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Old 02-24-2013, 05:43 AM
 
1,020 posts, read 2,681,981 times
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every time i meet new friends I would hang out with them a few times, then after that if they called me i wont go. or old friends, I would only go hang out if i haven't seen them for half a year or so.

when I go out, such as clubbing, restaurant, bowling, etc, i always pay for myself, or i pay for someone else and in turn, the next time, they pay for me. I never mooch off my friends.



I am 26, they way i feel is that what i make an hour after taxes (10) its so hard to save up. to just spend a night out costs about 50 to 80 bucks, which is what i make in a days work, only to blow it in a couple hours. most of the time when i meet people, they want me to hang out and socialize with them, I do that, and then after a few times, i would make up excuses of being busy, and sooner or later they wont call me anymore. its like when i see on facebook of my friends posting pictures, i would get a little sad when they are having fun that night, but then again if i was having fun with them, my pocket will suffer, and i would also get sad, if only i made more money/dont have as much bills. I would say most of the people i know have fun once per week to let off all the stress, and at the most, 2 weeks. for myself, the last time i ate out/hung out with anyone was probably a year ago.


are some of you guys like me? is there a fine line/balance in this? there is 1 good thing about me that is different. I can loose my job and still be ok for 1 year, while people i know around my age are already in deep credit card debt. on one hand i can see a point in "enjoying life" and the other is not worrying about money or getting into a nasty situation where i'm desperate.
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Old 02-24-2013, 07:41 AM
 
Location: Western Washington
8,004 posts, read 9,656,439 times
Reputation: 19409
Civic....that is just life. You make your choice. Are you responsible, or are you careless with your finances. You look at your FB page and see these people "having fun", yet so many of them blow all of their hard-earned pay and rack up CC debt like crazy. The next thing you know, they're back on the parents' backs, because they "can't have their cake and eat it too"!

Remember the phrase, "Everything in moderation". It's all part of growing up and being responsible with your assets. You are WISE and mature to know that you better "worry about money" or you're going to be in a nasty situation, where you're desperate. What really gets me about some of those people you're talking about, is that they're so busy "enjoying life" and not worrying about their money, they end up being a BURDEN to others, both financially and emotionally.

People like that are incredibly, emotionally draining, to those who care about them. By that, I mean that their loved ones don't want to see them hurting and going without, but eventually they get sick and tired of going without, themselves, while the irresponsible ones always seem to have money to play with.

"I'm gonna get kicked out/lose my car/have my power shut off/don't have food..etc., because there were more bills than paycheck this month." Translation...."I was so foolish and irresponsible AGAIN that my playing took up most of my paycheck. Can you support me, so that I can go out with my friends! I mean, I want to LIVE.....not just work!"

Gaaaagh.....find new friends, ones who know how to prioritize. You can have fun AND save money. You just have to be smart about it. Good luck and thanks for posting!
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Old 02-24-2013, 08:14 AM
 
5,640 posts, read 16,929,451 times
Reputation: 3963
You can go out on the cheap. Perhaps you should suggest a place to go out? Going to a bowling alley can be good cheap fun. Or there are free activities out there if you look. I know the clubs can be expensive. But you can go out and not spend a lot on drinks. Just drink coke or gingerale - add a lime and it looks like you are drinking. Instead of buying bottled beer, buy whatever domestic they have on tap.
Go to a local pub and play darts.
Thing is, once you start drinking, then you start buying more drink$$$, etc... you have to watch yourself there.
Going out to eat for me is the most expensive. Maybe you should suggest the restaurant? You can go to the latest and greatest place to eat, or you can go to a nice mom and pop places that probably has great food. Or just go to a movie.
Also, check groupon for deals on places to go out. Perhaps you can get your friends to do the same! They might appreciate it too.
Nothing to be ashamed of in being careful with your money. Your friends may actually be envious.
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Old 02-24-2013, 10:46 AM
 
2,135 posts, read 3,532,911 times
Reputation: 1670
I don't have a lot of friends and am fine with that. Doesn't matter to me. If you can't spend $50 every week that is fine. Just say I can't afford it....no point in spending all your money on drinks and living poor. Find new friends if need be. It is life.

I just went to a waterpark this weekend with a few friends. Didn't have too much money and when we went out to eat I just bought smaller things than normal. I didn't need a $22 steak or anything. Also we went o the breakfast buffet before we left...$13.95! Dinner buffets aren't even that much and I can get steak, lobster, stir fry, anything I want. Not pay $14 for some waffles and home fries. I told them I would get a parfait for $3 and be fine....I don't eat breakfast anyways. A friend said he would pay. Worked out great....said "thank you" at the end and I will pay for them if they ever needed it.
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Old 02-24-2013, 10:52 AM
 
518 posts, read 667,549 times
Reputation: 962
You could get a group to go to festivals. The wine festival near here costs around 15 bucks and it is a whole day of tastings and bands. Throw a pot luck at your house and ask everyone to bring a dish and a bottle. If you live out of town have a bonfire, a case of beer and some chili. People will bring beer and you will have extra for next time if you save it. Just do happy hour when drinks are cheaper. Go to the bars that have specials like a wing night or boiled shrimp night. Groupons are great. Have groups over for afternoon football or to watch a specific movie. Join a hiker's meet up group...just saying.

Put a little effort into it or be alone-not much other choice.
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Old 02-24-2013, 11:01 AM
 
1,638 posts, read 2,471,757 times
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I understand where you are coming from.

I'm making a decent income for my age, yet my friends (low to mid 20's like me) are still in the party hardy phase and spending a lot of money at bars and clubs.

I'll go out at least once a week with them, however I'll only have a drink or two. If my friends really want to go out, I'll go.

I also have an older male friend who makes a bit more scratch than I do and will cover the bar tab for us "younger" folks, since he is the one dragging us out half the time. It's a nice gesture, but I have no problem accepting it because I think it's a nice gesture and I would do the same for him if I had a lot of extra cash.

I agree that you should suggest alternate plans. Without telling your friends your income (because it really isn't the point here), you could tell them that your expenditures need to take a break because you are saving up for some other goals in your life down the road. They should respect your decision and be open to different plans.

If not, you could just do what I do and sip on one drink and waters all night. I also like to drive home, so usually excessive booze purchases are out of the picture anyways.
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Old 02-24-2013, 03:17 PM
 
Location: North Idaho
20,999 posts, read 25,765,271 times
Reputation: 39390
Civic, make a preemptive strike. You call first and invite your friends to do something inexpensive. There has to be something in your area that is cheap and fun.

Ask friends to join you for junk hunting at the Saturday Flea Market, or to go bike riding in the park. How about a nature hike, kite flying, walking around the marina to look at the sail boats?

Dress up and pretend to be sophisticated and attend art gallery openings. Those are free and you'll get a glass of wine.

If the people you know can not make themselves enjoy anything but getting drunk and trying to pick up free encounters, then find new friends. There are lots of people out there who have to count their pennies and would love to have a group of friends who have fun but are also careful with money. Put a group of those people together to be your friends.
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Old 02-24-2013, 03:26 PM
 
Location: NJ
22,674 posts, read 28,568,174 times
Reputation: 14611
when i was younger and still going out drinking, we spent a lot of money in clubs and bars. if i wanted to cut some of the expense down, my best bet probably would have been inviting over people to my place to hang out and provide some drinks/food and let people bring some also. now that i think about it, that would have worked when i had a wife/gf and didnt go out for the purpose of finding chicks to bang. when you have friends in that phase, if you want to have people come to your place you will need to make sure there are single girls that come over (preferably ones that put out).
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Old 02-24-2013, 03:44 PM
 
2,096 posts, read 2,940,545 times
Reputation: 2254
Quote:
Originally Posted by civic94 View Post
every time i meet new friends I would hang out with them a few times, then after that if they called me i wont go. or old friends, I would only go hang out if i haven't seen them for half a year or so.

when I go out, such as clubbing, restaurant, bowling, etc, i always pay for myself, or i pay for someone else and in turn, the next time, they pay for me. I never mooch off my friends.



I am 26, they way i feel is that what i make an hour after taxes (10) its so hard to save up. to just spend a night out costs about 50 to 80 bucks, which is what i make in a days work, only to blow it in a couple hours. most of the time when i meet people, they want me to hang out and socialize with them, I do that, and then after a few times, i would make up excuses of being busy, and sooner or later they wont call me anymore. its like when i see on facebook of my friends posting pictures, i would get a little sad when they are having fun that night, but then again if i was having fun with them, my pocket will suffer, and i would also get sad, if only i made more money/dont have as much bills. I would say most of the people i know have fun once per week to let off all the stress, and at the most, 2 weeks. for myself, the last time i ate out/hung out with anyone was probably a year ago.


are some of you guys like me? is there a fine line/balance in this? there is 1 good thing about me that is different. I can loose my job and still be ok for 1 year, while people i know around my age are already in deep credit card debt. on one hand i can see a point in "enjoying life" and the other is not worrying about money or getting into a nasty situation where i'm desperate.
Why don't you host a potluck dinner at your place? It won't cost you much and you can all have a chance to hang out and catch up.
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Old 02-24-2013, 03:50 PM
 
47,576 posts, read 58,711,508 times
Reputation: 22158
You could find other kinds of friends that aren't so into clubbing and eating out. But also I could always go out to clubs because usually the cover charge is affordable and no one makes you buy expensive drinks once you're inside. You can even buy one mixed drink or one beer and don't have any more and it's cheap enough for an evening of music and fun. The cost of the cover and just one drink usually isn't going to be over $50 and up to $80. Maybe more like under $15.

Same when going out to a restaurant, you can go but just get a soup or a side if you want to save money. That's my suggestion for a fine line or balance -- you can almost always actually afford to go out but not go into debt. You don't even have to admit you're being frugal or cheap if you just order a soup and ice tea, you can say you're trying to get in shape and cut some calories.
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