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Old 01-24-2016, 10:40 AM
 
Location: North Oakland
8,841 posts, read 8,175,768 times
Reputation: 13347

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Minervah View Post
This has happened to me a couple of times in my life. I met someone and we began a friendship. Right away even though it was nowhere near Christmas each time the person told me they were putting me on their "Christmas list" and asked me what things I liked.

Each time I told the person I don't "do" Christmas presents especially with people I just met so please leave me off the list. They were shocked.

Well, to me, giving someone a gift should be a thoughtful experience and from the heart, not an automatic, "I know you so we have to give each other something." I thought that was really being presumptuous on their part.

Not to mention the fact I'm Jewish.
I ended up "divorcing" a friend like this who insisted I participate in his Christmas celebration with his family. "It's just having dinner...nothing more than that...a day off from work."

Well, "just dinner" turned into this amazingly ostentatious gift-giving extravaganza between his and his brother's families. Sister-in-law, who didn't realize I was coming until the day before, re-tagged a couple of her daughters' gifts with my name. I got a coin-counter and a "First Book of American Presidents." Perfect for an eight-year old. Kind of silly for a somethingty-eight-year old. I hadn't brought any gifts, though I made chocolate mousse for dessert.

Not that the gifts themselves were the point. I was pissed because this was a hell of a lot more than "just dinner." It was embarrassing for both me and sister-in-law. I couldn't believe my friend was so tone-deaf about my feelings towards "the holidays."

I ended up ending the relationship, as I said above. He pulled another stunt not long after, canceling lunch with me 12 hours ahead of time, after I'd already gone out and bought everything we were going to eat, including a relatively expensive ingredient I wouldn't have bothered with otherwise. I just hung up on him. Enough already.

Last edited by jay5835; 01-24-2016 at 11:43 AM..
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Old 01-24-2016, 11:25 AM
 
Location: Lakewood OH
20,872 posts, read 22,451,999 times
Reputation: 32620
Quote:
Originally Posted by jay5835 View Post
I ended up "divorcing" a friend like this who insisted I participate in his Christmas celebration with his family. "It's just having dinner...nothing more than that...a day off from work."

Well, just dinner turned into this amazingly ostentatious gift-giving extravaganza between his and his brother's families. Sister-in-law, who didn't realize I was coming until the day before, re-tagged a couple of her daughters' gifts with my name. I got a coin-counter and a "First Book of American Presidents." Perfect for an eight-year old. Kind of silly for a somethingty-eight-year old. I hadn't brought any gifts, though I made chocolate mousse for dessert.

Not that the gifts themselves were the point. I was pissed because this was a hell of a lot more than "just dinner." It was embarrassing for both me and sister-in-law. I couldn't believe my friend was so tone-deaf about my feelings towards "the holidays."

I ended up ending the relationship, as I said above. He pulled another stunt not long after, canceling lunch with me 12 hours ahead of time, after I'd already gone out and bought everything we were going to eat, including a relatively expensive ingredient I wouldn't have bothered with otherwise. I just hung up on him. Enough already.
My former "friend," it was a very short-lived friendship, also wanted me to spend Christmas with her family. I politely declined. I can't think of anything more awkward than spending a holiday with a family I don't know. I thanked her and told her how I felt. She was insulted I think but I know I saved myself from feeling very uncomfortable having been in that situation before.

Life is to short to go along with something you don't feel is right for you.
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Old 01-28-2016, 11:10 PM
 
206 posts, read 155,572 times
Reputation: 135
Loved School Christmas ritual in 1980s, 'What did you get for Christmas?'

Me: "A mattress."

Hoots and Laughter.

Me: "Parents got me new $300 mattress."
-------------
Really kind of revolted with whole thought of bothering with church even unless you just walk into church full of strangers and sit through a mass. Churches here have been building on the hate-monger, them and us thing so is far from positive any longer.

Mall is definitely disgusting with zero manners and like running of the bull crap...Need to be maced or stampeded to death in Walmart on Black Friday ... to make Christmas spirits.
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Old 01-28-2016, 11:33 PM
 
Location: New Mexico
116 posts, read 71,757 times
Reputation: 313
Default Christmas - boo, hiss

I donno, maybe I just grew up different. and competition I don't recognize anyway. Christmas holidays are one of my pet peeves. It's the time when everything that's wrong with materialistic society comes to a head, basically. Whereas I try my best to ignore it, it's difficult when it's shoved in one's face from October on. It's a big lie perpetuated on society, as there's nothing Christian about it. Just look at its origins. Still, people will follow along with what everyone else is doing and succumb to the pressures and expectations. Do what makes you happy. I do a simple solstice thing. I don't shop, mail cards, bake or whatever. As far as buying junk, I don't. Why, for someone's thrill of opening a package? Where is it written in stone that one needs Christmas to give a gift, or get family together?? I'm glad to see that some attitudes about it are changing, however slowly.
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Old 01-28-2016, 11:43 PM
 
20 posts, read 10,373 times
Reputation: 23
In the part of our earning we can spend something on christmas.
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Old 02-02-2016, 11:46 AM
 
Location: Mid-Atlantic
22,714 posts, read 21,770,674 times
Reputation: 27764
Quote:
Originally Posted by KS101 View Post
Loved School Christmas ritual in 1980s, 'What did you get for Christmas?'

Me: "A mattress."

Hoots and Laughter.

Me: "Parents got me new $300 mattress."
-------------
Really kind of revolted with whole thought of bothering with church even unless you just walk into church full of strangers and sit through a mass. Churches here have been building on the hate-monger, them and us thing so is far from positive any longer.

Mall is definitely disgusting with zero manners and like running of the bull crap...Need to be maced or stampeded to death in Walmart on Black Friday ... to make Christmas spirits.
I love gifts like that!
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Old 02-04-2016, 10:58 AM
 
Location: On a Farm & by the sea
1,081 posts, read 2,433,995 times
Reputation: 920
Quote:
Originally Posted by bpollen View Post
Yes, it has gotten to be TOO much. Everything is gifts gifts gifts. And nice ones, too. People are getting picky about their gifts, have you noticed?

I never spent a lot, compared to other people. Now, I spend almost nothing. I send cards, when I send anything. I just stopped sending gifts to nieces and nephew because they've gotten older, I live out of state, and I never get a thank you or even a Christmas card from them. So now I'll use that money for something else. I have a relative in a nursing home, so I spend money on her. And I have a favorite charity.

Christmas to me means more nostalgic things. Egg nog, a home roasted turkey, favorite Christmas movies, candles and diffuser scents, Christmas decorations, chats or visits with family.

I enjoy the holidays much more since I quit the hectic traveling and gift buying that I would get so anxious over.
Yeah, bpollen, exactly.
An earlier poster said it also...gifts are a TOKEN of your affection. I pulled back from doing gifts several years ago. I try to do something special for a few close relatives and friends but small things. TOKENS to show them that I care for them and remember them during this special season.

I love the extended Christmas season and start enjoying the Christmas music in early November, along with the special foods we prepare only during that time of year. I enjoy Church most during this season as well. I miss it already.....
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Old 02-06-2016, 11:03 AM
 
Location: On the Edge of the Fringe
4,638 posts, read 3,731,822 times
Reputation: 3890
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tinabean View Post
Yeah, bpollen, exactly.
An earlier poster said it also...gifts are a TOKEN of your affection. I pulled back from doing gifts several years ago. I try to do something special for a few close relatives and friends but small things. TOKENS to show them that I care for them and remember them during this special season.

I love the extended Christmas season and start enjoying the Christmas music in early November, along with the special foods we prepare only during that time of year. I enjoy Church most during this season as well. I miss it already.....
Being that I only go to Church right around Christmas, I can relate.

I too started with the music early. For presents, people in my family got a lot of junk, by the boxes from us. We basically went through and cleaned out all those things we had bought over the last few years that we thought we or someone else would like, but instead they lived in a box in the storage closet.

I love the Christmas, but my kids got on board with paring down the number of presents here. We are starting to focus more on events, experiences than gifts. And donating for people who have no money to enjoy anything.
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Old 02-23-2016, 09:42 AM
 
Location: Land of Free Johnson-Weld-2016
6,474 posts, read 13,413,676 times
Reputation: 6404
Quote:
Originally Posted by colorsofspring View Post
Lately I just bake cookies or breads as gifts.
What a great idea!
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Old 09-17-2017, 09:02 PM
 
248 posts, read 100,738 times
Reputation: 552
Quote:
Originally Posted by Girldawg1 View Post
I donno, maybe I just grew up different. and competition I don't recognize anyway. Christmas holidays are one of my pet peeves. It's the time when everything that's wrong with materialistic society comes to a head, basically. Whereas I try my best to ignore it, it's difficult when it's shoved in one's face from October on. It's a big lie perpetuated on society, as there's nothing Christian about it. Just look at its origins. Still, people will follow along with what everyone else is doing and succumb to the pressures and expectations. Do what makes you happy. I do a simple solstice thing. I don't shop, mail cards, bake or whatever. As far as buying junk, I don't. Why, for someone's thrill of opening a package? Where is it written in stone that one needs Christmas to give a gift, or get family together?? I'm glad to see that some attitudes about it are changing, however slowly.

My favorite post ever. People do the whole ”Buy, buy, buy in Xmas” thing because it has been drilled into their brains by society, and it is just ”what you do in Xmas.” what a crock of sh**. Another perk of being an atheist: no pressure to celebrate the birth of any kind of imaginary deity.
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