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My fiancee and I are really looking to live as a single income family in the very near future. We've read some many accounts of how single income families are so much happier, and we believe it. We have both worked full-time the last three years (sometimes even both doing full-time school and work) and have been extremely stressed and frankly miserable. Our health has gotten poor, it's extremely difficult to keep the house presentable, and the stress levels has strained our relationship and has taken our time away for friends and other hobbies/passions we enjoy in life. We are wanting to start a family once we get married, and we want to be fully transitioned into a single income lifestyle by that time (about 5-6 months).
Still, money is very important as you need financial security to afford the basic necessities, and I worry my current salary of 40k is just not going to cut it.... We don't want to live in some shack eating ramen, we want a modest home, hot food on the table, and a comfortable and minimal home life. We both are great with our finances, have very high credit scores, and do lots of budgeting and planning, but 40k seems like so little in today's world. I net about $2200 a month after 401k and medical premiums, and our current expenses are about $2700-3300 a month and we save about $1000-$1500 a month currently on our two incomes. (She makes $32k - we are both recent graduates in entry level positions) We also are beginning to invest money for our retirement, so we want to have some extra cash for that too monthly.
I've read anecdotal stories of many families (pets and kids too) being successful living on only 35-40k per year, but I feel we live modestly now and our $72k combined income does not seem to go very far! Here's just some quick numbers off the top of my head
Rent & Utilities = $1100 (This is the low end for our area!! We rent a very outdated old home ($850/month)
Food = $500
Phone = $140 (Hoping to reduce this to $50 and get those prepaid phones)
Internet = $60
Dog Food = $55
Car Gas = $100
Total = $1855!
So just those alone leave me with only $345 left of my $2200 I net each month. I didn't even include insurance costs, repair and maintenance costs, any household expenses, and by no means any personal/entertainment expenses of any kind. Really nothing to save or invest either!! I think we can definitely cut our costs A LITTLE, but I worry the financial strain will still be too great. Would single income family living be setting us up for a disaster? How do people live off $35-40k with kids/pets/homes?
EDIT: My fiancee has mentioned she wants to start a part-time freelance business from home which has potential to bring in extra income. I also should be able to be earning $55-60k (or more) in about 3 years after I finish my masters and some certs, but 3 years is 3 years. All and all though, we hate having to both work all the time and having all this stress in our lives, so we really want to make the single income family thing a reality, especially once we have children! Any thoughts, suggestions, and advice are VERY appreciated!
We were a family of 3 who lived on less and paid $1200 a month in rent. What we did, is we sold a little on Ebay then used that money stored up in Paypal to buy things. So when we shop, it is at Goodwill knowing we are buying stuff to sell on ebay while buying stuff for ourselves. We probably do about $125 per month extra that way (stopping off at the thrift stores as we go by or making a trip once a week)
We also make our own laundry soap, hand soap, etc.. re-use bags from the store. So we have quality stuff where before, all we had were chemical based stuff. We Buy trash bags at Goodwill (halloween bags) and grow much of our own food. Insurance we skimp on since we live out in the boondocks. We only have it on my husband since I don't drive much. But if we lived where there were more cars, I'd probably buy it. Dog food you maybe could buy cheaper...such as homemade dog food from someone who hunts. It really depends upon where you live, if it is in nature and not in the city, I think you can pull it off. We eat little meat and eat cheaply, shopping mostly at a local health food store. They also give us their excess vegetables so I cut the bad parts off and use the rest to juice. You just have to be creative, much of what you have you can re-use. So no need to make $ to buy things when you can make them instead. It's perfect to be a single income family when you have a child or so because right now the earned income tax credit is pretty high. It wasn't when we did it but being home with our son was worth it. We live in California, lived on much less than you and even back then, it was much more expensive likely than your area. You can do it, life is short. Be with your kids, even if it it means taking food stamps for a few years. The other kids who are always in daycare don't fair well, are more likely to end up being on welfare, in jail, etc..kids need their parents. And they need non-frazzled parents who don't live a hectic lifestyle. When you are able, you can ensure your grandkids don't endure this also by helping out your own children.
Maybe working on time management will be a better proposition for the OP and his girlfriend. How many hours a week are you working? If you are working/commuting 40-50 hours a week and have no children, there's no reason that the house can't be clean or you can't cook meals. You need to prioritize them.
I have chronic fatigue from cancer treatment, work 50 hours a week, commute ~8 hours a week, go to the gym every day, and am in grad school part time and I still have time to cook, clean, have a social life, and have time to relax. I also sleep 8-9 hours a night. Sure, cleaning is often the last priority but that's because I live with two roommates who are slobs. Something is amiss if you are struggling to keep up a house between the two of you.
Grow in your careers (BOTH of them) and then make a decision.
I am not sure your testimony in this area is a very good one for making the case here
I hope you slow down very soon, your health is very important. All the best to you
i am sorry that happened
To the OP-A good relationship for everyone is having alot of quality time to spend with our family. This is not happening here and life is short
You will not regret at the end of your life, stopping the rat race now for the sake of your family
You chose to convert to a vegan diet. You chose to have 2 dogs. Those both take up time. If you choose to have kids, those take up a lot more time. Those are choices.
My husband and I (who have no kids, and 2 cats, which take up very little time), both work full time, and quite often over full time. Last week and this week, we've both put in overtime at work. We still manage to find 3 hours together most evenings, because we don't have dogs to take care of or 90 minutes of food prep. Plus weekends all day.
I assume you still have weekends together. Plus you can work out together and prepare meals together. That is more than my husband and I had together for the first few years of our marriage, when I was working 60 hours a week, off hours, and we saw each other awake about 5 hours, total, per week. Even now, he is gone when I wake up in the morning 5 days a week, and some days, he is asleep by the time I get home from work.
We actually could live on 1 income, but we wouldn't be able to save anything, and would never be able to retire. That is just too much stress. Money issues are just as stressful, if not more so, than time issues. So going to one income only trades one type of stress for another.
We live in a 2 income society. If you want to live on one income, without going on welfare, you will need to make some sacrifices.
If you are really serious about this, you should first try living on 1 income for a year, and save the entire other salary. If you can manage that for a year, you'll know you can do it, and have a substantial emergency fund saved up.
I would not try this if you have less than 6 months worth of expenses saved for an emergency.
A great idea. You both work and save one income for a year. You will know if it is doable and have a great emergency fund/safety net!
I would have to reconsider marrying a woman that wants you to support her on $40K while she stays home and tries to start a "cutesy" home based business. I would want a wife a bit more......how shall I say it.......industrious.
We raised two kids on this income or less. It was very difficult and stressful, but doable. Always had to tell the kids no, we can't afford this or that. Same with relatives who wanted to do expsensive things while we visited. We lived frugally but still had troubles paying the bills. Never any money for emergencies which always happened. A lot of stress on our marriage. Neither of us went to college, so my husband didn't have a good job and my low paying job wouldn't have covered daycare. Later when the kids were grown I went back to school and got a degree and good office job, though it is in non-profit and still doesn't make much money. But combining this with my husbands job we do okay now. We still live frugally and can travel some and build our savings.
Your schedule description is, sadly, simply what it means to be functioning and responsible adults in contemporary society where there aren't a whole lot of other people to fall back upon.
The dogs are a HUGE responsibility. I'm a pet nanny and although I think dogs are great, they're soooo much more work than cats. I could NEVER have dogs at this stage of life. Dog sitting means 1.5 hours of each day per dog sitting client. I bet you're spending 1.5 hours a day on your dogs too. It's an incredible commitment. Not saying you need to get rid of them, I'm just pointing out that when I'm not dog sitting I have an additional 1.5 hours a day to myself (I actually limit the dog sitting piece of my services to just 10 or less days each month because I value my time with my family and hobbies).
Otherwise, you'll need to work with cooking. Make sure your recipes make a ton so you can use them for lunches and freeze for future meals. This week I froze half a pan of lasagna and 4 fillets of teriyaki salmon (just boil some rice and add a salad). I make frozen burritos and they're not fancy or even flavorful, but they get the job done and they're healthy (I make the beans from scratch too).
You aren't kidding here. I took vacation over Thanksgiving and then was offered a dog sitting job for some friends that were going out of town for the holidays. They offered me $150 to watch their 2 dogs for 7 days. I thought they were paying me too much till about the second day. I felt horrible each day I left the dogs for the night. They just looked so sad. Keep in mind I was a paid babysitter for a week. I ultimately ended up spending almost 5 hours a day with the dogs everyday for a week. I'd spend 2-2.5 hours with them in the morning and usually 2.5-3 hours with them in the evening.
I've been a cat owner in the past and I'll likely never personally own a dog. They truly are a lot of work. When the owners came back, they felt that I likely spent more time over there than what the $150 paid for. Basically my time was worth a little over $20/day, which meant I was pretty much only earning $4/hour. Well below what it would have cost to board the dogs for a week.
I helped them out because they're really good friends of mine, but dogs truly are a lot of work. My girlfriend now has a dog and we hardly get any peace. She's INCREDIBLY needy and it seems the only time she tends to mind her business is when we're actually fooling around. If we're just snuggled on the couch, the dog whines pretty much constantly. I love the dog to pieces, but I would not want another one or to get a second one.
As things are right now, they're a packaged deal, but if she passes away and we're still together, there will be no second dog. We'll either have a cat or be purchasing a cat at that time. They're just as loving, yet tend to want to chill on their own a lot. You also don't have to play and focus on them so much. I find dogs to be like toddlers who never grow up. They tend to always be inquisitive at the least convenient moments.
I understand as dog owners that you don't want to give up your dogs, but if you're stressed now, I can only imagine how stressed you would be with a child running around. Most dog owners I see quite frankly love on their dogs too much to where they get to where they really can't be separated from their owner. My girlfriend left the other day to run an errand and the dog cried so much that she made herself throw up TWICE!! Girlfriend came back home and said that that wasn't the first time that happened. There was also nothing that I could do to calm her down. The dog just needs a lot of attention and that will never change.
I'm really surprised that working full time is so stressful on a relationship. No kids and OP is already stressed? Why? People work.
OP, if you are stressed now, do yourselves a favor and don't have kids. This is a time of plenty of free time and low stress for you and your relationship.
My guess is that this isn't you. It's your partner. She can't/doesn't want to handle real life so is stressed and is stressing you out. She doesn't mind working at home apparently. So I can only assume she is too weak to keep going with real life. Personally, I find that very unattractive. My wife and I both have grad degrees, both have high(ish) level careers (not jobs), a dog, and a kid. We live in Boston in a condo and our relatives are all 4 hrs away in NYC (so we have no help). It's stressful for sure but we're very healthy and work together to make a good life and are financially secure. If both of you made a decision to do this for some other reason than her Inability to handle things then ok, otherwise it's really weak and bothersome. Be honest with yourself and do things with eyes wide open.
I don't know if the thread is still really alive, but, OP should consider that both should work until he is making the money he thinks he'll make in a few years. Put off starting the family. You will be crushed with that income when introducing a child in the equation. You think you're stressed from both working? wait till one is home all day, one works all day & there's no money for anything. That's stress.
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