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Old 10-19-2018, 09:58 PM
 
3,470 posts, read 1,983,736 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by eddiehaskell View Post
Iím wondering if itís possible for one to accept what they have at a given point (assuming all of lifeís basic needs are met) and be as happy as someone that has much nicer things and possibly wants more? Is it possible that happiness can really be a state of mind and lifestyle creep can almost totally be avoided? Life seems very vibrant when you can find enjoyment in the simplest of things or if you can reconnect with the enjoyment those simple things once brought you.
I say YES, and have been trying to teach my OH that.

I have long said " you need to learn to be happy with what you have".

My OH really wants to go on a world cruise. Using a private jet to get to and from port, while taking the Rolls Royce to the airport from the mansion. Seriously. It isnt "just a dream".

I am quite happy we have a small house half paid for in just 3 years, and 2 paid for cars (one is older, an '06, and one is now aging '14 bought for cash in 2014). My OH drives the '14. But has never really liked the car. It was great on the lot, but after 6 months, my OH started to complain. But i refuse to trade it in just because after it was bought, my OH decided nit to like it. When its worn out, we'll trade her in. Which will be AFTER the '06 gets replaced.

My OH always something new or different. I can be content with what i have.

I try to explain to my OH ( who fortunately is NOT "high maintenance ") that "sometines you have to be content with what you have".

Sure, i would not mind a Rolls, but i dont want a mansion i need a walkie-talkie to find out where in the house my OH is when i come home.

And a private jet? Nah, costs too much.

To amuse my OH who thinks we will sometime win the lottery, i bought just 2 tickets for the $1Billion dollar Mega millions. Tonight at the drawing, we did NOT get a single number. My OH is sleeping. But wont wake up rich.

Time to tell my OH again " time to be happy with what youve got".

So...

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Old 10-20-2018, 01:40 AM
 
87 posts, read 13,698 times
Reputation: 92
Quote:
Originally Posted by eddiehaskell View Post
I’m wondering if it’s possible for one to accept what they have at a given point (assuming all of life’s basic needs are met) and be as happy as someone that has much nicer things and possibly wants more? Is it possible that happiness can really be a state of mind and lifestyle creep can almost totally be avoided? Life seems very vibrant when you can find enjoyment in the simplest of things or if you can reconnect with the enjoyment those simple things once brought you.
I can honestly answer yes. We live in an area where our home is nice enough to fit in. We are not retired yet.
My wage hovers around $4 over minimum wage and a really good job has elluded me my entire life. Benefits & perks are great though so that helps.
My Husband is self employed not making much more

Most everyone here is either retired, or if still working, are business owners or employed by the County. Since this is a recreational town and recreation is pretty much free (hiking, swimming, snow-shoeing, cycling, fishing, etc) there are no "classes of people".

We do not spend as much $ buying tickets for events or eating out as some but no one notices. It's not that unusual.


When you are very fit, known as a runner/cyclist, even our more affluent would almost trade places. Your health is quite valuable as one ages
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Old 10-20-2018, 04:02 PM
 
4,325 posts, read 5,274,403 times
Reputation: 4243
Quote:
Originally Posted by Parnassia View Post
Yes it is. I think a lot of the problem is that people can't figure out WHICH of all the non-essential things in their lives matter the most to them and which they get coerced into believing must matter most. They are too easily influenced by what others do or have. In the end you can only really please or satisfy yourself. Forget what others do.

At some point once your head is actually above water (a place to live, food on the table, utilities and services in hand, the basics), there are all sorts of things to desire; hobbies, sports, entertainment, other non-essential possessions, etc. No one says you can't have some of these things, but you obviously can't have the best of all of them. Be honest and identify the ones you really don't care about being the ultimate and lay them aside. Be content with less for those. You'll probably be surprised how many things can be dismissed this way. If you find one thing you really care about there's no law stating you can't fulfill that little desire. The point is to stick to the one or the very few and not get lost in the rest of the trivia.
I like this point. Iím all about having the best things that matter to me, but I donít care about plenty of things that matter to others. I donít spend anything on clothes most year, maybe a sports T-shirt here or there, but thatís just not something I have to do. But I have a $10,000 home entertainment system because itís something I highly value and whether itís movies, TV, or video games I use it a lot daily and enjoy it.

I have many awesome things that bring me a lot of happiness, but theyíre all functional, like my arcade machine or pinball or home gym equipment I use 3-4 times a week to keep healthy. ďThingsĒ that serve no purpose donít really bring much happiness.
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Old 10-20-2018, 04:30 PM
 
11,387 posts, read 6,435,973 times
Reputation: 6128
Quote:
Originally Posted by JonathanLB View Post
I like this point. I’m all about having the best things that matter to me, but I don’t care about plenty of things that matter to others. I don’t spend anything on clothes most year, maybe a sports T-shirt here or there, but that’s just not something I have to do. But I have a $10,000 home entertainment system because it’s something I highly value and whether it’s movies, TV, or video games I use it a lot daily and enjoy it.

I have many awesome things that bring me a lot of happiness, but they’re all functional, like my arcade machine or pinball or home gym equipment I use 3-4 times a week to keep healthy. “Things” that serve no purpose don’t really bring much happiness.
I’m the same way about clothes. Staying fashionable seems like a burden to me and there’s really no limit to the amount of money one can spend. Stuff like jeans (no trendy fits), boots, T-shirt’s, polos, etc won’t win you any fashion awards, but they don’t really go out of style and you can easily blend in. I did spend over $100 on a new pair of leather boots recently, but they are a type that people often wear for 10+ years before they wear out.
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Old 10-20-2018, 04:30 PM
 
11,701 posts, read 16,457,103 times
Reputation: 16369
Quote:
Originally Posted by galaxyhi View Post
I say YES, and have been trying to teach my OH that.

I have long said " you need to learn to be happy with what you have".

My OH really wants to go on a world cruise. Using a private jet to get to and from port, while taking the Rolls Royce to the airport from the mansion. Seriously. It isnt "just a dream".

I am quite happy we have a small house half paid for in just 3 years, and 2 paid for cars (one is older, an '06, and one is now aging '14 bought for cash in 2014). My OH drives the '14. But has never really liked the car. It was great on the lot, but after 6 months, my OH started to complain. But i refuse to trade it in just because after it was bought, my OH decided nit to like it. When its worn out, we'll trade her in. Which will be AFTER the '06 gets replaced.

My OH always something new or different. I can be content with what i have.

I try to explain to my OH ( who fortunately is NOT "high maintenance ") that "sometines you have to be content with what you have".

Sure, i would not mind a Rolls, but i dont want a mansion i need a walkie-talkie to find out where in the house my OH is when i come home.

And a private jet? Nah, costs too much.

To amuse my OH who thinks we will sometime win the lottery, i bought just 2 tickets for the $1Billion dollar Mega millions. Tonight at the drawing, we did NOT get a single number. My OH is sleeping. But wont wake up rich.

Time to tell my OH again " time to be happy with what youve got".

So...

Private jet can actually be cheaper.
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Old 10-20-2018, 04:50 PM
 
3,470 posts, read 1,983,736 times
Reputation: 7868
Quote:
Originally Posted by Threestep View Post
Private jet can actually be cheaper.
Not to own, maintain, hangar somewhere and hire a flight crew always on standby.

You must live in a dream world too.

Im not talking about "renting" a flight on a private jet for relocation purposes or to fly with the owner.

Im talking OWNING.

We cant afford a piper cub plane, (if they still make them) let alone a private jet.

Just this morning my OH was showing me pics of interiors of private jets.

Sheesh.

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Old 10-20-2018, 09:26 PM
 
Location: North West Arkansas (zone 6b)
2,486 posts, read 1,711,704 times
Reputation: 3271
It's an adjustment if you're not used to it. So much of society is trained to want more, it's the guiding principle of marketers. Make you feel inadequate or unhappy unless you're buying.

Even when you buy a house, the thinking for most people is to find out how much house they can buy with what they can get approved for. Why? it maximizes the broker's real estate commission and it maximizes the bank's interest.

Aim your sights lower, look at what you can afford after you factor in savings. Nobody needs to live in a 6k square foot house, those big houses cost more to heat, cool, decorate, mow, paint etc etc etc.

I'm down to about 6-7 years on my home mortgage and the bank has started sending us offers to cash out and solve our money issues or buy an expensive happiness inducing vacation but when you look at those things, you just have to understand that the bank just wants to make more money on the borrowed cash and it helps to realize that borrowing is not always the savior it's pitched to sound like.

Getting into the mindset of simplicity will help your retirement money last longer too effectively, allowing you to retire with less than that crazy $5mil figure that Suzy is throwing out there.
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Old 10-21-2018, 12:22 PM
 
1,239 posts, read 613,317 times
Reputation: 1688
I have to disagree with most posters on this thread. I believe we need more than simply having our "basic needs" met. Maybe if you are 20 years old, living in some dump and you have your whole life ahead of you, that is different. But if made some bad choices, you are older with limited financial resources, you don't own a home and your health is waning, and you are living in a crappy apartment in a bad area, it can be hard to be "happy".

Having "nice things" does not have to mean fancy things. But some element of financial security is essential for a reasonably decent quality of life as we get older.
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Old 10-21-2018, 12:49 PM
 
11,701 posts, read 16,457,103 times
Reputation: 16369
Quote:
Originally Posted by galaxyhi View Post
Not to own, maintain, hangar somewhere and hire a flight crew always on standby.

You must live in a dream world too.

Im not talking about "renting" a flight on a private jet for relocation purposes or to fly with the owner.

Im talking OWNING.

We cant afford a piper cub plane, (if they still make them) let alone a private jet.

Just this morning my OH was showing me pics of interiors of private jets.

Sheesh.

You did not say own and lease back is a viable option. It will take you a while to get to the islands in a cub. Legend Cub offers a copy of the cub.

My world is very real and I am no stranger to aviation. I remember having forgotten the check book when a dealer got aggressive after the second test flight

If he is qualified and insurable just let him rent one for the trip and bite the bullet. Beats a 100 hour overhaul. Or give him a flight hour in a 152 for Christmas.

Oops - SO just piped in - the flight hour can get expensive. Or it can get the ball rolling.

Last edited by Threestep; 10-21-2018 at 01:01 PM..
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Old 10-21-2018, 03:52 PM
 
10,271 posts, read 6,500,789 times
Reputation: 10847
Quote:
Originally Posted by eddiehaskell View Post
Iím wondering if itís possible for one to accept what they have at a given point (assuming all of lifeís basic needs are met) and be as happy as someone that has much nicer things and possibly wants more? Is it possible that happiness can really be a state of mind and lifestyle creep can almost totally be avoided? Life seems very vibrant when you can find enjoyment in the simplest of things or if you can reconnect with the enjoyment those simple things once brought you.
I want more and don't have a lot of money but i"m happy. i have a modest house, I'm making headway to get out of my credit card debt. Life is good, no complaints. $100 million or more would be nice but if it's not in the cards that fine too. I do wish I had more as a safety net like when something breaks but as long as I can survive I'm fine. In the grand scheme of things I may not have much but I have more than what half the world has.
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