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I am a member of a non consumer/frugal living group elsewhere on social media, and it frequently comes up in discussions that people will talk about how their friends waste money buying stuff they don't need, or spending money eating out or going to movies. I wanted to learn tips for saving money, but I am seeing all these judgments of other people and what they spend. I just noticed recently that someone posted a "complaint" on that site about how someone she knows spent $75 on an outfit to wear to a party. It was posted in the tone of "how dare this person spend this kind of money on clothing". Although it may seem like someone wastes money in one area of their life, they may save a lot in another area. Although I like to dine out occasionally, I went to only three movies last year, and two of those were at the Dollar Theater. So that is an area where I save.
I like to save money & be frugal for us, but I also waste money in other things, but I feel that is my choice. If someone wants to spend XX amount of money on whatever, as long as they are still able to pay their bills & put food on the table, I do not have a problem with it. It is not my business, & what I want to waste money on, is not their business either. I hate preachy people.
I am pretty frugal myself, but it isn't my call to judge how others spend their money. If it affects me, yes, I have an opinion. That 75.00 outfit might double as an outfit for work, church, other parties. That really isn't alot of money for a nice outfit.
For me, personally, I treat myself to a nice haircut every 5 weeks. Some compliment me on the haircut, ask where I got it, then ask how much I paid. When I tell them 40.00 plus tip, they look at me like I'm crazy. Well, that haircut always makes me feel like a million bucks and I feel I am worth getting it. I don't spend money on pedis or manis or facials. I don't spend much on makeup and perfume or clothes, but I gotta have that good haircut. I won't risk walking out looking like a scarecrow. It's my reward for working hard.
I can't see judging anyone about how they spend their hard earned money, unless they are bumming off me all the time.
Agree. For me, it's when someone is either asking for me to take up the slack for their lack of budgeting, like asking for rides, etc., or they expect me to listen to them complain about how they can't afford to buy a house or something else they want to do, while sipping their $5.00 Starbucks coffee, and a new Coach bag swinging on their arm...
And, I think getting older, sometimes it's hard to not see into their future and their lack of planning for it, and being judgmental about watching someone make bad decisions.
But, it can be kind of like a religion, where people just start being judgmental of people who don't subscribe to the same belief system they have - whatever it might be.
If no one spent money on new items eventually more stores will close and even more people will be jobless.
That is a good point.
This whole issue came up for me when I saw a woman being criticized because she said she never buys second hand clothes for her kids, even though she lives on a budget. She has very good reasons why, namely because she hands down most clothes to the next younger child. So she buys brand new, good condition clothing and then hands on down as they outgrow. Makes sense to me. But she's had people judge her for not buying second hand clothes.
I work with someone who spends like crazy, stuff that to me is ridiculous, but I don't care. What I care about is when she complains about not having money and needing to work another job to pay her bills. I just tell her, don't spend so much then and walk away. She's 60 yrs old and probably will never get it.
Agree. For me, it's when someone is either asking for me to take up the slack for their lack of budgeting, like asking for rides, etc., or they expect me to listen to them complain about how they can't afford to buy a house or something else they want to do, while sipping their $5.00 Starbucks coffee, and a new Coach bag swinging on their arm....
That's different because in that case, they are either trying to get money from you, or soliciting your advice. So in that case it would be okay to say something. But it would be more along the lines of "you know what? I've given you several rides already, I need gas money next time or I won't be able to drive you. Or maybe you could take an Uber".
Mainly, I'm talking about people who are giving unsolicited advice out of nowhere. I would never do that unless they truly asked me "what do you think, should I spend 75 dollars on this outfit?" Then it would be okay to give my opinion.
I've seen plenty of people who don't plan at all for their future, and the sad results from that. But I don't know the whole story.
I agree that it only matters if they are sponging, complaining that they can't pay bills, or whatever. Otherwise at every income level has things they care about spending money on and things they don't.
One of my best friends buys generic everything and is forever talking about saving here or how to buy cheaper there, and takes expensive vacations. Nothing wrong with that. She's saving on all the other things so she can enjoy vacations.
Sometimes I mention that I can't afford something right now, but that doesn't mean I'm complaining. So I don't feel it should open me up to unsolicited comments from other people.
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