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Always someone to pull up every thread ever started by the OP and assume all the circumstances are the same. No, I don't spend anymore money on weed, but yes, I still smoke it. And yes, special needs are allergies, requiring a very specialized diet that frankly cost a lot of money.
I didn't tell the judge about the abuse, and I used a paralegal so no lawyer either. I could have had him thrown in jail for years. But I didn't. Statute of limitations has passed. Everything is done. Yes, I did bankrupt on huge amounts of car debt. But no, my student loans wouldn't bankrupt. So here I find my financial life ruined, and want it fixed as quickly as possible.
But this thread gave me a better idea to get my food expenses down. I'm just going to ask my neighbors for their leftover food. Win-win.
You smoke weed? LOL
Well, if you stopped, maybe your food bill would go down.
Yeah, he quite literally would beat the crap out of me and threaten me with worse unless I took out private student loans and give him the money. I was stupid to stay for 4 years, but smart to leave. I've come to terms with the fact that the debt is mine and my responsibility to pay it off. And just trying to do so without burdening my new family with 25 years of debt. But please, let's not make *this* the issue. I really want to stick to the question at hand... is it WRONG for me to use the food bank??
Unless you have no other means........and I mean no food in the house and no money to buy any, YES - it is wrong.
I would worry I was taking from someone who had nothing.
OMG, just when I thought there was hope for you ... Maybe this thread should be moved to the psychology forum.
LOL. And she'd have more discretionary money to pay her bills, too.
Win-win.
Yes, I'm a certified whacko, but my weed is free.
Shall I dumpster dive instead? My neighbors do probably throw away a lot of leftovers they wouldn't mind sharing. I'm determined to bring our expenses down as much as possible, extreme cheapskate style. But I see... now... the food bank isn't the way to do that. I have other avenues.... other options... just need to be creative.
Food banks are underutilized. One food bank I know about had a sign asking people to recruit new recipients and encourage eligible people to sigh up, they said there were too few people using the benefit, and it would be discontinues if they did not increase their distribution. So there may actually be more available food than the eligible public is able to take.
I wonder why you didn't offer Dumpster Diving... If I remember correct, you should be a great source on how and where, and how to live frugal. I think you master is quite well.
OP has income of $60K. That is not a small change. Lots of people live on much less - and they make it, without feeling entitled to go to the Food Bank or get other freebies from people who are in REAL need.
She needs to consider to move out of that expensive area where she lives now, get a smaller and cheaper place, cut on expenses (yes, there is always way to cut on it more), get a job, or second job (and that means - stop smoking weed!), try to communicate with lenders and see if the debt could be consolidated, reduced, or bankruptcy filed. Stay on a very strict budget, and try her very best to pay it off as much as she can. No matter how long it will take.
Was that $200K really spent on education, or maybe on frivolous things or weed? Did OP contributed to that debt, and if yes, how much is her share?
Can OP use a food bank? She has to go to one to find out.
Too many inconsistencies here - bankruptcy, smoking weed, special needs seem to be allergies, ...
OP applied for the loans, cashed the checks and spent the money. Predatory lending? She then bankrupted on some of the larger purchases. The judge presiding over the divorce did not consider the abuse und use of funds by the spouse into consideration?
Simple solution. If you are morally conflicted, find out what time the food bank closes. Go at the end of the day and be the last in line. If they still have any food, not needed by anybody else, then it might as well be used to ease the not inconsiderable burden of debt in your family. Rather than being discarded, or spoiling, or shipped at some public expense back to the warehouse.
It's predatory bc you were expected to act like an adult? What?
Stan4, several years back, I took a nasty fall and was homebound, and practically bedridden. I was amazed and disheartened at the ads for "school loans", that went straight to the borrower, and the ads were specifically stating this money was for living expenses. I can't go to school -- I don't have a car. Get a student loan from us and get a car. I can't go to school and pay rent.... get a student loan from us and pay your rent.... it was totally irresponsible on the lenders, but they have nothing to lose.... anything called student loans aren't dischargeable in bankruptcy.
Now -- back in the early Dark ages when I went to school, I got loans from the Fed and I never saw the check. That check went to the Bursars office, and paid for my terms tuition and room and board. And the next terms, too.... that's how it was done. I didn't get the chance to misuse it. There was probably some sort of way to use it for books and supplies, but I worked while in school -- I bought my own books.
And education for money got real big and they had huge ad budgets... Corinthian Colleges and others -- they were nothing but money making schemes. You could go to Corinthian College and get a worthless degree in say Paralegal for 40K, which they financed for you at a big interest rate, but you could go to the local community college and get a paralegal degree that has merit for 15K..... they preyed on people who didn't know this.
So -- in this case OP had to take out these loans by the husband, and she did it to keep peace. Frankly, I didn't walk in her shoes, but I've known women who were abused, so I don't doubt her story.
Shall I dumpster dive instead? My neighbors do probably throw away a lot of leftovers they wouldn't mind sharing. I'm determined to bring our expenses down as much as possible, extreme cheapskate style. But I see... now... the food bank isn't the way to do that. I have other avenues.... other options... just need to be creative.
Honestly? Black belt frugal. Every expense is on the table as a cut. Read Tightwad Gazette, get it from the library. I read and reread those books over and over.... find more income streams. Selling on ebay, making stuff to sell on etsy....
This is a lifestyle shift. We did it years ago -- love being true to ourselves.
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