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If you have $60k a year coming in, and all you have for expenses are utilities, rent and food, you should ALREADY have a lot of money being thrown at debt. If not, you are living in an area with a cost of living ratio too high for the income you have. In that case, you need more income, or you need to move to a less expensive city.
At $60k a year, let's say you bring home $4k a month after taxes.
My mortgage is $750/month, but I don't have 2 kids, and I live in a cheap area, so let's say $1500/month is reasonable for your income level.
Utilities, say $400 total for everything
And food, for 4 people, but with time to cook at home and cut coupons, say $400 max.
That is $2300. Are your minimum payments so much that you are using all the rest of the $1700/month on just that? If so, you should qualify for a hardship adjustment on those minimums.
If you don't have that much to put toward the debt each month, you are either spending money on things you aren't thinking about, or your expenses are too high for your income.
While exploring every possibility on that front, I would also try to negotiate on the debt itself. Write letters to the lenders explaining the situation, include copies of your divorce documents, etc. You can't usually get rid of student loans in a bankruptcy, but they do sometimes agree to write them off if you take a different approach. I think spousal abuse could qualify, since the loans were for your abusive ex. Even if you could get just some of them removed, it would help. If only a few are student loans and the rest are not, then bankruptcy might be a viable option, although I would have looked at doing that about 5 minutes after the divorce was final, in that case.
At any rate, the answer to your original question is no, you should not be using the food bank to pay down your debt. There are many better things to try instead.
I've learned not to come on here and ask if anything is "wrong" as the definition of "wrong" is very subjective.
If you ask here hoping that we'll all tell you it's okay then obviously there is something internally telling you that it might not be. That doesn't mean that you shouldn't do it, especially if it will help, but it means you might have to counteract the "taking" with some "giving".. For example, as soon as you are done using something give it away freely in your BN group. If you have extra time to help, help someone.. either at the food bank or elsewhere.
Also make sure you are maximizing potential for receiving and earning. I started several BN groups in my area and although I'm not longer an admin for the project I started a free exchange group for my neighborhood and still host an exchange site under my condo for both the BNP and the neighborhood exchange group to use.. of course, I did primarily because *I* benefit from it, but it's also enjoyed by a lot of people in the neighborhood and beyond. Maybe you can step up your participation and create and exchange site.. at one point we even had a cooler for people to share their refrigerated food (now we just do boxed and canned food).
Also don't be shy about asking your group for their leftovers. Offer to bring over your tupperware and have a scheduled pick up time once a week to make the "rounds". You might not even need a food bank, you might just need to let your group know of your situation and ask them for their leftovers... that's what I would do before I used a food bank.
Does your special needs child get some sort of disability check? (I dont know what they call it for minors). I assume you received medicaid for that child?
I was unemployed for a year and never eligible for anything "free" so this post irks me. Working my whole life and paying taxes are the foolish I learned. I also think I will not donate to anymore foodbanks that give it to anyone who shows up. Plenty of groups with actual needy people around here so an easy switch.
There are some reduced food boxes you can purchase. They used to have Angel Food Ministries where like $30 bought a box of food that lasts a week. Now some local churches or organizations do it. You can save that way and share the cost.
We can afford to buy our family food and make minimum monthly payments on our debt. However, we would love to get out of debt. Over $200,000+ of student loans and debt my ex husband racked up and got stuck in my name. It won't be paid off for 25 years unless we do something drastic.
So... I was thinking about trying to buy nothing, quite literally. We've figured out a way to reduce our living expenses to almost nothing except utilities, rent, and food. We get every "thing" we need for free from a local group sort of like freecycle where neighbors share things with neighbors (buynothingproject.org). Now I've been looking at how to reduce our expenses even more, and I think food is next.
I would like to start using the local food bank to help offset the cost of food so that we can pay off our debt sooner. My husband makes $60,000/yr and we are a family of 4, so we sit comfortably above the barely scrapping by poverty line. But.. we stand to be in debt forever unless we start paying off these loans in huge amounts.
I just pause a bit, and wonder if it's right. Or if the food should go to people who truly have no other option. We have an option --- minimum debt payments and the grocery store.
Please no lectures about the amount of debt. I know, I know, I was young, dumb, and stupid. Now I'm not.
Its work-at-home-Moms, and has a lot of listings for part-time, at home jobs. Even though it says Moms, about 30%+ are men. Most of the jobs are legit, you have to be on your guard for the scams, as everywhere. I found a WAH job there, I make about $500--$600/month. Admittedly, that's not a lot, but it could help to reduce your debt. at least somewhat.
When I hear stories like yours, I have second thoughts about encouraging my kids to pursue college. I'm trying to encourage them to finish HS, go to community college, get a skill, work experience, then perhaps pursue a bachelor's if the employer will pick up the tab.
I can't see my kids knocking themselves out for a lifetime of poverty, struggling to repay a debt that bought them----a debt Although I'm proud of my education and that I'm a college graduate,there has to be something more than personal pride from an education. Come on, this isn't a game that one should be looking at food banks to re-pay!
For OP, I would say go for it---the food banks. Those who "truly have no options" actually have mor options than you do, such as food stamps, welfare, etc.
Also, I hate to suggest this, but---have you considered dumpster diving? Do a google, its amazing what stores throw away that's past its expiration date but still quite edible. Much is still in packaging, and cold from the freezers. Also, canned goods, etc. To think you spent your education to be in such a situation1
I'm glad that you checked. And I'm glad that in some places, food banks can afford to give food away to whomever comes. Here, it's not like that.
Same, here. We are affiliated with a few nonprofits that house, among other services, emergency pantries (the city's main pantry and the largest of the church operated pantries are closed on the weekend, when many homeless and working poor with small children need things like baby food, etc. and having to go a couple of days without is pretty dire, so we try to fill that gap). "Underutilized" does not describe these facilities.
It's definitely exploitative or people not in emergency situations to use them for what amounts to convenience and non-crisis situations. Paying down your debt is a noble thing, but it doesn't automatically constitute a food emergency or crisis, and as such, would be a misuse of resources that are intended for such contexts, not just to supplement people's budgets while the devote their assets to paying off debt.
Would my nonprofits turn you away? No. Wouldn't even know your situation. But you'd be exploiting resources and taking them from people in far greater need, nonetheless.
It sounds like you've done a good job of paring down your expenses. Now you need to create more income. I have no idea what that might be, but there are a lot of people working two jobs, and once upon a time kids would get small neighborhood jobs to help out, too.
Did your ex surprise you with that $200k debt before or after you had 2 kids?
Come now, I get you're resentful of what you perceive as possible abuse of a system for the desperate.
But if there is domestic abuse involved, we don't know what the situation is and the kind of threats made. People do terrible things to themselves under duress.
I think OP does indeed feel a moral conflict within, hence she took the time to ask and gauge opinions. A person who looks to abuse the system will simply lie and get what they want (or think they're entitled to).
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Although I'm proud of my education and that I'm a college graduate,there has to be something more than personal pride from an education. Come on, this isn't a game that one should be looking at food banks to re-pay!
