store next to work, and notice a major saving. I was spending roughly 3-5 for breakfast, then at least 5-8 for lunch. Now I'm eating a bowl of ceral before I leave in the morning, or a scrambled egg sandwhich if I get up in time. And taking a cup of ramen noodles or a couple sandwiches for lunch. Prob got down to as little as 15-20$ a week now for breakfast and lunch at work. That would have been just breakfast before. I hope to keep improving on this also. I'd like to eat breakfast and lunch for around 10$ a week but not sure if I can do this or not yet.

Thanks again for all the great advice, it is my new year resolution to get out of all my debt. I know in one years time I can not clear all that I have built up, but I sure as heck can make a big dent! I'll keep my progress going threw this thread as new ideas and advice show up, just so everyone knows there advice is being put to the test. I am very greatful for the help all of you have provided to me. I am a stranger yet you still helpt me out. Thanks again!!


-Brandon