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Old 06-27-2015, 06:41 PM
 
Location: Verde Valley AZ
8,775 posts, read 11,878,841 times
Reputation: 11485

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Quote:
Originally Posted by montgomery212 View Post
I'm not necessarily the most frugal person ever, but I am frugal for my income level. I indulge in certain things, but try to keep my monthly (recurring) bills down -- so I'll keep a car but it's a regular, non luxury car; I have a smart phone but with the smallest data plan available which means by the end of the month I'm making sure I don't exceed the plan; I live in a nice apartment but not the nicest/most expensive in my area; I tend to mostly grocery shop for what's on sale in any given week.

I'm not necessarily doing these things because I have to -- I'm doing them because it makes good sense and because I think it's smart to save whenever you can.

My extended family however is pretty showy -- McMansions as soon as they get their first professional job; luxury cars; won't wear a shirt unless it has an obvious brand visible (so they won't wear Banana Republic bc there's no logo but will wear Polo everything); will point out what brand of watch or purse they're wearing. I'm just not like this, and I feel like they think it's bc I can't afford this stuff (I can) and they take a "she's a big city lawyer, I guess they don't do as well as I thought" tone sometimes and justify how their jobs/lifestyle are so much more "successful" than mine.

I don't believe in wasting money or in showing your money to people. But part of me wants to scream -- I can afford the same stuff, it's no big deal AND you live in Dallas/North Carolina/Georgia and have a McMansion, that's great but I live in NYC and DC which is a bit different cost of living. But then I don't want to justify myself and my worth either bc it isn't their business. Ever feel this way?
The majority of people I know are just as frugal as I am but they have no idea how much money I have, etc.. It's not something that's discussed. My family was shocked when I was able to buy a house this spring because, far as they are concerned, I'm as 'poor' as they are. Well, actually, I probably am in some ways BUT I learned a long time ago how to say "NO" to spending on wants. It took me six years of working my butt off to save up a down payment on my house, and all the associated costs, but I did well and even have quite a bit of savings left. If anything I think the people who know me actually envy me being able to do that. What they don't "envy" is the hard work it took to get here and they really don't want to put in the effort. Their loss.
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Old 06-27-2015, 10:07 PM
 
12,547 posts, read 9,886,683 times
Reputation: 6927
There are people out here suffering and dying with all kinds of ailments and diseases....got no time to worry about others looking down on me. Heck, it's probably better that they DO look down on me - it lets me know they're superficial so I can keep my distance.
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Old 06-27-2015, 11:40 PM
 
Location: Living rent free in your head
42,783 posts, read 26,085,747 times
Reputation: 33927
I don't think anyone looks down on me for being frugal, occasionally I am kidded about it, but even my husband teases me about it, so that doesn't bother me. I have a lot of friends and family who ask me if I know where they can get a 'deal' on whatever it is they are thinking of buying
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Old 06-28-2015, 12:27 AM
 
Location: Beavercreek, OH
2,194 posts, read 3,839,178 times
Reputation: 2353
Quote:
Originally Posted by montgomery212 View Post
I'm not necessarily the most frugal person ever, but I am frugal for my income level. I indulge in certain things, but try to keep my monthly (recurring) bills down -- so I'll keep a car but it's a regular, non luxury car; I have a smart phone but with the smallest data plan available which means by the end of the month I'm making sure I don't exceed the plan; I live in a nice apartment but not the nicest/most expensive in my area; I tend to mostly grocery shop for what's on sale in any given week.

I'm not necessarily doing these things because I have to -- I'm doing them because it makes good sense and because I think it's smart to save whenever you can.

My extended family however is pretty showy -- McMansions as soon as they get their first professional job; luxury cars; won't wear a shirt unless it has an obvious brand visible (so they won't wear Banana Republic bc there's no logo but will wear Polo everything); will point out what brand of watch or purse they're wearing. I'm just not like this, and I feel like they think it's bc I can't afford this stuff (I can) and they take a "she's a big city lawyer, I guess they don't do as well as I thought" tone sometimes and justify how their jobs/lifestyle are so much more "successful" than mine.

I don't believe in wasting money or in showing your money to people. But part of me wants to scream -- I can afford the same stuff, it's no big deal AND you live in Dallas/North Carolina/Georgia and have a McMansion, that's great but I live in NYC and DC which is a bit different cost of living. But then I don't want to justify myself and my worth either bc it isn't their business. Ever feel this way?
I keep cars that I have paid cash for. I've gotten really good at haggling and getting deals... I've bought cars so low before that I've sold them for a profit a week later. That has more recently included luxury cars, surprisingly.

I have a smart phone with a 3GB data plan. I average about 2 a month... there's this magical thing called wifi, and it works great when you're at home... why pay for mobile data when you're already paying for internet?

Let the rest of the family go. The only person I know who's worth eight figures wears clothing he found at Kohl's. His Benz or his Jag might give him away, but that's because he's old and retired and doesn't care anymore. I have zero doubt that it's in large part due to a life of responsible living along the way.
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Old 06-28-2015, 11:02 AM
 
Location: North Idaho
32,565 posts, read 47,729,085 times
Reputation: 78077
I don't think I've ever had anyone look down on me. I've had coworkers be jealous because I could buy a house and they couldn't.

Oh wait. I had a real estate salesman at a new housing tract tell me in a snotty voice that the houses were too expensive for me. No skin off my nose. I wasn't buying, anyway, I was just looking-- but could have paid cash for the house if I'd decided that I wanted to buy it. It's like some minimum wage clerk in an upscale clothing store getting snotty with the customers. Just ridiculous behavior.
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Old 06-28-2015, 04:30 PM
 
Location: Mars
231 posts, read 201,207 times
Reputation: 248
I think people who aren't frugal and who waste their money should be looked down upon. IMO.
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Old 06-28-2015, 07:15 PM
 
Location: Warwick, RI
5,450 posts, read 6,240,814 times
Reputation: 9369
Nope, don't give a rats ass what others think. ESPECIALLY the spendy, showy types. They're the ones living a fantasy, and sooner or later it always comes back to bite them.
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Old 06-28-2015, 07:48 PM
 
Location: Portal to the Pacific
8,736 posts, read 8,641,742 times
Reputation: 13007
Quote:
Originally Posted by treasurekidd View Post
Nope, don't give a rats ass what others think. ESPECIALLY the spendy, showy types. They're the ones living a fantasy, and sooner or later it always comes back to bite them.
Nope. Not always. My grandmother passed away a few years ago and she was indulgent to the end.
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Old 07-02-2015, 07:12 PM
 
Location: Pickerington, Ohio
483 posts, read 464,737 times
Reputation: 460
I get ribbing from my friends for being fairly frugal and driving non-flashy cars, but these same friends are constantly one emergency away from financial disaster while at the same time they accessorize their cars constantly, drink expensive alcohol and in general live above their means in almost every way I can think of.
I don't splurge as much as I could, but I like my situation at 37. I am unloading the house I have owned in Texas since 2008 on Monday, and after that will have no debt outside monthly bills. I could probably live in more than a one-bedroom apartment, but I choose not to. It's such a free feeling to know I am in a situation in which inconveniences are inconveniences, not disasters.
Living above my means is too precarious a game for my liking.
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Old 07-04-2015, 12:25 AM
 
206 posts, read 237,639 times
Reputation: 135
You have to compare apples with apples, oranges grow differently.

The wealthy of my community are increasingly using the middle class and poorer connections they made. Many sexual relationships or low-paid poor person was burdened by a wealthy person just meeting his needs ... Only way to freedom is avoid most of them... The causes/luxuries/large churches are all populated with wealthy just meeting their needs. At the least, you will end up slaving away for the cause and suffer a great deal of harassment by the thankless directors when you do have to give up the obligation for your own health reasons...

Business networking groups can be excellent place to connect. Eventually you also get to meet the dominants and worse stuff afoot, then decide handling for best safety results. If mistreated by anyone, you also get to also know who to avoid.

Attorneys, psychiatrists, social workers, police officers can pick who they want to use if you come into contact with any of them.

In my area, some who try the churches are ruined after trying a church full of strangers and being rejected for whatever reason, then harassed in the community even if just in the course of work.

I don't mind being looked down upon. Privacy keeps up the right appearance at work. However, we all must assertively deal with the spending demands of socializing in our workplace.
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