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Old 12-06-2018, 11:46 AM
 
1,511 posts, read 1,419,794 times
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My SO and I met in our 30s, I was early 30s and he was mid. We decided to wait a couple of years to get all the ducks in a row and then try for kids. I'd be mid 30s by then.


Right before we were set to try he was laid off. It derailed our plans in a huge way. It was a nearly 2 years before he found another job and just recently that he's back to pre-lay off salary. Sadly, enough time has passed that I'm not early 40s and he's mid. We both feel that ship has passed due to our ages.



So end of day, finances did indeed make the decision for us.
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Old 12-06-2018, 11:51 AM
 
Location: OHIO
1,946 posts, read 831,984 times
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Even if I wanted kids right now, absolutely could not afford it and wouldn't have them.


I always said I would adopt, but I don't see it being feasible anytime soon. I wont have kids unless I know I can afford to comfortably do so.
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Old 12-06-2018, 12:34 PM
 
Location: Central IL
13,759 posts, read 7,390,950 times
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I've never wanted kids but money had nothing to do with it, money is however an obvious benefit of not having them.

My guess is that very few people who want kids don't have them JUST because of money. And most people who don't want kids just don't have the desire to shell out money for something they aren't willing to devote their lives to.
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Old 12-06-2018, 07:42 PM
 
Location: Somewhere in USA
539 posts, read 458,999 times
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I did not have a reason to have kids, it comes with my other half naturally. We work hard so they can get the care they need, food to eat, clothes to wear and some toys to play. The feeling of being a parent of another human being is inexplicable, one must experience it to actually feel it. I am grateful to feel it everyday. Having kids also force me to be better, to self discipline and most importantly, to be understandable for those who also have children.
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Old 12-06-2018, 09:31 PM
 
Location: North Texas
280 posts, read 116,088 times
Reputation: 158
Quote:
Originally Posted by submart View Post
Anyone decide not to have children for financial reasons? Was cost the #1 reason why you decided not to have kids?
One should not interfere with the natural process of life. You should let kids happen and let everything turn out for the best eventually. I have friends who don't want to get married for that same reason. I don't agree with that ideology. There are people in this world who would give up the world to have kids. Kids are a gift from God and you shouldn't consider them a financial burden.

Kids are not expensive, in the beginning you just need diapers and some clothes....you should breast feed because that is the natural process of life. Kids turn out allot healthier and stronger with bone structure in most cases. Don't trust the formula milk.
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Old 12-07-2018, 05:06 PM
 
600 posts, read 159,036 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Capitalprophets View Post
One should not interfere with the natural process of life. You should let kids happen and let everything turn out for the best eventually.

<snip>Kids are not expensive, in the beginning you just need diapers and some clothes....you should breast feed because that is the natural process of life. Kids turn out allot healthier and stronger with bone structure in most cases. Don't trust the formula milk.
First, there are people whose hearts are not into the idea of raising kids. Let them be.

Second- kids are not expensive? Ha. Let's start with the hospital bills after they're born, especially if you have a $6,000 deductible. Oh, yeah- better get insurance on the new little critter, too. Unless you plan to home-school or send them to private school, you may need to move to a better school district. Add the cost of child care if both parents work outside the home (almost a necessity in HCOL areas). Or, reduce the household income by what the stay-at-home parent used to make, or could make. (I had a colleague whose wife left her work as a doctor to be a SAHM- and now his income had to go towards paying both their student loans.) Then there are the kids who need extra care/attention. I got off cheap- mine had ADD and sending him to a military boarding school for HS, at approximately the cost of a brand-new SUV ($50K total for 4 years, 1998-2002) turned him in the right direction.

I LOVED being a mother and watching my son grow up and 34 years later I still treasure him and can't imagine life without him- not to mention my wonderful DIL and the joy my granddaughters bring. He wasn't cheap, though.
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Old 12-08-2018, 10:53 AM
 
Location: Wisconsin
16,571 posts, read 16,208,826 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CaptainNJ View Post
health insurance is an interesting example because we see how you get charged the same for a "family" plan when you have different numbers of children. i dont all the detail, but that seems to be the case. but it isnt a situation (from what i can see) where the government is taking money to redistribute in a place where people with children get the benefit. it is a private business decision. so theoretically it works out financially for the insurance company to operate this way. if so, then its not really a "world subsidy."
My late husband and I always held our main health insurance through my job. Over the 30 plus years it was through several/many different companies. One thing that was always the same was that the choice was "single coverage", just the employed person, or "family coverage", the employed person and their spouse or spouse and children. So, it didn't matter if it was just you and your spouse or you and your spouse and one child or you and your spouse and six children. The "family deductible" was always the same, too, whether your "family" was just your spouse or your spouse and one child or your spouse and six children. Of course, other companies may have different types of insurance.
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Old Yesterday, 09:32 AM
 
10,387 posts, read 6,705,361 times
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If you want kids money should not be the issue to not have them because you will have regrets later in life. Once you have them you will figure it out even if you have to live frugally.
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Old Yesterday, 11:43 PM
 
Location: Mid-Atlantic
23,097 posts, read 22,141,519 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by germaine2626 View Post
My late husband and I always held our main health insurance through my job. Over the 30 plus years it was through several/many different companies. One thing that was always the same was that the choice was "single coverage", just the employed person, or "family coverage", the employed person and their spouse or spouse and children. So, it didn't matter if it was just you and your spouse or you and your spouse and one child or you and your spouse and six children. The "family deductible" was always the same, too, whether your "family" was just your spouse or your spouse and one child or your spouse and six children. Of course, other companies may have different types of insurance.
With at least one company we had, it was individual, couple, or family.
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Old Today, 10:27 AM
 
Location: NJ
22,984 posts, read 28,901,048 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LifeIsGood01 View Post
If you want kids money should not be the issue to not have them because you will have regrets later in life. Once you have them you will figure it out even if you have to live frugally.
i believe this also. the woman's eggs do lose quality as they get older and problems increase in likelihood.

im not going to tell anyone that they should have children as if it is their obligation. however, they should know the facts. my feelings on it have changed greatly from before and after having children.
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