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I'm not necessarily the most frugal person ever, but I am frugal for my income level. I indulge in certain things, but try to keep my monthly (recurring) bills down -- so I'll keep a car but it's a regular, non luxury car; I have a smart phone but with the smallest data plan available which means by the end of the month I'm making sure I don't exceed the plan; I live in a nice apartment but not the nicest/most expensive in my area; I tend to mostly grocery shop for what's on sale in any given week.
I'm not necessarily doing these things because I have to -- I'm doing them because it makes good sense and because I think it's smart to save whenever you can.
My extended family however is pretty showy -- McMansions as soon as they get their first professional job; luxury cars; won't wear a shirt unless it has an obvious brand visible (so they won't wear Banana Republic bc there's no logo but will wear Polo everything); will point out what brand of watch or purse they're wearing. I'm just not like this, and I feel like they think it's bc I can't afford this stuff (I can) and they take a "she's a big city lawyer, I guess they don't do as well as I thought" tone sometimes and justify how their jobs/lifestyle are so much more "successful" than mine.
I don't believe in wasting money or in showing your money to people. But part of me wants to scream -- I can afford the same stuff, it's no big deal AND you live in Dallas/North Carolina/Georgia and have a McMansion, that's great but I live in NYC and DC which is a bit different cost of living. But then I don't want to justify myself and my worth either bc it isn't their business. Ever feel this way?
Let them think what they want. From the sounds of it, they may find themselves in money trouble in the future, so it's to your benefit that they think you have no money so they won't bother to ask you for a bailout.
I mean obviously it doesn't irritate or upset me enough to change my ways, but at times it does irritate me. I don't care about their stuff vs. my stuff. But I care because I went into a high paying profession (relatively -- by no means is it the highest paid or anything) with long hours; they went into 9-5 professions that are more medium paying but only 40 hrs a week. That's totally their choice, but I'm into my work (and frankly I spent less when I'm working a lot bc who has the time), and they take an attitude like -- oh well I guess you're not THAT highly paid being that you work 60 hrs a week and come home to an apartment in NYC/DC, I barely have to work 35 hrs and just bought my 2nd McMansion (in North Carolina or Texas).
I mean what is one supposed to do -- flip open their investment accounts to "prove" they're doing just as well but don't spend it the same way (I would NEVER -- I'm just saying, it's frustrating).
If anyone ever looked down on my I haven't noticed. I've actually had some people thank me for helping them save money by steering them to a business or website where they can get buy something cheaper than they originally planned.
omg, my ex husband does. he works at it. He was pretty bitter that I didn't share his aspirations to join the country club and live in a McMansion. I didn't find those things fulfilling. I don't enjoy the excess home maintenance/cleaning that a large home required, and I felt that what I saw of the country club set was kind of surface level and did not lend itself towards lasting friendships. So now he feels a need to put down my lifestyle.
I was always frugal...we did not start out with much and I was pretty obsessed with finding the best bargains. He hated that. and he fought against it. Never once did he say "Hey, I appreciate your efforts, but you don't have to put so much effort into this, because we really can afford to spend x on what we need."
Now I only work part time because my kids have anxiety issues and need my support...he disses that also, even as he travels a lot for work and is not available for them. it's been a tight couple of years, and will be tight a little longer, but ultimately I'm happy with my modest home (and looking forward to downsizing). I'll be traveling the world and enjoying my life when he is still working 60 hours per week to keep his new wife and her kids in that mcMansion. (btw, he belongs to a country club, but rarely visits and certainly has made no friends there)
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