U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Economics > Frugal Living
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 02-04-2019, 05:54 PM
 
183 posts, read 142,130 times
Reputation: 169

Advertisements

So my parents are offering me and my wife a cool opportunity to save and invest a lot of money for the next 2 yrs.

I've getting deployed for a total of 400 days. I'm in the Army Reserves and a State Correctional Luitentant. We live just 10 mins from my parents house. My wife works for local government as well.

My parents suggest my wife and kids move in with them until I get back, plus rent out the current house we live in now. We've done this twice before but not with kids. Their house is over 2800 sqft. Plus I'm getting a big contract bonus for reenlistment. So this would pay off our 3rd house and all the deployment money/wife salary would go to buying 2 more houses. I just don't want invade my parents space and put my family in bad situation. Would you move back in?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 02-04-2019, 06:23 PM
 
1,246 posts, read 398,808 times
Reputation: 3234
This seems to me to be more of a "relationship" question than a money question. Clearly you wouldn't be doing it out of necessity. How does your wife get along with your parents? Will there be disagreements over how the kids are raised (values, discipline, nutrition, video games)? Does this involve any commitment on your parents' part to provide daycare, paid or unpaid? What if it doesn't work out?

This COULD work out. A former colleague bought a giant house in NJ with multiple kitchens and his two daughters and their husbands also paid in; they all live in the place (including grandkids) and he loved it. It all depends on the people involved.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-04-2019, 09:46 PM
 
Location: Mid-Atlantic
24,048 posts, read 23,041,749 times
Reputation: 29482
You're going to pack up all of your stuff and put most of it in storage? That seems a serious nuisance to me.

Yes, how well does your wife get along with your parents? She may like them a great deal, but does she want to live with them? My father and father-in-law were both reasonable, easy to get along with guys. My mother and mother-in-law were both extremely opinionated and rather domineering. I'd learned how to deal with my mother, but M-I-L was a tough nut to crack. I wouldn't have chosen to live with her.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-04-2019, 10:57 PM
 
Location: Oregon Coast
4,665 posts, read 1,830,684 times
Reputation: 6109
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr.910nc View Post
So my parents are offering me and my wife a cool opportunity to save and invest a lot of money for the next 2 yrs.

I've getting deployed for a total of 400 days. I'm in the Army Reserves and a State Correctional Luitentant. We live just 10 mins from my parents house. My wife works for local government as well.

My parents suggest my wife and kids move in with them until I get back, plus rent out the current house we live in now. We've done this twice before but not with kids. Their house is over 2800 sqft. Plus I'm getting a big contract bonus for reenlistment. So this would pay off our 3rd house and all the deployment money/wife salary would go to buying 2 more houses. I just don't want invade my parents space and put my family in bad situation. Would you move back in?
Hell, yeah. As long as everybody is up for it, your wife, kids, parents, it sounds like a good plan.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-05-2019, 10:48 AM
 
3,433 posts, read 3,025,092 times
Reputation: 10209
Things to think about...

1.) Relationship between wife/parents
2.) Who gets to pack up the house and decide what goes where?
3.) What kind of renters are you going to get in this amount of time? Does having them live in your house actually cover the bills and get you financially further ahead?
4.) Is the extra stress you are creating here worth it?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-05-2019, 08:36 PM
 
3,424 posts, read 2,180,679 times
Reputation: 6917
Love my FIL (and MIL when she was alive), but you could not have paid me to move in with them. YMMV, of course!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-05-2019, 08:46 PM
 
Location: Silicon Valley
17,736 posts, read 22,037,401 times
Reputation: 33887
I think this should be up to your wife and kids. Your parents offered, so they must be okay with it.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-05-2019, 11:27 PM
 
Location: Redmond, Washington
104 posts, read 33,494 times
Reputation: 170
Wow, you have wonderful parents who love you very much to offer to be put out in this way Cherish them. Since you're going to be gone, it's up to your wife. This is usually not a good idea though
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-07-2019, 06:28 AM
 
4,178 posts, read 2,382,119 times
Reputation: 9563
Ultimately its up to you. But:

I " boomeranged " back home at age 30, just me, to get back on my feet.

Worst decision i ever made.

I then got a job 3rd shift, which was ok except for days off, when i wanted to be up all night as per habit. That alone was a disaster.

I moved out sooner than later.

Personally, i would not do it.
A parent is always a parent, to both their children and grandchildren, and how you raise your kids might not be how they would. That alone can cause problems.

Also that puts an inlaw in with your parents. Your wife may not cook the same way, may not clean the same way etc as your mother. That may cause an imbalance between the two. Your mother may discover "shes not good enough for her little boy ".

I think unless money is so tight that its necessary (which is not your case), then its a bad idea all around.

You seem to he getting enough income, and living 10 mins away mean they can see you and your kids often as possible, but gives your family autonomy.

And autonomy is priceless, and cant be bought or sold.

Not even to mention the renting out of your house if they fail to pay, damage the property etc.i own a duplex in another state, as me how i know....

Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-07-2019, 01:53 PM
 
Location: Florida
4,862 posts, read 2,767,256 times
Reputation: 8680
My aunt and cousin moved in with my grandparents when my uncle was sent to the south pacific during WW2. After the war they became caregivers in that same house which had been in the family since it was built in 1878.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply

Quick Reply
Message:


Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Economics > Frugal Living
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2019, Advameg, Inc. | Please obey Forum Rules | Terms of Use and Privacy Policy

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top