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Old 03-16-2017, 09:14 PM
 
8,768 posts, read 10,342,515 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hellob View Post
He is a great guy and I'm not worried about him leeching off me. He's not like that. In fact, he's too nice to people and that's why he's in debt.
My issue is that we view money differently and even though I think he's foolish with it, he does have the pension and SS for life as well as handyman jobs he picks up. So, even though he's got bad habits, he also has guaranteed income until he dies. I'm not in that situation so I can't live the same way. I'm still in the working/saving stage.
However, I'm probably overthinking it bc once his wife dies he will have a lot of income freed up.
Honestly, it sounds like someone is more upset that their inheritance is dwindling!
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Old 03-17-2017, 05:49 AM
 
5,190 posts, read 3,786,217 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rabrrita View Post
Honestly, it sounds like someone is more upset that their inheritance is dwindling!
I wouldn't go that far, but I do wonder why the OP posted in the first place.


I am also detecting a little jealousy ('He has guaranteed income for life - I do not', 'I cannot live the same way').
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Old 03-17-2017, 08:05 AM
 
3,448 posts, read 1,494,034 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rabrrita View Post
Honestly, it sounds like someone is more upset that their inheritance is dwindling!
Are you crazy? I have no inheritance coming. My dad has always lived month to month and cc dependent. He owns nothing to give me. He only has a 10k insurance policy for his funeral. He doesn't even have $1000 in savings.
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Old 03-17-2017, 08:11 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mochamajesty View Post
I wouldn't go that far, but I do wonder why the OP posted in the first place.


I am also detecting a little jealousy ('He has guaranteed income for life - I do not', 'I cannot live the same way').
Jealous? Not even close. I'm saying that if you know that you are getting X amount every month until you die, you might not be as worried as someone who doesn't have that security.
Oh yeah, I'm so jealous and begrudge him for his pension after working for 20 years at Rikers. Get real. He's been held hostage, assaulted, bodily fluids thrown on him, etc. I'm the opposite of jealous.
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Old 03-17-2017, 08:30 AM
 
5,190 posts, read 3,786,217 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hellob View Post
Jealous? Not even close. I'm saying that if you know that you are getting X amount every month until you die, you might not be as worried as someone who doesn't have that security.
Oh yeah, I'm so jealous and begrudge him for his pension after working for 20 years at Rikers. Get real. He's been held hostage, assaulted, bodily fluids thrown on him, etc. I'm the opposite of jealous.
Ok, if you say so.


But why post? I mean, I could understand if he had a habit of not paying his way. Then your concerned would be warranted. But that's not the case. As long as he pays his share while living there, what's the issue?
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Old 03-17-2017, 08:59 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mochamajesty View Post
Ok, if you say so.


But why post? I mean, I could understand if he had a habit of not paying his way. Then your concerned would be warranted. But that's not the case. As long as he pays his share while living there, what's the issue?
The issue is that different beliefs about money can cause a lot of problems in relationships. It isn't like we are married but it's also not like simply being roommates.
That's why I asked for advice on dealing with it. I got advice, I'm dealing with it. End of story.
Quit trying to make it more than it is. I'm not jealous of my father.
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Old 03-17-2017, 10:04 AM
 
Location: North Idaho
21,001 posts, read 25,765,271 times
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No, I understand OP's position. It is bewildering watching someone squander their money and when it is a parent, it is normal to want to intercede and teach them how to take better care of themself, because you care what happens to them.

But you can't do that, OP. You have to grit your teeth and stay out of it. He's an adult and it is his money. Until he goes senile and starts sending money to televangelists or to the prince of Nigeria, you must make yourself ignore it.
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Old 03-17-2017, 10:13 AM
 
4,387 posts, read 1,493,953 times
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Your dad sounds like a kind-hearted and generous person.


Maybe when his wife dies, he will have more money, so he can pay off some of his debt. To me, that seems to be your biggest concern?


And who knows, maybe with your dad around, you won't have to be so much on a hamburger budget. It could be a win/win for both of you. I'm not saying take advantage of your dad...but maybe it'll be a blessing for both of you, when he moves in.
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Old 03-17-2017, 10:48 AM
 
3,448 posts, read 1,494,034 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sassybluesy View Post
Your dad sounds like a kind-hearted and generous person.


Maybe when his wife dies, he will have more money, so he can pay off some of his debt. To me, that seems to be your biggest concern?


And who knows, maybe with your dad around, you won't have to be so much on a hamburger budget. It could be a win/win for both of you. I'm not saying take advantage of your dad...but maybe it'll be a blessing for both of you, when he moves in.
Yeah, that's my biggest concern, the debt. I get anxiety seeing all the interest piling up and the fact that he's got nothing to show for working so hard. Whenever there's a bump in the road it has to go to a cc. I feel so bad.
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Old 03-17-2017, 01:03 PM
 
5,190 posts, read 3,786,217 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hellob View Post
The issue is that different beliefs about money can cause a lot of problems in relationships. It isn't like we are married but it's also not like simply being roommates.
That's why I asked for advice on dealing with it. I got advice, I'm dealing with it. End of story.
Quit trying to make it more than it is. I'm not jealous of my father.


It is like roommates, though.
You are both adults living in the same space.
And money can cause problems if people are married, but otherwise you are doing this to yourself IMO.
The only way this would concern me is the light bill.
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