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I really hope you will forgo using the food bank when you can afford to buy groceries. There are people who really need the food bank and can't feed their families without it. I know the food banks in my area are always in need and don't seem to have a surplus of goods.
The OP said earlier that the 200k wasn't used for school or it didn't result in the obtaining of any degree.
Well, she borrowed a lot of money over several years for her "education". If she didn't use any of it for her education, then she defrauded the bank(s). If she didn't get a degree, she should still have had enough college credits to qualify for having "some college", which is, as I said better than just having a HS degree.
If you're $200k in debt, why aren't you working? Instead of scheming to "save" a few dollars to pay towards your debt, you should look into getting a decent paying job that would enable you to pay off significantly more of it faster.[LIST][*]Food allergies can be dealt with in a reliable day care or preschool. They are going to be dealt with when your child goes to school, and it doesn't hurt to get said child started early on the idea that he/she can't eat certain things.[*]A poster early in this thread suggested you start an in-home day care. Why can't you do that? Millions of other women have done that for years.[*]Somebody else suggested the WAHM website. Did you look into it?[*]Why can't you use your degree or at least some of what you learned to make some money for your family? Having some college is better than having none, and to rack up $200k in student loan debt should have taken you 5 or 6 years at least.[/LIST]FTR -- day care providers and preschool teachers are at least as conscientious as a nanny.
The longer you are out of the job market (even with skills and a degree.. I'm not sure the OP has either), the harder it is to land a job that will cover the cost of childcare for 2 kids. I went through this song and dance, the "I want a job, but it's cheaper to stay home" song all the years I had 2 kids at home. Incidentally, I did try some part-time employment when the 2nd started part-time kindergarten.. I was a home health care aide.. but because of scheduling needs I frequently had to put 1 or both into care for a few hours at a time... silly thing is, when I included time to get to, or between, clients, I was actually LOSING money on the arrangement after I paid the childcare bill. So I quit.
What I eventually did was look around at the immediate needs of my neighbors and realized they needed domestic help so I decided I had the choice of cleaning homes or walking dogs while the kids are in school. I decided to be a pet sitter. I used to make $12 an hour as a caregiver and now I make $24-26 an hour walking dogs or cleaning cat boxes. I set my own hours and I very rarely accept clients that I can't reach on foot (the elementary school is in the very middle of our community). It's an awesome job that I truly, absolutely love and it's helping us get ahead. I don't need childcare (in the summer I did leave them for an hour or two, but they're 9 and 12 now and I was always a few blocks from home... I strategically let them have "screen time" at that time ). I live in a magical, utopic, affluent urban village and I'm not sure I could get away with this awesomeness in a standard suburban community though.
I think people need to lay off. She's trying, very, very hard to pull herself up by the bootstraps by whatever means available to her. That takes creativity and grit. In 15 years everyone will applaud her for what she did.
Nine years ago we were judged a lot for our decisions too. I was pregnant with our 2nd baby, unemployed with a college degree, but no developed skills or viable employment history. My husband just quit his $26,000 graduate student job for another $26,000 graduate student job in a more expensive city. I briefly got on WIC and we lived in subsidized housing. We did all we could to avoid student loans, but it was hard! We toughed it out and I did my own thing (which I think I already talked about earlier) and now, well, we're doing quite well all things considered. Our combined income is in the top 6%. I will be mortgage-free before I'm 38... but I think back to where we were 10 years ago and how we were judged... I'd like to find all those people who said we were being irresponsible and pointing fingers at us all the time and saying "you're doing it all wrong!". Really, oh how I would love to shove last year's tax return in their face.. you see THAT!
OP, ignore people. Use your intuition and keep being open to creative solutions while maintaining your thrifty conservative efforts at home.
My degrees were mostly paid for with scholarships and grants. But, Sallie Mae would just send me the check in the mail. All I had to do was be enrolled part time and apply for up to $40,000/yr. My school never seemed to know, or at least consult me about it.
At the very least, I do have my education. But as for a work history, I started my career in 2007 and lost my job every year for four years due to budget cuts along with many of my coworkers. Then I had two kids, and stayed home. Throwing in the cost of working with gas, child care, etc with my projected income just isn't worth it.
I'm looking into daycare or tutoring to generate some income.
My degrees were mostly paid for with scholarships and grants. But, Sallie Mae would just send me the check in the mail. All I had to do was be enrolled part time and apply for up to $40,000/yr. My school never seemed to know, or at least consult me about it.
At the very least, I do have my education. But as for a work history, I started my career in 2007 and lost my job every year for four years due to budget cuts along with many of my coworkers. Then I had two kids, and stayed home. Throwing in the cost of working with gas, child care, etc with my projected income just isn't worth it.
I'm looking into daycare or tutoring to generate some income.
You were an adult and responsible for your financial decisions.
Your neighbors are going to get tired of you mooching off of them for food. I wouldnt count on that for a source of food. People get tired of moochers pretty quickly.
Your neighbors are going to get tired of you mooching off of them for food. I wouldnt count on that for a source of food. People get tired of moochers pretty quickly.
Before you make a generalized blanket statement please learn about how the Buy Nothing Project works. There are some groups around me that have over $2k members, of various means and lifestyles. If the OP is willing to drive to and arrange her schedule around others, there is a very likely chance that there will always be someone happy to give her and her family any leftover food that they couldn't finish, or didn't want to finish. I know lots of people who hate to waste food, but will given the choice, will throw it away instead of finishing it themselves... well, now the OP is giving those individuals a convenient 3rd option... and really think about that word "convenient", because that's what makes or brakes this kind of arrangement. I know this tendency as a former regional admin and because I still participate heavily today.
As long as she is honest and transparent and as long as she gifts her Buy Nothing community in whatever way she can, she'll be gifted in return. That's how the informal economy works: it's also known as reputation economics and there are books written (Sacred Economics) about the very concept.
Like I said many, many pages ago, there always needs to be a balance of gifting and receiving, but the issue many people here have is that they assume that this balance needs to always be an exact and consistent transfer. Our current economic model is based on this exactness and consistency. Informal economies aren't always as efficient or effective, but they are at least more flexible and lenient. She might be a bigger receiver today, or this week or within this particular group... but that doesn't mean she'll always remain so.
I think that's what I was illustrating with my own story: I used to be that receiver. I used to be the one looking for handouts, but even then, I was able to give in my own way: I cleared the space that encouraged and enabled others to also find what they need freely (I prepared a donation corner in the community center) I also taught free preschool art and music workshops (because I was a poor mom with a toddler that wanted enrichment options just like better-off parents... so the community center reimbursed me for supplies as long as I committed to preparing and instructing the weekly workshops on my own... see, I was gifting my time and in return lots of poor children had a first-rate experience).
Try to be a little more objectively considerate here. Read about reputation economics.
Before you make a generalized blanket statement please learn about how the Buy Nothing Project works. There are some groups around me that have over $2k members, of various means and lifestyles. If the OP is willing to drive to and arrange her schedule around others, there is a very likely chance that there will always be someone happy to give her and her family any leftover food that they couldn't finish, or didn't want to finish. I know lots of people who hate to waste food, but will given the choice, will throw it away instead of finishing it themselves... well, now the OP is giving those individuals a convenient 3rd option... and really think about that word "convenient", because that's what makes or brakes this kind of arrangement. I know this tendency as a former regional admin and because I still participate heavily today.
As long as she is honest and transparent and as long as she gifts her Buy Nothing community in whatever way she can, she'll be gifted in return. That's how the informal economy works: it's also known as reputation economics and there are books written (Sacred Economics) about the very concept.
Like I said many, many pages ago, there always needs to be a balance of gifting and receiving, but the issue many people here have is that they assume that this balance needs to always be an exact and consistent transfer. Our current economic model is based on this exactness and consistency. Informal economies aren't always as efficient or effective, but they are at least more flexible and lenient. She might be a bigger receiver today, or this week or within this particular group... but that doesn't mean she'll always remain so.
I think that's what I was illustrating with my own story: I used to be that receiver. I used to be the one looking for handouts, but even then, I was able to give in my own way: I cleared the space that encouraged and enabled others to also find what they need freely (I prepared a donation corner in the community center) I also taught free preschool art and music workshops (because I was a poor mom with a toddler that wanted enrichment options just like better-off parents... so the community center reimbursed me for supplies as long as I committed to preparing and instructing the weekly workshops on my own... see, I was gifting my time and in return lots of poor children had a first-rate experience).
Try to be a little more objectively considerate here. Read about reputation economics.
Never looked into anything like this myself, but I see nothing wrong with it as long as all the participants are voluntary, no ones put on the spot and you can opt out at any time.
As long as she is honest and transparent and as long as she gifts her Buy Nothing community in whatever way she can, she'll be gifted in return. That's how the informal economy works: it's also known as reputation economics and there are books written (Sacred Economics) about the very concept.
That is so so true.... I've learned first hand. My journey to minimalism and giving away everything we don't use turned into a total upgrade of our lifestyle because we were given so much more in return that we actually need and use. And I didn't pay a dime for any of it, just gave everything away. It comes back around, not directly, but it most certainly does. I see that even more now.
You were an adult and responsible for your financial decisions.
And for quite a few years, I ignored my debt and the collection calls. I didn't own up to my responsibility. Now I'm trying, I really am, to pay it off by any means necessary in the shortest possible amount of time. I'm not asking for a bailout, just a helping hand.
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). I live in a magical, utopic, affluent urban village and I'm not sure I could get away with this awesomeness in a standard suburban community though. 
