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Old 01-27-2017, 01:51 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tassity22 View Post
Sometimes I mention that I can't afford something right now, but that doesn't mean I'm complaining. So I don't feel it should open me up to unsolicited comments from other people.
I meant chronically complaining about not being able to pay bills when a person spends on things they don't need.
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Old 01-27-2017, 01:57 PM
 
Location: Greater LA area
15,747 posts, read 11,767,628 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tassity22 View Post
I am a member of a non consumer/frugal living group elsewhere on social media, and it frequently comes up in discussions that people will talk about how their friends waste money buying stuff they don't need, or spending money eating out or going to movies. I wanted to learn tips for saving money, but I am seeing all these judgments of other people and what they spend. I just noticed recently that someone posted a "complaint" on that site about how someone she knows spent $75 on an outfit to wear to a party. It was posted in the tone of "how dare this person spend this kind of money on clothing". Although it may seem like someone wastes money in one area of their life, they may save a lot in another area. Although I like to dine out occasionally, I went to only three movies last year, and two of those were at the Dollar Theater. So that is an area where I save.
What do you expect from a frugal social group? Of course they look down on people spending anything other than the bare essentials


Better don't tell them you dine out!
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Old 01-27-2017, 02:24 PM
 
1,347 posts, read 1,005,296 times
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I clip coupons, no car payments, pack my lunch for work, shop the clearance racks etc. but I spend a lot of money on books and my husband collects expensive knives. We also go on nice vacations and we don't skimp on heat or a/c. It's all about balance to me save here so I can spend there. It's absolutely none of my business what people spend their money on as long as they aren't asking me to subsidize them.
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Old 01-27-2017, 07:15 PM
Status: "I am in preparation mode!" (set 9 days ago)
 
5,515 posts, read 5,505,813 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tassity22 View Post
I am a member of a non consumer/frugal living group elsewhere on social media, and it frequently comes up in discussions that people will talk about how their friends waste money buying stuff they don't need, or spending money eating out or going to movies. I wanted to learn tips for saving money, but I am seeing all these judgments of other people and what they spend. I just noticed recently that someone posted a "complaint" on that site about how someone she knows spent $75 on an outfit to wear to a party. It was posted in the tone of "how dare this person spend this kind of money on clothing". Although it may seem like someone wastes money in one area of their life, they may save a lot in another area. Although I like to dine out occasionally, I went to only three movies last year, and two of those were at the Dollar Theater. So that is an area where I save.
I agree. Some people are so fanatical about saving money that they do not enjoy life. I believe in balance. I have discovered that I spend way too much on eating out. I am working on figuring out ways to reduce the amount of money I spend on food. I have cut down quite a bit and I am still trying to get it down. I think I may have been spending $500 per month for food. That is outrageous. I set a budget for $400 but I am trying to get it down to $300. It looks like I may be able to get it down between $200-$250. I plan to use the extra money to buy things for me. I guess your group would not like me very much.
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Old 01-27-2017, 07:48 PM
 
1,310 posts, read 836,626 times
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I have never liked for people to tell me what I should do with my money, and I never tell folks what to do with their money.

Simple as that!
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Old 01-28-2017, 04:13 PM
 
Location: Forests of Maine
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We are pretty liberal in spending on items that will be tax-deductions. Otherwise we are pretty conservative.
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Old 01-28-2017, 04:27 PM
 
848 posts, read 446,177 times
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I have no problem with people poor-mouthing unless they are trying to sponge off of me or others.

My cousin is a PhD former college professor married to a doctor, two children. She is the greediest/cheapest/spongiest person I have ever known and will take advantage whenever she can. Her husband took advantage of a "work in this rural state for some time and we will pay your student loans" offer. They lived in Missouri until it was exactly 3 years to the day then they moved to a more popular state after the loans were paid off.She posts on Facebook things she finds at Goodwill that she flips on Craigslist for cash. Her husband (who makes at least $250k a year) is not allowed to get coffee at Starbucks unless they get some discounted or free gift card. She constantly is asking for things on Facebook, if anyone is able to fix something for them, etc. I know they have millions in the bank yet she is such a miser that you'd never know it. She brags that her kids have been trained to ask for only one item for Christmas "anything else is wasteful" and then she'll turn around and condemn others for their spending. So yes, there are those who constantly judge but often they are the ones with a problem.
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Old 01-28-2017, 04:34 PM
 
24,750 posts, read 26,817,884 times
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I think frugal people can get judge-y. It's partly a natural human reaction. Sometimes it's magnified by the fact that frugality is frowned upon and sometimes openly mocked in society today, so the judge-y reactions on the part of frugal folks comes out of frustration. Many of these free spending folks aren't going to have money for their old age and they will be expecting the frugal folks to pay for them and will be voting for politicians to reach into the frugal folks' pocketbooks to make up the difference.
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Old 01-28-2017, 04:36 PM
 
4,220 posts, read 4,441,686 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tassity22 View Post
Sometimes I mention that I can't afford something right now, but that doesn't mean I'm complaining. So I don't feel it should open me up to unsolicited comments from other people.


That is different than the woman I work with. She whines. Ugh!
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Old 01-28-2017, 05:05 PM
 
Location: Old Hippie Heaven
16,255 posts, read 7,121,402 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tassity22 View Post
I am a member of a non consumer/frugal living group elsewhere on social media, and it frequently comes up in discussions that people will talk about how their friends waste money buying stuff they don't need, or spending money eating out or going to movies. I wanted to learn tips for saving money, but I am seeing all these judgments of other people and what they spend. I just noticed recently that someone posted a "complaint" on that site about how someone she knows spent $75 on an outfit to wear to a party. It was posted in the tone of "how dare this person spend this kind of money on clothing". Although it may seem like someone wastes money in one area of their life, they may save a lot in another area. Although I like to dine out occasionally, I went to only three movies last year, and two of those were at the Dollar Theater. So that is an area where I save.
The best book I've ever read on frugality is Your Money Or Your Life.

This is not Auntie Edna's 1001 Cheap Tricks. YMOYL is a book about thinking things through and making your own decisions about money within a coherent framework.

That $75 outfit might be a good decision or it might not be. You can't tell by the dollar amount. The only way to tell would be to talk to the person, and find out how that purchase fits within a spending plan - if it does. Now it's no one's job to judge another person - but it is everyone's job to judge themselves by some standard or other. And it's good to have a well-thought-out standard, which is what YMOYL helps you do.
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