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Answering this thread's question this comes to mind: my first husband didn't like to work. At one point we (him and I and our daughter 18 months old) only had one potato in the house to eat. We gave it to our daughter(cooked of course) If he was alive today I would chew him out and ask him why he even bothered having a wife and child if he didn't intend to feed us. I have a picture of myself during those times and I was skin and bone. I was very young at the time and didn't think to just get a job myself until a couple of years later. Had 2 more kids with him and after 14 years realized I could do it myself and divorced him. I raised 3 kids by myself after that, (youngest was 6) and had 3 jobs at one time and they always had food even if I had to get food stamps, which one year I did when I was layed off. This husband was a salesman, smooth talker, and he would always make it a point to meet the neighbors and they would feel sorry for us and give him money for food! I never said a word, but oh howdy, would my mouth be going now!
Yeah. I grew up poor. Then, as an unwanted stepchild, I was dumped when I was 17. I never went home again after that.
Now I'm 67. I'm fairly wealthy. We own 3 homes, cash, stocks, and we're retired. I can buy pretty much whatever I want, but I don't want much. We just spent a week in Bermuda.
How did I get from A to B? I stumbled across a book called "Psycho-cybernetics". I read that book until I wore the cover off! Then I found "Think and Grow Rich" and I read that, too. I've still got my original copy out in my office; I looked at it a few weeks ago to see when I had signed it and dated it. It was 1970.
I had trouble speaking to people - especially stranger - so I stayed up and watched Johnny Carson (remember him?) to learn how to keep a conversation going. I read everything I could find about salesmanship and personal motivation and sales psychology.
By 1987 I was the top salesman at a major company. There are articles in newspapers of that time about me. The rest is just a matter of correcting mistakes as I made them, and trying to learn from the mistakes of others.
Read. Learn about goal setting and study those people who lecture on such things. Form a hero (Mine was Ross Perot, back in 1970 before most people ever heard of him) and learn all you can about him. Then copy him. Ask yourself, "What would _____ do in this situation?"
And never give up.
Listener..You seem like good people.. If I ever met you one day I would buy you a beer and pick your brain..Cheers
I ask this because I came across a post on a different forum and the comments got heated. Some of the people were so stuck up and not understanding or sympathetic at all. It made me wonder if they used to be poor too and now they aren't so they kind of have a disdain towards those who haven't gotten ahead like they have.
I grew up poor. I was homeless for the majority of my childhood and then when I was teenager was placed into foster care, which didn't really help. Now I'm in college but for a year, I worked two jobs and had nowhere to live so I slept on the all nighter bus (the route took a few hours), took showers at my gym, went to school then job #1 and then job #2. Eventually I saved up enough to get my own place and I'm still struggling kind of. I eat mostly salads and pb&j and occasionally ramen. I clip coupons, take public transportation and my apartment is furnished by secondhand furniture that the local st. vincent de paul donated to me. I am no longer homeless but I still consider myself poor so it saddens me to think people look down on people like me (and those who are worse off) because of my income and lack of assets.
So I ask: Have you ever been poor? How poor and if you aren't anymore, how did you move up?
Poor is relative. Growing up, my family was never the poor where we didn't have food, shelter or clothing. I wore hand me down clothes from my cousins. We grew a lot of food in our garden. We didn't eat junk food, but had plenty of meat and any other needed groceries. My dad bought a used trailer house and we lived on land my grandfather owned for a eight years until my dad had saved up enough money and built a nice house in a nice neighborhood. We did a lot of the work ourselves to save money. We seemingly had less than many of my peers. Now I know that we probably had more, but we lived within our means and made better choices. They didn't. To be honest, I don't always have a lot of respect for quite a few people who claim to be poor. Excluding someone with a disability, catastrophe, or a certain other situations, being poor is a choice.
Many of my peers could have gone further in life, but they didn't make that choice. When I was doing homework or studying for school, they were out partying. I didn't sleep around and didn't get pregnant with a baby I couldn't afford. Others made that choice. Some people always had money for beer, expensive clothes or nice vacations, but didn't have money for necessities. Some people had a lot of credit card debt before they even left school. My parents taught me to save my money and save below my means. I didn't spend every penney I made. I always kept some in a savings account. Money was tighter at times, but I managed it. If you want to move ahead, you have to be in a position to take advantage of opportunity when it shows up. I've been married now for several years. It's a household instead of just myself. Same principles apply.
I ask this because I came across a post on a different forum and the comments got heated. Some of the people were so stuck up and not understanding or sympathetic at all. It made me wonder if they used to be poor too and now they aren't so they kind of have a disdain towards those who haven't gotten ahead like they have.
I grew up poor. I was homeless for the majority of my childhood and then when I was teenager was placed into foster care, which didn't really help. Now I'm in college but for a year, I worked two jobs and had nowhere to live so I slept on the all nighter bus (the route took a few hours), took showers at my gym, went to school then job #1 and then job #2. Eventually I saved up enough to get my own place and I'm still struggling kind of. I eat mostly salads and pb&j and occasionally ramen. I clip coupons, take public transportation and my apartment is furnished by secondhand furniture that the local st. vincent de paul donated to me. I am no longer homeless but I still consider myself poor so it saddens me to think people look down on people like me (and those who are worse off) because of my income and lack of assets.
So I ask: Have you ever been poor? How poor and if you aren't anymore, how did you move up?
Yes. When I left home at 18. I went from comfortable middle class to poverty. I will never forget the diminished status.
I ask this because I came across a post on a different forum and the comments got heated. Some of the people were so stuck up and not understanding or sympathetic at all. It made me wonder if they used to be poor too and now they aren't so they kind of have a disdain towards those who haven't gotten ahead like they have.
I grew up poor. I was homeless for the majority of my childhood and then when I was teenager was placed into foster care, which didn't really help. Now I'm in college but for a year, I worked two jobs and had nowhere to live so I slept on the all nighter bus (the route took a few hours), took showers at my gym, went to school then job #1 and then job #2. Eventually I saved up enough to get my own place and I'm still struggling kind of. I eat mostly salads and pb&j and occasionally ramen. I clip coupons, take public transportation and my apartment is furnished by secondhand furniture that the local st. vincent de paul donated to me. I am no longer homeless but I still consider myself poor so it saddens me to think people look down on people like me (and those who are worse off) because of my income and lack of assets.
So I ask: Have you ever been poor? How poor and if you aren't anymore, how did you move up?
I don't look down on people like you who are working and trying to make a better life for themselves. I do look down on people who don't want to work and would rather take welfare and not try to do anything for themselves. There's a difference.
I have been poor. Grew up poor but didn't know we were poor. My dad worked hard and always made sure we had a place to live and food to eat, and without food stamps or welfare. And I really don't have a problem with people who need help getting welfare and food stamps if it's a temporary thing to help them until they can get on their feet. At the same time, I am proud that my dad raised me to believe it is my responsibility, not anyone else's, to provide for my family.
I come from generational poverty. I have always been poor. I have been poor in the projects, the trailer park, the city, the country and the suburbs. The only time in my life I wasn't poor was in high school I made a lot of money selling drugs and robbing people but I lost it all. I grew up taking showers in public restrooms, using the bathroom in plastic bags and stealing from grocery stores to feed myself. Growing up we never owned a car with heating , air conditioning or a radio. And we never owned a car that wasn't at least 15 years old. We usually didnt have A car period. When we were not homeless we often didn't have electricity and had to use stuff like sheets for curtains the only time I ever slept on a matress up till high school was at other peoples houses or in shelters. We also never bought condiments or toilet paper we would steal them. On christmas I would usually get socks, underwear, and white tees and on my birthday every year I would get one pair of shoes. A bike was never bought for me. I got my first one from my cousin when it broke and I robbed a nother kid for my 2nd one when I was 13.
My first videogame system I stole from a yard sale and I used to beat up weak kids for there pokemon cards in the bathroom in elementary school than sell them at card shops. I would also bring lunch bags to school and extort weaker kids out of there free lunch so I would have something to eat for dinner. Every summer sense elementary school till I was old enough to get a job I would be in the streets stealing, robbing, and selling just to survive. The first time I paid the rent by myself I was 11.
I grew up an only child I never met my father and my mother was on drugs most of my life. I also grew up seperated from the rest of my family constantly moving so I learned to be completely self sufficient and do whatever is nessessary to survive before my childhood ended. Really I never had a childhood. I never had any fun growing up I had to start making adult descions around the age of 6 every day.
To me not having anything but having family that can bail you out is not poor. Poor is when there is no hope, no one to turn to in times of need other than a church or shelter. I grew up poor and still am meaning my entire family is poor. If I fail there is no support system but it has made me strong. You can't defeat me the worst you can do is set me back. I wont give up no matter what and what some people consider the worst case scenario is a walk in the park to me. I would never kill myself but I am not afraid to die or go to jail. I've been shot at and it didn't scare me I've been to jail and it was much easier there than my childhood ever was. I dont like being There cause its detremental to my future but i feel very at home and comfortable incarcerated. I never have had anything to lose an still dont. Even when I escape this poverty I know my mentality will never change I just don't want my children to go thru what I've been thru so they end up having no feelings and being a cold robot like me unable to fear anything. I really wanna escape this and live a nice normal life with a nice normal woman who isn't from where I'm from and be a soccer dad but its so hard to come up when you can work so hard for years to come up than one thing happens that's out of your hands that ruins everything and your back at square one again with nowhere to turn for help.
I'm 25 and still poor. Sometimes I get really angry. I've never really been able to live my life or do anything I ever wanted to do. I left the life of crime years ago and now I feel so lost. My record is so long its so hard to find work and I feel very uncomfortable and insecure when I'm not surrounded by criminals and criminal activities. Normal situations make me so nervous and I can't sleep. How can I be good at anything but hustling stealing and robbing? I'm only 25 but that's the only field I have experience in an I have damn near 20 years experience in it. I want a normal life but everything normal is so foreign and intimidating to me. I'm just starting to even realize the life I always had that I thought was normal was actually very disfunctional. I'm really starting over psychologically right now. Growing up poor really can give you all sorts of emotional scars that are difficult to even recognize in yourself.
I Wish you good Luck to you. I'm glad your circumstances are better now. I've had money and I've been poor. Once (well a few times) I didn't have any kind of money for electric or for food. And when I did have food money it wasn't much. I would eat the leftovers off my children's plates for my supper. (if there were any) But I wouldn't change a thing, it made me who I am today. I appreciate everything I have. I help who I can when I can. My kids appreciate what they have, and take care of what they got. I do get upset when I see foodstamps wasted by people, some say they don't have money for food but have plenty for beer. Those people get me upset, not the folks who truly need them. It's scarey to think any of us could be right back in that situation again, jobloss, health problems, natural disaster. It's just taught me how to budget for sure.
SUSTENGO. You have had a tough life and getting past a "record" and your past is tough I am certain.
But I went back and read some of your other posts, and I can see you are an intelligent person. And because you posted the post above, says to me that you want out of your past life, and want more. Of course you feel more comfortable with the people who you have been around all your life. We are all most comfortable with what we know. But once you recognize you want more out of life, you need to break away and start to assimilate with people you want to become. Easier said then done, I know, because to other people you are not what they are familiar or comfortable with, nor do they want to go there. So, you need to understand this, and put that prejudice in your back pocket, cause it's not going to help you succeed.
Did you see the movie "Pursuit of Happiness"? If not, I would rent it or get it from your library. I think you will enjoy it immensely. It is so made for you in the place where you are now. I think you have passed the first hurdle in recognizing that what you had in the past in not what you want in the future. Now you just have to make up your mind that you are going to succeed through really hard work to better yourself in some profession (legal )
It is hard with a record to be hired by a large company, but there are still avenues. You don't want a dead end job. That is a job where there is no real opportunity for advancement. But, as an example, franchised fast food places are owned by individual investors who can hire you, if you can convince them that you can be trusted, and would be the best worker they ever had. And though it may not be your dream job (it's just one example) if you are the best worker they ever had, and they feel eventually they can trust you around money, then you can work your way up to manager. Managers at fast food chains make pretty good money (but long hours). And if your really really good, you can even work your way up to being a District Manager for someone who buys a fair number of stores. But convincing someone to trust you and give you a chance to prove yourself is going to be your biggest hurdle. After that, it is all up to you.
Anything can happen. One day you have it all, and the next people wouldn't even notice you. My family and I came to American when I was 7. We left everything, even though we didn't have much to start a new life. It was very tough the first few years because we had to learn a new language, new jobs, new friends. My parents split soon after. My mom had to take care of 3 kids. My older brother didn't want to be a burden so he left and join the army. My mom sometimes would work 2 jobs just to support me and my other brother. We didn't have much. I remember seeing my mom crying after work. She use to be very hard on us and still is to this day. As I grew older and more mature I understand why she was so tough. We never had a vacation. Our clothes were pass down from my cousins. Drove a car well pass 200k miles. I remember one time where I promised myself to never be in that situation. I was so embarrass and sad at the same time. My mom was crying in front of the lady that was working at the food bank. We had to get some can foods from the food bank and I never saw my mom crying like that before. She just simply broke down. I promise to myself that one day I will be successful and take care of my mom. There were also times where we stand in line for food stamps and medicare. I understand what it is like to live poor. All 3 of us living under $30k/yr. It was a very tough time indeed just looking back at it. We never celebrated our birthdays. To us it was just another day. Even though I got a little jealous seeing other kids have birthday presents and such. Now that I'm all grown up and making good money I still don't celebrate my birthday. I do take my mom out for her birthday or my dad. There were times where our apartment was infested with roaches but the owner did nothing. We even had a few mice. My mom gave us a little alarm clock and piggy bank for christmas. I would save some money up to $40 dollars (It was a lot to me at the time lol). Whenever the family needed money I would offer to take my money out of the piggy bank if that was a lot to save the family lol.... I still have th epiggy bank now sitting on top of my computer table. The tough times were the happiest. It is a lot lonelier now that my brother has moved out. Remember to count your blessings and thank God for what he has given you.
She worked in the cafeteria at an elementary school and hurt her back carrying the milk cartons. She still went through it to take care of us. She even had a so call boyfriend for many years even though she didn't really like him. However, he had the money to help the family. I remember she would cry and cry. Now that I have graduated and have a good job I began helping my mom pay for the mortgage. My other brother has a good job and a wife. They bought a new house. Even though we are much better off now, we still pray and live the same type of life. We are too afraid of making bad decisions that could get us back to where we started.
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