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Old 09-02-2018, 07:56 AM
 
Location: The analog world
15,551 posts, read 8,734,436 times
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I don't know that all lifestyle creep is avoidable, but my method for hanging onto household income gains is simply to lock it up in investments that are painful to access. When extra money arrives, I move it out of the household budget immediately so it's not tempting to fritter it away.
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Old 09-02-2018, 07:41 PM
 
247 posts, read 100,240 times
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We all have unique preferences...but those so-called preferences are inevitably informed by myriads of social narratives/constructs that influence our thinking in insidious ways.
At the end of the day, nobody wants to admit that societal constructs impact their "choices," but they do.
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Old 09-04-2018, 09:55 AM
 
11,355 posts, read 6,418,421 times
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I think lifestyle creep can start from the day youíre born and what you grow accustomed to. For example, a person that grew up living poor/modestly can really appreciate a smaller/simple/low cost to own home in a working class neighborhood whereas some that grow up surrounded by nicer things have a higher threshold of whatís minimally acceptable. Seems natural for parents to give their children the best life possible but at the same time it raises the bar for what a person will think of as ďbare minimumĒ. Think about a kid who lives a nice upper middle class lifestyle and is only surrounded by upper middle class people in some yuppie suburb - they havenít been in the struggle so they likely find it hard to truly appreciate what they have (perhaps not all but in general) and especially hard to appreciate a lifestyle thatís several notches below.
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Old 09-04-2018, 02:58 PM
Status: "I cannot wait for the heat to break..." (set 3 days ago)
 
Location: Where the sun likes to shine!!
20,368 posts, read 25,483,948 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by eddiehaskell View Post
I think lifestyle creep can start from the day youíre born and what you grow accustomed to. For example, a person that grew up living poor/modestly can really appreciate a smaller/simple/low cost to own home in a working class neighborhood whereas some that grow up surrounded by nicer things have a higher threshold of whatís minimally acceptable. Seems natural for parents to give their children the best life possible but at the same time it raises the bar for what a person will think of as ďbare minimumĒ. Think about a kid who lives a nice upper middle class lifestyle and is only surrounded by upper middle class people in some yuppie suburb - they havenít been in the struggle so they likely find it hard to truly appreciate what they have (perhaps not all but in general) and especially hard to appreciate a lifestyle thatís several notches below.

I agree with that.

I think I was pretty lucky to grow up to divorced parents with two very different lifestyles. I lived with my mother in a vey modest home in a modest neighborhood. Going to flea markets and yards sales was a thing for us as was going to McDonald's or a bagel place using coupons. Flip side at Dad's who had a very nice house where we ate at fancier restaurants and shopped Macy's, lol. My Dad was fantastic and my mother kept me monetarily grounded I'm glad for both of them in my life.
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Old 09-05-2018, 09:54 AM
 
4,313 posts, read 5,265,036 times
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Thatís true to an extent, Iíve certainly lived far below my upbringing as an adult mostly but my standards are still higher because thatís how I was raised so while I can tolerate less I also didnít grow up with it so thereís some adjustment.
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Old 09-05-2018, 11:00 AM
 
Location: NJ
22,670 posts, read 28,551,950 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by eddiehaskell View Post
I think lifestyle creep can start from the day youíre born and what you grow accustomed to. For example, a person that grew up living poor/modestly can really appreciate a smaller/simple/low cost to own home in a working class neighborhood whereas some that grow up surrounded by nicer things have a higher threshold of whatís minimally acceptable. Seems natural for parents to give their children the best life possible but at the same time it raises the bar for what a person will think of as ďbare minimumĒ. Think about a kid who lives a nice upper middle class lifestyle and is only surrounded by upper middle class people in some yuppie suburb - they havenít been in the struggle so they likely find it hard to truly appreciate what they have (perhaps not all but in general) and especially hard to appreciate a lifestyle thatís several notches below.
i met my wife in grad school and she grew up without much money and her mom was spoon feeding her $20 at a time from her student loan money. i remember she would say stuff like that she would never pay $100+ for jeans or x$ for something. i knew it wasnt true. there is no limit to what my wife would spend if i allowed her to. i find her attitude towards money coming from very little very interesting to contrast from me growing up where money wasnt an issue.
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Old 09-05-2018, 09:59 PM
 
11,355 posts, read 6,418,421 times
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Originally Posted by CaptainNJ View Post
i met my wife in grad school and she grew up without much money and her mom was spoon feeding her $20 at a time from her student loan money. i remember she would say stuff like that she would never pay $100+ for jeans or x$ for something. i knew it wasnt true. there is no limit to what my wife would spend if i allowed her to. i find her attitude towards money coming from very little very interesting to contrast from me growing up where money wasnt an issue.
Some folks are like the Warren Buffett quote on page 1...they spend whatever they have instead of working toward a goal. I know some people that have always been poor and if you dropped $50k in their lap they would run down to a dealership and drop it all on a new truck that gets 15mpg. Others may see the $50k as opportunity to get ahead and make life easier for themselves and their children (or possibly future children). I guess it depends on your personality and how you’re raised to view money. I was always one that would question why I need whatever I think I need...a lot of times it would just come down to trying to impress others or wanting to seem more important.

Last edited by eddiehaskell; 09-05-2018 at 10:14 PM..
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Old 09-06-2018, 05:18 AM
Status: "I cannot wait for the heat to break..." (set 3 days ago)
 
Location: Where the sun likes to shine!!
20,368 posts, read 25,483,948 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CaptainNJ View Post
i met my wife in grad school and she grew up without much money and her mom was spoon feeding her $20 at a time from her student loan money. i remember she would say stuff like that she would never pay $100+ for jeans or x$ for something. i knew it wasnt true. there is no limit to what my wife would spend if i allowed her to. i find her attitude towards money coming from very little very interesting to contrast from me growing up where money wasnt an issue.

I've met people like that. They grew up with little and later on in life the money went to their heads.
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Old 09-09-2018, 12:18 PM
 
Location: NJ
22,670 posts, read 28,551,950 times
Reputation: 14611
Quote:
Originally Posted by eddiehaskell View Post
Some folks are like the Warren Buffett quote on page 1...they spend whatever they have instead of working toward a goal. I know some people that have always been poor and if you dropped $50k in their lap they would run down to a dealership and drop it all on a new truck that gets 15mpg. Others may see the $50k as opportunity to get ahead and make life easier for themselves and their children (or possibly future children). I guess it depends on your personality and how youíre raised to view money. I was always one that would question why I need whatever I think I need...a lot of times it would just come down to trying to impress others or wanting to seem more important.

Quote:
Originally Posted by ylisa7 View Post
I've met people like that. They grew up with little and later on in life the money went to their heads.
one thing that it tells me is that you can get a tremendous advantage in life simply by being educated in money by your parents. my wife didnt have any education in finances. her father was a total idiot with money. her mother was responsible with money but had a very simple understanding. i feel like my wife just expects me to put appropriate limits and maybe she would follow her mother's example if she had to.
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Old 09-09-2018, 11:49 PM
 
Location: South Park, San Diego
4,635 posts, read 7,060,273 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by eddiehaskell View Post
I think lifestyle creep can start from the day youíre born and what you grow accustomed to. For example, a person that grew up living poor/modestly can really appreciate a smaller/simple/low cost to own home in a working class neighborhood whereas some that grow up surrounded by nicer things have a higher threshold of whatís minimally acceptable. Seems natural for parents to give their children the best life possible but at the same time it raises the bar for what a person will think of as ďbare minimumĒ. Think about a kid who lives a nice upper middle class lifestyle and is only surrounded by upper middle class people in some yuppie suburb - they havenít been in the struggle so they likely find it hard to truly appreciate what they have (perhaps not all but in general) and especially hard to appreciate a lifestyle thatís several notches below.
Looking from the outside at our family growing up one could be mistaken for thinking we were a family with plenty of resources that were easily handed out to all. We lived in a huge house, parents drove a Mercedes and Porsche, we entertained and traveled fairly often - my Dad was the Dean of a local college and was expected to entertain visiting educators. But, both of my parents grew up dirt poor farmers in Nebraska and Wyoming, the huge house was an old Victorian farmhouse bought for a song, the Mercedes and Porsche were used and no way in hell would us kids get anything that we didnít contribute a healthy portion to and that was just for little things like a bicycle. None of us got a penny for a car and only modest help for college - we went to inexpensive state schools and all of us had jobs during it and grants paid the way.

Having that background makes it easy for us - my SO is from a much more hardscabble family than I was -to not fall into a lifestyle that we are neither comfortable with nor aspiring to. Just because of our location our first, modest house is worth a ridiculous amount of money and we are also very fortunate and honestly to our great surprise earning a very comfortable household income right now. We have 12 and 18 y.o. Subarus, our house is paid off and we have 0 debt. We save at least 60% of our income but we have enough to travel a bit, have season tickets packages to sports and cultural institutions. We are very comfortable spending money for experiences together and with our friends and family (always looking for a bargain) but neither of us have expensive hobbys for ďthingsĒ. I love architecture books and need a powerful computer and up to date CAD software and my SO like bikes and clothes but this only accounts for a few thousand dollars every few years total. We live in a high COL city and state but find it very doable for us.

We have plenty of friends that are also high earners (many much higher than us) who have multi-million dollar houses on the beach and a stable of high-end late model European cars and who always seem to be traveling in some exotic locale but are neither jealous of them nor judge them for their lifestyle choices. We honestly canít compete on those terms and are certainly not going to go into debt nor derail our retirement goals to try to do so.

We feel like we are living a great life and yet donít really think our lifestyle has changed much at all in the last 20 years, maybe travel a bit more and donít shy away from a rare but always fun night out with good friends at a nice restaurant or club/concert. We cook at home 90% of the time and have a blast just walking in the city, checking out a neighborhood festival, museum exhibit or renting scooters to zip around for a 1/2 hour for $5. Iím sure many folks glance at my 18 y.o. Subaru when on the freeway going to and from work at the firm and assume me to be unable to afford an upgrade to a new car and unhappy because of it but they couldnít be more wrong.
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