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OP, after looking at some of the links to your other threads, it's clear that you need to divorce your husband. You're working to support a drug addict and that will lead you nothing but economic and personal misery. You're in deep, deep denial, Sweetie. Nothing about your situation is going to get better.
If you love him, you can divorce him and keep loving him. You can even date him. But there's no need to support his obnoxious ass.
No, no dating, either. Maybe she can pray for him. But divorce with no contact--and therapy to figure out why she married such a guy in the first place--are in order.
No, no dating, either. Maybe she can pray for him. But divorce with no contact--and therapy to figure out why she married such a guy in the first place--are in order.
I agree with you, but the reason I pointed out that she could still date him is because she says in her other threads that she loves him. If she feels like he can still be in her life, maybe she can at least stop letting him ruin her financially. Telling someone in a co-dependent relationship that they have to completely cut off the other person is probably a non-starter.
But the guy is clearly an unrepentant leech and the best thing she could is throw him out and start taking better care of herself.
Not sure, but it sounds there is much bigger problem underneath. Perhaps a midlife crisis? He is not happy, obviously, with food, with products... but what about his life? Lack of work? (why is he not working?) Marriage? Friends?
Maybe there is something missing in his life, lately. You said this is a new behavior. Maybe he is influenced by someone, trying to keep up with someone who impressed him. Or thinks, he should do better in his life, and only the best is good enough for him.
Ugh... Never mind. I just read some of you other threads.
You husband is just draining you out financially, emotionally...
Since you are happily putting up with that, you should not wonder or question his actions, because you are enabling every single one of them.
It's hard to contribute to threads with such great posts like this so early in them. Well done.
Thanks for the good advice, ya'll. I appreciate it. I won't post here anymore. If there was a way that I could close my account and delete all of my posts, I would, but I guess I can't. Since that's not an option, I'll just stay off of this forum. But again, thanks, everyone. Y'all tell the truth, even when I don't want to hear it. It's helpful, and many of you have good advice.
Thanks for the good advice, ya'll. I appreciate it. I won't post here anymore. If there was a way that I could close my account and delete all of my posts, I would, but I guess I can't. Since that's not an option, I'll just stay off of this forum. But again, thanks, everyone. Y'all tell the truth, even when I don't want to hear it. It's helpful, and many of you have good advice.
Don’t go anywhere; you’ll be fine here.
Heck; I figured you have tons of potential. I mean, I was with “that guy†for 7 years & had 5 kids with him. I think you are doing way better than me already.
I know that smell. It smells sort of like burnt, metallic cinnamon. Running out of spoons & finding them all bent with black soot underneath. Actually; everything turns black, even them. Their fingers & mouths ... yuck (gag).
Does your car still have an antenna? Mine never did, not for long. Nor did my poor neighbors. And all my wooden tables had tiny little circle indents on them. About the same size as an ... antenna. I don’t miss those middle of the night runs (he was too paranoid) to 7-11 for chore-boy, baking soda & tin-foil.
But anyway. Something just clicked after 7 years. When I’m done I’m just done but I wasn’t going to be done just because everyone else thought I should. It’s not an event to be taken lightly; or under pressure. You have to have your wits about you & you can’t afford distractions. It was a very dangerous time of my life.
Once I made it to the other side I couldn’t believe how long I had lived like that. And it would be years before it was truly over. I was out of the frying pan & into the fire because he was so crazy that normal people couldn’t help me. He made federal agents look like Mayberry doing slapstick. I gambled & went over his head. It’s a long story...
You are not the only one who has had to deal with this & you are not “less than†anybody else who never has. There is something to be said for learning how to land on your feet the hard way. You never know when you might need that skill; none of us do.
Heck; I figured you have tons of potential. I mean, I was with “that guy” for 7 years & had 5 kids with him. I think you are doing way better than me already.
I know that smell. It smells sort of like burnt, metallic cinnamon. Running out of spoons & finding them all bent with black soot underneath. Actually; everything turns black, even them. Their fingers & mouths ... yuck (gag).
Does your car still have an antenna? Mine never did, not for long. Nor did my poor neighbors. And all my wooden tables had tiny little circle indents on them. About the same size as an ... antenna. I don’t miss those middle of the night runs (he was too paranoid) to 7-11 for chore-boy, baking soda & tin-foil.
But anyway. Something just clicked after 7 years. When I’m done I’m just done but I wasn’t going to be done just because everyone else thought I should. It’s not an event to be taken lightly; or under pressure. You have to have your wits about you & you can’t afford distractions. It was a very dangerous time of my life.
Once I made it to the other side I couldn’t believe how long I had lived like that. And it would be years before it was truly over. I was out of the frying pan & into the fire because he was so crazy that normal people couldn’t help me. He made federal agents look like Mayberry doing slapstick. I gambled & went over his head. It’s a long story...
You are not the only one who has had to deal with this & you are not “less than” anybody else who never has. There is something to be said for learning how to land on your feet the hard way. You never know when you might need that skill; none of us do.
Thanks for opening up and sharing your experience. It makes me feel a little less alone.
My car has a "shark fin"-style antenna, so it's not in danger. Drink cans and wrench sockets are his preferred vehicle for smoking that crap.
He doesn't have access to our money...he can't. Today, he had asked me for $20 for marijuana, and I told him OK. I went into the Dollar General to buy some milk and cat food and to get cash back to give him the money. He randomly said he'd come into the store with me. That was unusual...he never does that.
I was on another aisle, and he said something real quick (couldn't hear or understand what he said), and he got on the pet aisle fast. Anyway, as I made my way over there, I saw him stealing a packet of catnip, which he put in his pants.
I walked up on him, and I said, "Oh, were you looking at the catnip?," and he freaked, his eyes were huge (there was an employee nearby who he was probably scared of busting him for stealing a $2 pack of catnip), and he was like "What are you talking about? Why are you talking about catnip? I just went down that aisle. You're talking about cats, but maybe I was looking at dog food."
I still gave him the $20, and he said something about going to get a bag of weed, and I was like, "Oh, you're gonna show me a bag of catnip?" and he got SOOOOOOO pissed...it was a big argument...
And he ended up taking my $20 to buy crack, and he showed me a bag of "weed" that was catnip, which was the whole reason he STOLE the catnip in the first place. Because I guess he thinks I'm stupid and don't know the difference between marijuana and catnip.
But he also intimidates me...it's not so much that I worry about him HURTING me, but he will make every moment of my life a living hell or will start destroying our home/breaking our belongings if I say too much...so I just let it go, even though I know what he's doing. I make little comments to let him know that I know what he's doing, but even that is risky because he gets really defensive.
And I'm also overly sensitive...he gets really, really, really MEAN instantly, as soon as I call him out on anything. So I just don't. He knows that...I'm sure it's why he does it. But I guess I'm not strong or brave enough to deal with it. Plus, he never admits anything. I could catch him with the crack rock in his hand, and he would deny it STRONGLY and cuss me out for having the audacity of accusing him of having a crack rock in his hand.
Thanks for opening up and sharing your experience. It makes me feel a little less alone.
My car has a "shark fin"-style antenna, so it's not in danger. Drink cans and wrench sockets are his preferred vehicle for smoking that crap.
He doesn't have access to our money...he can't. Today, he had asked me for $20 for marijuana, and I told him OK. I went into the Dollar General to buy some milk and cat food and to get cash back to give him the money. He randomly said he'd come into the store with me. That was unusual...he never does that.
I was on another aisle, and he said something real quick (couldn't hear or understand what he said), and he got on the pet aisle fast. Anyway, as I made my way over there, I saw him stealing a packet of catnip, which he put in his pants.
I walked up on him, and I said, "Oh, were you looking at the catnip?," and he freaked, his eyes were huge (there was an employee nearby who he was probably scared of busting him for stealing a $2 pack of catnip), and he was like "What are you talking about? Why are you talking about catnip? I just went down that aisle. You're talking about cats, but maybe I was looking at dog food."
I still gave him the $20, and he said something about going to get a bag of weed, and I was like, "Oh, you're gonna show me a bag of catnip?" and he got SOOOOOOO pissed...it was a big argument...
And he ended up taking my $20 to buy crack, and he showed me a bag of "weed" that was catnip, which was the whole reason he STOLE the catnip in the first place. Because I guess he thinks I'm stupid and don't know the difference between marijuana and catnip.
But he also intimidates me...it's not so much that I worry about him HURTING me, but he will make every moment of my life a living hell or will start destroying our home/breaking our belongings if I say too much...so I just let it go, even though I know what he's doing. I make little comments to let him know that I know what he's doing, but even that is risky because he gets really defensive.
And I'm also overly sensitive...he gets really, really, really MEAN instantly, as soon as I call him out on anything. So I just don't. He knows that...I'm sure it's why he does it. But I guess I'm not strong or brave enough to deal with it. Plus, he never admits anything. I could catch him with the crack rock in his hand, and he would deny it STRONGLY and cuss me out for having the audacity of accusing him of having a crack rock in his hand.
I hope you don't leave. You have people all over the world rooting for you to come out of this situation. You can vent here and get advice even if you're not ready to listen to it. Sending you a hug, kiddo.
In all fairness 1200 for a living room set does sound low.
My leather couch from ikea alone was 1000. I already had furniture to match that was high quality but, if I had to buy other pieces with only 200 bucks--I'm sure it would be cheap particle furniture
Also I don't know about steak every night but some of those meals sound kinda scrimp too
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